[ficlet and illustrations] Therapy Hot Springs Crack
mtarashidango and I decided to combine efforts for our friend Anna's birthday. I'd write a cracky little short, she'd illustrate. But the old crack engine wasn't firing. I asked M for five random words. She gave me:
Gum
Hot springs
Handcuffs
See-through aprons
Farting
^^;
^^;;;;
The result is below. Therapy Hot Springs Crack.
Happy Birthday Anna! Was that you who showed up at the end? I know you like 'em young! *runs like freakin hell*
Tao peered into Akihito's room. "Are you ready yet? Done unpacking? I can't wait to get into the hot springs! We've never been on a family trip to one before."
"You look cute in a yukata. If we see any girls they'll be all over you." Akihito stuck a piece of chewing gum in his mouth. "This should be fun. It's pretty relaxing basically, and there's lots of good food. And we can play games at night."
"What kinds of games?"
"All kinds of stuff. Ping pong, other things. I'll show you later. I'm almost done here. Why don't you find Fei and Asami and see if they want to go bathe?"
"Okay!"
Tao ran to the next room. "Dad, are you done unpacking? We can bathe, then Akihito says we can play all kinds of games."
"Oh yes, all kinds of games." Asami was bending over his suitcase and turned around. He was holding what looked like a plastic pink snake in one hand and a set of fuzzy handcuffs in the other. The snake started vibrating and Asami quickly dropped it back into his suitcase and snapped the lid shut on it. "You didn't see that."
"What about the handcuffs? Did I see those?"
Asami pursed his lips, considering the question. "Not if I don't want Fei to kill me. Let's just say you didn't even come in here."
"Got it. Not here, didn't see you."
"That's my boy. We'll make a crime lord out of you yet."
"I can only hope for the day. We'll be waiting in the baths."
Tao ran to the next room. He hesitated over opening the door, but really, what could be worst than the last?
His father was bent over his suitcase, nude but for a sheer apron, feather duster in hand.
Tao quietly closed the door. "I so did not want to see that," he muttered.
He went back down the hall and stuck his head into Asami's room. Asami jumped and dropped some clamps and chains.
"Dammit Tao! At least knock."
"I just wanted to say, I didn't see Father either."
Asami's eyes narrowed, then widened. "Not the apron?"
"I'm not sayin' a thing."
"Tao, have I told you I loved you yet today?"
"I don't think you've ever told me that."
"I do. You're a wonderful boy, the best son. Especially if you send Akihito down to Fei's room."
Tao sighed a long-suffering sigh.
"I'll buy you 50 shares of Google..."
"In this market?"
"500?"
"Akihito will be there in 30 seconds flat."
Tao took off running and burst into Akihito's room. "Akihito, you won't believe this! My father of all people, he just won't stop farting and giggling. I think he's been drinking or something. "
"Fei? Are you kidding? Mr. Decorum?" Akihito started laughing. "I need to record this so we can blackmail him later." He grabbed his camera and dashed for the door. "Thanks Tao! I'll owe you one."
Tao winced as the door slammed shut. "I know. I only hope the stock appreciates enough to be worth it."
Tao picked up the pack of chewing gum and went out into the springs. He offered some to the monkeys there. "I guess it's just you and me, guys."
But not a minute later a couple of teenage girls came out and sat down near him, towels around their hips. Evidently it was a unisex bath. They cooed at the monkeys. He adjusted his towel.
His Dads and Akihito would be occupied for hours, he mused.
"You ladies wouldn't happen to know how Google stock did today, would you?"
"You own Google stock?" Eyes wide, they moved closer.
He smiled, channeling his Dad. "Well of course it's only a small part of my portfolio..."
Three hours later when his Dads finally made it out to the baths, Tao was lying passed out on the flagstones with an idiotic grin on his face, and the only words he could speak for hours were breasts and Google.
Asami pretended to know nothing.
~end~
Gum
Hot springs
Handcuffs
See-through aprons
Farting
^^;
^^;;;;
The result is below. Therapy Hot Springs Crack.
Happy Birthday Anna! Was that you who showed up at the end? I know you like 'em young! *runs like freakin hell*
Tao peered into Akihito's room. "Are you ready yet? Done unpacking? I can't wait to get into the hot springs! We've never been on a family trip to one before."
"You look cute in a yukata. If we see any girls they'll be all over you." Akihito stuck a piece of chewing gum in his mouth. "This should be fun. It's pretty relaxing basically, and there's lots of good food. And we can play games at night."
"What kinds of games?"
"All kinds of stuff. Ping pong, other things. I'll show you later. I'm almost done here. Why don't you find Fei and Asami and see if they want to go bathe?"
"Okay!"
Tao ran to the next room. "Dad, are you done unpacking? We can bathe, then Akihito says we can play all kinds of games."
"Oh yes, all kinds of games." Asami was bending over his suitcase and turned around. He was holding what looked like a plastic pink snake in one hand and a set of fuzzy handcuffs in the other. The snake started vibrating and Asami quickly dropped it back into his suitcase and snapped the lid shut on it. "You didn't see that."
"What about the handcuffs? Did I see those?"
Asami pursed his lips, considering the question. "Not if I don't want Fei to kill me. Let's just say you didn't even come in here."
"Got it. Not here, didn't see you."
"That's my boy. We'll make a crime lord out of you yet."
"I can only hope for the day. We'll be waiting in the baths."
Tao ran to the next room. He hesitated over opening the door, but really, what could be worst than the last?
His father was bent over his suitcase, nude but for a sheer apron, feather duster in hand.
Tao quietly closed the door. "I so did not want to see that," he muttered.
He went back down the hall and stuck his head into Asami's room. Asami jumped and dropped some clamps and chains.
"Dammit Tao! At least knock."
"I just wanted to say, I didn't see Father either."
Asami's eyes narrowed, then widened. "Not the apron?"
"I'm not sayin' a thing."
"Tao, have I told you I loved you yet today?"
"I don't think you've ever told me that."
"I do. You're a wonderful boy, the best son. Especially if you send Akihito down to Fei's room."
Tao sighed a long-suffering sigh.
"I'll buy you 50 shares of Google..."
"In this market?"
"500?"
"Akihito will be there in 30 seconds flat."
Tao took off running and burst into Akihito's room. "Akihito, you won't believe this! My father of all people, he just won't stop farting and giggling. I think he's been drinking or something. "
"Fei? Are you kidding? Mr. Decorum?" Akihito started laughing. "I need to record this so we can blackmail him later." He grabbed his camera and dashed for the door. "Thanks Tao! I'll owe you one."
Tao winced as the door slammed shut. "I know. I only hope the stock appreciates enough to be worth it."
Tao picked up the pack of chewing gum and went out into the springs. He offered some to the monkeys there. "I guess it's just you and me, guys."
But not a minute later a couple of teenage girls came out and sat down near him, towels around their hips. Evidently it was a unisex bath. They cooed at the monkeys. He adjusted his towel.
His Dads and Akihito would be occupied for hours, he mused.
"You ladies wouldn't happen to know how Google stock did today, would you?"
"You own Google stock?" Eyes wide, they moved closer.
He smiled, channeling his Dad. "Well of course it's only a small part of my portfolio..."
Three hours later when his Dads finally made it out to the baths, Tao was lying passed out on the flagstones with an idiotic grin on his face, and the only words he could speak for hours were breasts and Google.
Asami pretended to know nothing.
~end~