Where do I belong?
I sit here, and wonder, where do I belong... if theirs nothing keeping me here(hometown) then why am I still here, putting up with all the crap in my life... why is it I feel like i have to be here to take care of my father, mother and sister... WHy?
I need to push myself away from the ones that I love in order to keep myself from breaking down... thats not right.,.. I shouldnt have to fight so hard for my family... I should just keep on going as normal people do and smile and be happy with everyone around me..
I can't everything I do or say turns to shit..
I'm single for a reason... I can't do anything right.. I met a guy online, a really great guy... I got his hopes up, i said we would meet and then i got so scared and i never met him.... what is wrong with me... This is the guy who you been staying up late to chat with, who is on your mind even though you never met him face to face, and yet I screw things up and i made him feel bad, and i hate myself for it... I'm so sorry.... if only I can get his trust again and make him see that I do care for him and I really do want to meet him and i want to be able to let him in my life and let myself trust men again....
Yes i have been through alot in life, but I need him to know that Im okay, I been okay all my life, i get my bad days like anyone else. But I can handle him, i can learn to accept his way of living and his thoughts and I want to help and I want him to help me... Urgh I'm being so stupid right now... thinking like this I never met the guy... so why why is it I have a need to know who he is, I have a neeed to meet him, but yet when i had that chance I blew it... I'll never get that chance again.... and if i do get that chance... what if? what if we hit it of great... what if i fall so hard and get hurt.. what if I dont fall for him and he falls for me.... what if what if what if, i guess thats the name of the game chance... take a chance on me.........i'll take a chance on you....
I need to push myself away from the ones that I love in order to keep myself from breaking down... thats not right.,.. I shouldnt have to fight so hard for my family... I should just keep on going as normal people do and smile and be happy with everyone around me..
I can't everything I do or say turns to shit..
I'm single for a reason... I can't do anything right.. I met a guy online, a really great guy... I got his hopes up, i said we would meet and then i got so scared and i never met him.... what is wrong with me... This is the guy who you been staying up late to chat with, who is on your mind even though you never met him face to face, and yet I screw things up and i made him feel bad, and i hate myself for it... I'm so sorry.... if only I can get his trust again and make him see that I do care for him and I really do want to meet him and i want to be able to let him in my life and let myself trust men again....
Yes i have been through alot in life, but I need him to know that Im okay, I been okay all my life, i get my bad days like anyone else. But I can handle him, i can learn to accept his way of living and his thoughts and I want to help and I want him to help me... Urgh I'm being so stupid right now... thinking like this I never met the guy... so why why is it I have a need to know who he is, I have a neeed to meet him, but yet when i had that chance I blew it... I'll never get that chance again.... and if i do get that chance... what if? what if we hit it of great... what if i fall so hard and get hurt.. what if I dont fall for him and he falls for me.... what if what if what if, i guess thats the name of the game chance... take a chance on me.........i'll take a chance on you....