[fic] VF: Halfway There
Title: Halfway There
Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: NT
Disclaimer: These characters and Naked Truth belong to Yamane Ayano.
I owe a couple of dear friends fics for their birthdays, but since I write very slowly and seldom these days, I hope they don't mind sharing one. Happy birthday Kat and Mar-chan! ^__^
(and yes, I'm still working on a Feilong fic or two...^^)
The cabin of the Bombardier Challenger was quiet as they reached cruising altitude. He could barely feel the vibration of the engines.
As it should be, considering what I paid for it, he thought with some satisfaction.
He glanced to his right where Akihito had already managed to curl up like a puppy and fall asleep, and allowed himself a small smile. It was no wonder he was exhausted, after their love-making on the boat.
He paused for a moment and contemplated that, for love-making it was, a first for them. It had been... extremely satisfying. Not the fucking, though after four weeks of nothing but his hand he could have fucked anything that moved. But it wouldn't have given him what he needed, which wasn't just pleasure and orgasm. It was pleasure and orgasm and touch and taste and all his senses filled with Akihito.
A soft sleepy snort came from the young man at his side. He reached over and unbuckled Akihito's seat-belt, lifting him onto his lap, taking care not to awaken him.
But even he hadn't expected what awaited him when Akihito had come to his senses on the deck of the ship, the boy rolling over and looking at him with startled eyes. He'd stilled, as always, ready to throw that wall of cool disinterest up between them at the first sign of rejection. But it hadn't come. Instead, Akihito had thrown himself forward in tears, clutching at him, telling him he'd been waiting for him, wringing a rare apology out of Asami. And Akihito had demanded that he take responsibility.
He chuckled softly, startled a moment later when Kirishima, across the aisle, dropped a file and stared at him in surprise.
"Asami-sama?" Kirishima quietly inquired.
Asami shook his head and raised a finger to his mouth in command, glancing down at the still-sleeping Akihito, then back up at his assistant, whose lips tightened slightly. Kirishima started to turn away.
"Kirishima."
The man stopped turning, but didn't turn back. "Yes, Asami-sama?"
"He is important to me."
"I am aware of that. But you're losing your perspective."
"You will treat him with respect."
"I took a bullet for him." The voice was accusatory.
Asami gentled his. "I know you did, and I hope you know how valuable you are to me. Nonetheless, you will not question me in this."
Kirishima turned back and bowed, stiffly. "Yes, Asami-sama."
"I don't require that you like it. I do require that you obey." The stubborn man before him didn't relent. "Kei. He is my life."
The shoulders before him fell. "Yes, Asami-sama." Finally meaning it.
"Why not take a break? This has been hard on you. Use one of the bedrooms."
Kirishima nodded, and in his exhaustion limped slowly down the aisle toward the back of the plane.
Akihito was still oblivious. Well, that wasn't a surprise. Anyone who could sleep through part of one of his fucks wasn't going to wake up at a conversation.
Conversation...
They'd actually talked last night. Really talked. No games, no lies, just honest thoughts and feelings.
Again, it had caught him off guard. He'd expected Akihito to revert to par after getting away from Feilong. But he'd sat and talked, not making excuses, just telling Asami what had happened and how he felt about it. Maybe it was because of what Asami had told him on the ship. He'd felt how shocked the boy had been when Asami told him of the hold he had on his heart, but then he'd relaxed into Asami like it was a dream.
Then once they were away Akihito had tried, for the first time, to connect, and succeeded. And for the first time in years, he'd felt the need to reciprocate with someone, and opened.
After that, he'd needed to ground himself in reality. They both had. Their sex had been wrenching, painful to the two of them, in more ways than one. He knew he'd hurt Akihito. He knew too, that Akihito had in some way needed that pain, because too much pleasure would have only made it seem more dreamlike. When Akihito had clamped hard around him in orgasm he'd felt it too, raw, his feelings open and bleeding like a wound, flowing freely. He couldn't have stopped it if he'd wanted. But for once he hadn't wanted to.
They'd made love. Though they hadn't really made the love. The love had already been there. It had arisen early, though neither had recognized it, grown from who knows what between them. Perhaps it was fate. He just hadn't expected it. It had never been a problem before. Sex was just a past-time, not a commitment. But even though he'd always chosen prickly partners, cute men and women who'd argued and fought and needed to be tamed, Akihito had stood out.
Maybe it was that core of integrity. But then, he'd had honest men before. There'd been Zhu, in Hong Kong - his police officer, Asami reminisced fondly. He'd refused to betray the one who held his loyalty. Luckily his loyalty had been Asami's when he'd fallen in love. But while Asami had thought kindly of him, he hadn't loved in return. He had been only momentarily saddened when Yoh had passed along news of his death in a car accident some four years later.
Perhaps it was Akihito's fire? There too, Akihito wasn't alone. Umi had been almost too wild for him. She'd matched him at a time when he was young and rising through the ranks, but she'd let drugs in and lost any semblance of control. Her overdosing had been a mercy for them both.
Akihito snorted softly against his neck, still sleeping, but breaking his chain of thoughts. Chain indeed, lost in the past like an old man.
"Takaba. Oi, wake up."
He shook the boy on his lap slightly.
"Go 'way," Akihito mumbled. "It's Tao's turn to take out the trash..."
Trash? he thought with amusement.
And who was Tao? That's right, Feilong's boy. He'd probably end up in Feilong's bed someday, since the man was unwilling to admit that he wanted to have a daddy figure rather than be one. Then again, who was supposed to take that job on? Mikhail Arbatov? A childish Russian used to getting what he wanted. Yoh? Too timid to make a single move in seven years. He might get around to asking for a date by the time they were seventy. Feilong needed to be taken.
Too bad for him I wasn't interested.
Akihito shifted, drawing his attention. A spark of mischief arose in him, like it always seemed to when the boy was around. "Takaba Akihito!" he said sternly, "Are you sleeping in class again?"
Akihito sat straight up, his eyes wide and confused, his hair sticking up on one side. "Huh? Whuh? No, no, I was thinking about the discussion- it was really fascin..." he blinked, turning his head slowly to take in his surroundings, until his eyes returned to Asami's and narrowed. "... nating. You jerk! I thought I was back in my science class and getting reamed by the teacher." He roughly rubbed his hands back and forth through his hair, then tried to wiggle off Asami's lap.
Asami fondly tightened his grip. "You're just too adorable when you try to get away. As if you could succeed." He almost laughed at the glare he received, but he held himself back to a smile. No sense pushing him too much.
Akihito had stilled, and was staring at him. "That's the second time."
"For what?"
"For you smiling at me. It's weird."
Asami stopped smiling.
"No, don't do that! It's not weird in a bad way. I like it. I'm just not used to it." He reached out and gently touched Asami's lips with his fingertips. "Do it again..."
He looked down at the boy, perplexed. "I can't just smile on demand. There has to be a reason."
Akihito's brows drew together. "What, you can't think of one? What just made you smile?"
He snorted, thinking of the glare, not about to explain that.
"Hey, that's almost a smile," Akihito said softly. "How about this?" He tilted his head up and pressed a soft kiss to Asami's lips.
His heart thudded, and an ache grew. He'd almost lost this without ever knowing it. "Takaba..."
"You called me Akihito last night."
"I said a lot of things last night."
The body in his arms stiffened slightly. "Are you saying you didn't mean them?"
"No," he said quietly, "I meant every one."
"Asami..." This time when Akihito moved forward into a kiss he met him, twining his fingers through the silky-soft brown hair. Akihito's kisses were sweet in their hesitance, inexperienced almost, and it aroused him far more than any practiced kiss could have.
They broke for a moment and Akihito stared up at him with confused eyes, yearning eyes. He framed the young face in his large hands, cradling it gently as if it were the most precious of treasures, which it was to him.
Don't ever change, he thought, but he knew too that change is what had brought them to this point and he could only feel pleasure at that.
Akihito's face lit with a sweet smile. "There, you see, you're doing it again."
The muscles on his face weren't quite used to that particular exercise, but he thought that they too should get used to the change, for he had a feeling it might be happening a good deal more in the future.
But for now he relaxed back into his typical blank expression, slipping it on like a favorite shirt. The glare he received made it even better.
"You did that on purpose. I'm not going to point it out again, so you can't erase it."
"You think I won't know if I smile?"
"I think that you not knowing is the only way you can smile."
Asami shrugged slightly. "Maybe. If it's meant to be it will come more naturally. What are you looking at now?"
Akihito was staring at him, bemused. "I'd never noticed that about you."
"What? Am I going to be subject to these kinds of inspections regularly? Because I have a few of my own I'd like to perform in exchange."
"Pervert."
"Pervertee."
A snort escaped from the boy, puffing his bangs out before they fell softly across his forehead again. Asami's fingers brushed them aside. He liked seeing the eyes that were under them.
"What hadn't you noticed?"
"How you just seem to accept things about life. I always saw you as someone more rigid, but you're not, are you?"
"There are some things that just happen and can't be prevented. There are many others that just are and that I see no point in changing. There are only a few things that are worth fighting, and fighting for." He was looking at one.
That one was looking back at him and blushing. "You're saying some gooey things lately."
He bent his head and whispered. "I'm being honest. Do you want lies? I can't do that, Akihito. I'll give you whatever you want, as long as there's honesty between us."
Akihito shoved at him a little. "I don't want you to give me things."
"I know. That's why I enjoy giving them to you."
"You're weird. And I don't want lies. I had enough of that with Feilong."
Feilong? "What did he say?" That came out more harshly than he'd wanted.
The scowl on his face must have been daunting, because Akihito hesitated before speaking. "A lot of things. That you couldn't love someone, that two men couldn't have love between them. That you two were alike. But you're nothing alike!"
"Aren't we?" He knew it well. But he wanted to make sure Akihito really understood this. "Even though we're in similar businesses?"
"Yeah, well McDonald's and Firehouse Café both serve burgers but that doesn't make them the same."
"I do hope you're comparing me to the café and him to the clown," Asami said dryly.
Akihito giggled. "I'm going to Photoshop him with Ronald McDonald hair and send it to Tao."
"Brat. I'll send flowers to your funeral." He flicked a finger against the younger man's forehead. "Listen to me. So long as he leaves us alone, I want him left alone. You've achieved what an army of my men were unable to do for seven years. Let's not push it." He leaned his head back against the seat and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts traveling back seven years. "Feilong is a complicated man. You should have learned that. Complicated and volatile. He needs time to grow out of some things. Let's give it to him."
"Grow out of what things? His infatuation with you?" Akihito questioned, sounding none too pleased.
He recollected himself and looked back down, surprised that Akihito had seen that, curious about what was going through that head in front of him. He spoke cautiously. "Partly. Feilong has to get past his need for outside approval. I'd have thought he'd have developed some self-confidence by now, but instead it grew in the direction of arrogance. He's playing with the big boys, but still over-reaches out of temper and pride. He yearns for someone to put a stamp of approval on him. First his father, then me. He has to learn that the only approval he needs is his own."
Akihito's eyes had been downcast through all of this. "He's pretty lonely. I mean, that's no excuse for what he did. But still, I got the feeling he wanted a friend."
"I won't allow it."
"I wasn't asking. For one thing I don't need your permission to make friends. For another, well, I don't really want to be his friend. He's too dangerous. His mood swings scare the hell out of me."
Akihito's face could never hide the truth from him. He meant what he was saying. Something tight uncurled within him. "Good. He's floundering a bit, but will find his feet and come out better for it in the long run."
"You want to see him succeed..."
"I never wanted anything else."
Akihito's eyes narrowed.
"For Feilong. You're a jealous little thing all of a sudden, aren't you?" He pulled Akihito close again. "Haven't you learned anything from all this? You've watched me for over a year now. Do I make a habit of running around the world rescuing lovers? Giving up millions of yen in the process? Getting shot? Having my suits destroyed?" he teased, "And above all else, having to play cards with that insufferable Mikhail Arbatov?"
"Who's that?"
"Who's....?" Asami burst into laughter. He couldn't remember when he'd last done that, and it made the years fall away. Still chuckling, he rested his head on his hand and watched his young lover, who seemed to be torn between frustration and amusement. "Only you, my dear Akihito, could cause such waves through East Asian criminal syndicates and have no idea who the key players are."
"I'm not an idiot," Akihito said grumpily.
"No, you're not. You're just woefully naïve." He saw a scowl beginning to form. "And that's not a bad thing, so long as you're aware of it and you try to ask the advice of someone who knows better, before running off on one of your harebrained schemes. I only have so many billions to buy you out of trouble, you know."
"You..."
"...generous, charming man? I'm so glad you've finally seen the light and can adore me as is my due."
Akihito shook his head. "You're just going to run all over me, aren't you?"
Asami looked at him a moment, until he sensed what was behind the words. "I didn't come down here so we could pick up where we left off in Tokyo. And you don't want that either, do you?"
"It's all changed."
"Ah, it has. For the better, don't you agree?"
"I don't know. I've never felt anything like this before. Asami..." His brown hair fell across his eyes again as he looked down to where their hands loosely touched, "I feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm standing in your shadow and it's so big I can't find my way out. It's stupid, I know. But-"
Asami touched his fingertips to Akihito's lips, silencing him. "I'm willing to be an island you can stand upon."
His hand was impatiently brushed aside. "You've done too much already!"
"If I'd thought that, I'd have stopped. Yet here I am."
"I can't..."
"You can. If I believed any less of you, I'd never have bothered with you. If you don't have confidence in yourself, at least have confidence in me."
"You know I do," Akihito said quietly. "You're the only thing I could count on."
Asami couldn't help thinking back to a few weeks earlier, when hearing the opposite from that same mouth had sent him into a cold rage. It seemed like ancient history. "Then trust me now. Stay with me until you get your bearings again." Not that I'll let you go once you have.
"I need some space..."
"You can have the apartment next to mine. I own it. It's empty." Or it will be once I kick the current occupants out. And build a door between the two.
"N-no. I don't think that would be a good idea. Nothing permanent like that. I'll just stay with you until I figure out what's going on with my life. Heck I've probably been evicted by now."
"You have, actually." Asami could have paid all his bills, but thought it more convenient not to. "I thought you'd get annoyed if I interfered, so I didn't. I did, however, place all your possessions into a high-security storage for as long as you like. I'll get the key for you when we get home."
"I don't know what to say... Thank you."
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He should have felt embarrassed for accepting thanks when he'd only acted selfishly, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Nothing mattered except binding Akihito to his side. Besides, a grateful Akihito just did something to his libido. Asami's head dipped lower, but Akihito blushed and pulled back.
"We're on a plane..."
"So we are. Last night we were on a boat."
They stared at each other a moment, then Akihito looked away. "I need to go to the restroom."
He considered pushing it, but decided it wasn't necessary. They'd be home soon, Akihito living with him, permanently, whether he liked it or not. He'd allow him small freedoms, so long as things were moving in the right direction. He loosened his grip. "I see. Would you like me to join you?"
"What!? No! Pervert. No." Akihito jumped off his lap, and he let him go.
"Your hand is recovering. I could hold Aki-chan for you."
"I'm locking the door!" Akihito stomped down the aisle as Asami bit back a smile. There would be time for him to get used to the idea. Now they had all the time in the world.
----
Akihito examined his face in the restroom mirror as he washed his hands. His eyes critically looked over his hair, noting the dark brown roots coming in. But that was something he could fix. The rest... to be honest, he had to admit it didn't look all that different. It felt so different though. The eyes staring back at him seemed a bit more sober than they used to be.
He wasn't ready for this, but he had no choice. And really, trying to stay honest, he admitted that he wouldn't have made another choice. He wasn't ready, but he wasn't going to run away again. It wasn't that he owed Asami, though he did. It's that he wanted him so intensely he shook with it. He'd almost embarrassed himself out there. It was childish, wasn't it? Not how a man should act, being so obsessed with someone? He was already getting hard again, only a minute after coming into his hand.
Maybe if he just got it out of his system. His mirror image smiled wryly. As if. That would never happen. Even if the sex wasn't great, and it always was, it wasn't just physical any more.
"I love Asami Ryuichi." He said it out loud but couldn't get used to the idea. "But I'm not going to let him walk all over me!"
He dried his hands and opened the door, surprised to see the guy with glasses leaning against the opposite wall, staring at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Have a nice conversation with yourself?"
He scowled, about to snap back, but then he noticed the lines of pain around the man's eyes and remembered why they were there. "I'm sorry. Do you need any help?"
The man shot him a withering look and pushed past him. "I think I can manage."
"W-wait!" He stuck his hand out, gently grasping the other's arm. "Maybe this isn't the best moment, but I wanted to thank you for all you did. I didn't want that to happen."
"I didn't do it for you."
"I... I know. But you saved me. And I thought he'd killed you." He recalled the hopelessness he'd felt. "I... I took your gun. And shot him. I was so angry that he'd hurt you!"
The eyes behind the glasses softened a little. "I know you did. I'm glad of it. So, you see, we're even."
He felt his eyes filling with tears. "It's not about being even! It's about not letting people you care about get hurt."
The touch of a hand on his had him blinking back the tears in surprise.
"Takaba Akihito. My name is Kirishima Kei. I will endeavor to see that neither one of us is hurt in the future. Now go to him, because I think he's the one that both of us want to protect most. He doesn't think he needs it, but the two of us know better, don't we?"
Akihito looked, really looked at the man before him and understood what he alone had been given, and the silent plea not to screw it up. Something new in him responded to it, and he nodded.
"Yes, we do. Don't worry, Kirishima-san. It's important to me, too." He walked back to his seat, more confident now, understanding himself a little better as well, knowing that he'd grown up a bit.
--
Asami was staring out the airplane's window at the endless expanse of clouds and sky. He glanced over as Akihito threw himself into the seat next to him and leaned close, looking at the same view.
"It's pretty, isn't it? So peaceful. Anyone looking down wouldn't believe all the crap that goes on underneath the clouds."
"Your trip to the restroom has made you philosophical. Is that what you were doing for so long? Sitting and thinking?"
The boy blushed. "Some." His chin rose. "And I was trying to get you out of my system."
"Did it work?"
"No." This was accompanied by a rueful smile. "Even if I could, I just ended up realizing that wasn't what I wanted after all."
Asami leaned back and closed his eyes, not sure what had happened back there, but satisfied with it. "Good," he murmured.
"Huh?"
"Nothing."
"Asami..."
"Hmm?"
"We're on a plane."
"This sounds familiar."
"Last night we were on a boat."
A soft pair of lips brushed against his. He opened his eyes to see earnest brown ones looking up at him, and he smiled and took his lover into his arms.
It had been a long road that had brought them to where they were, and they still had a distance to go. But, Asami thought, now that they were traveling toward each other they'd reach their goal much faster. And as Akihito again stretched upward to kiss him, he lowered his lips, meeting him halfway.
~end~
Pairing: Asami x Takaba
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: NT
Disclaimer: These characters and Naked Truth belong to Yamane Ayano.
I owe a couple of dear friends fics for their birthdays, but since I write very slowly and seldom these days, I hope they don't mind sharing one. Happy birthday Kat and Mar-chan! ^__^
(and yes, I'm still working on a Feilong fic or two...^^)
The cabin of the Bombardier Challenger was quiet as they reached cruising altitude. He could barely feel the vibration of the engines.
As it should be, considering what I paid for it, he thought with some satisfaction.
He glanced to his right where Akihito had already managed to curl up like a puppy and fall asleep, and allowed himself a small smile. It was no wonder he was exhausted, after their love-making on the boat.
He paused for a moment and contemplated that, for love-making it was, a first for them. It had been... extremely satisfying. Not the fucking, though after four weeks of nothing but his hand he could have fucked anything that moved. But it wouldn't have given him what he needed, which wasn't just pleasure and orgasm. It was pleasure and orgasm and touch and taste and all his senses filled with Akihito.
A soft sleepy snort came from the young man at his side. He reached over and unbuckled Akihito's seat-belt, lifting him onto his lap, taking care not to awaken him.
But even he hadn't expected what awaited him when Akihito had come to his senses on the deck of the ship, the boy rolling over and looking at him with startled eyes. He'd stilled, as always, ready to throw that wall of cool disinterest up between them at the first sign of rejection. But it hadn't come. Instead, Akihito had thrown himself forward in tears, clutching at him, telling him he'd been waiting for him, wringing a rare apology out of Asami. And Akihito had demanded that he take responsibility.
He chuckled softly, startled a moment later when Kirishima, across the aisle, dropped a file and stared at him in surprise.
"Asami-sama?" Kirishima quietly inquired.
Asami shook his head and raised a finger to his mouth in command, glancing down at the still-sleeping Akihito, then back up at his assistant, whose lips tightened slightly. Kirishima started to turn away.
"Kirishima."
The man stopped turning, but didn't turn back. "Yes, Asami-sama?"
"He is important to me."
"I am aware of that. But you're losing your perspective."
"You will treat him with respect."
"I took a bullet for him." The voice was accusatory.
Asami gentled his. "I know you did, and I hope you know how valuable you are to me. Nonetheless, you will not question me in this."
Kirishima turned back and bowed, stiffly. "Yes, Asami-sama."
"I don't require that you like it. I do require that you obey." The stubborn man before him didn't relent. "Kei. He is my life."
The shoulders before him fell. "Yes, Asami-sama." Finally meaning it.
"Why not take a break? This has been hard on you. Use one of the bedrooms."
Kirishima nodded, and in his exhaustion limped slowly down the aisle toward the back of the plane.
Akihito was still oblivious. Well, that wasn't a surprise. Anyone who could sleep through part of one of his fucks wasn't going to wake up at a conversation.
Conversation...
They'd actually talked last night. Really talked. No games, no lies, just honest thoughts and feelings.
Again, it had caught him off guard. He'd expected Akihito to revert to par after getting away from Feilong. But he'd sat and talked, not making excuses, just telling Asami what had happened and how he felt about it. Maybe it was because of what Asami had told him on the ship. He'd felt how shocked the boy had been when Asami told him of the hold he had on his heart, but then he'd relaxed into Asami like it was a dream.
Then once they were away Akihito had tried, for the first time, to connect, and succeeded. And for the first time in years, he'd felt the need to reciprocate with someone, and opened.
After that, he'd needed to ground himself in reality. They both had. Their sex had been wrenching, painful to the two of them, in more ways than one. He knew he'd hurt Akihito. He knew too, that Akihito had in some way needed that pain, because too much pleasure would have only made it seem more dreamlike. When Akihito had clamped hard around him in orgasm he'd felt it too, raw, his feelings open and bleeding like a wound, flowing freely. He couldn't have stopped it if he'd wanted. But for once he hadn't wanted to.
They'd made love. Though they hadn't really made the love. The love had already been there. It had arisen early, though neither had recognized it, grown from who knows what between them. Perhaps it was fate. He just hadn't expected it. It had never been a problem before. Sex was just a past-time, not a commitment. But even though he'd always chosen prickly partners, cute men and women who'd argued and fought and needed to be tamed, Akihito had stood out.
Maybe it was that core of integrity. But then, he'd had honest men before. There'd been Zhu, in Hong Kong - his police officer, Asami reminisced fondly. He'd refused to betray the one who held his loyalty. Luckily his loyalty had been Asami's when he'd fallen in love. But while Asami had thought kindly of him, he hadn't loved in return. He had been only momentarily saddened when Yoh had passed along news of his death in a car accident some four years later.
Perhaps it was Akihito's fire? There too, Akihito wasn't alone. Umi had been almost too wild for him. She'd matched him at a time when he was young and rising through the ranks, but she'd let drugs in and lost any semblance of control. Her overdosing had been a mercy for them both.
Akihito snorted softly against his neck, still sleeping, but breaking his chain of thoughts. Chain indeed, lost in the past like an old man.
"Takaba. Oi, wake up."
He shook the boy on his lap slightly.
"Go 'way," Akihito mumbled. "It's Tao's turn to take out the trash..."
Trash? he thought with amusement.
And who was Tao? That's right, Feilong's boy. He'd probably end up in Feilong's bed someday, since the man was unwilling to admit that he wanted to have a daddy figure rather than be one. Then again, who was supposed to take that job on? Mikhail Arbatov? A childish Russian used to getting what he wanted. Yoh? Too timid to make a single move in seven years. He might get around to asking for a date by the time they were seventy. Feilong needed to be taken.
Too bad for him I wasn't interested.
Akihito shifted, drawing his attention. A spark of mischief arose in him, like it always seemed to when the boy was around. "Takaba Akihito!" he said sternly, "Are you sleeping in class again?"
Akihito sat straight up, his eyes wide and confused, his hair sticking up on one side. "Huh? Whuh? No, no, I was thinking about the discussion- it was really fascin..." he blinked, turning his head slowly to take in his surroundings, until his eyes returned to Asami's and narrowed. "... nating. You jerk! I thought I was back in my science class and getting reamed by the teacher." He roughly rubbed his hands back and forth through his hair, then tried to wiggle off Asami's lap.
Asami fondly tightened his grip. "You're just too adorable when you try to get away. As if you could succeed." He almost laughed at the glare he received, but he held himself back to a smile. No sense pushing him too much.
Akihito had stilled, and was staring at him. "That's the second time."
"For what?"
"For you smiling at me. It's weird."
Asami stopped smiling.
"No, don't do that! It's not weird in a bad way. I like it. I'm just not used to it." He reached out and gently touched Asami's lips with his fingertips. "Do it again..."
He looked down at the boy, perplexed. "I can't just smile on demand. There has to be a reason."
Akihito's brows drew together. "What, you can't think of one? What just made you smile?"
He snorted, thinking of the glare, not about to explain that.
"Hey, that's almost a smile," Akihito said softly. "How about this?" He tilted his head up and pressed a soft kiss to Asami's lips.
His heart thudded, and an ache grew. He'd almost lost this without ever knowing it. "Takaba..."
"You called me Akihito last night."
"I said a lot of things last night."
The body in his arms stiffened slightly. "Are you saying you didn't mean them?"
"No," he said quietly, "I meant every one."
"Asami..." This time when Akihito moved forward into a kiss he met him, twining his fingers through the silky-soft brown hair. Akihito's kisses were sweet in their hesitance, inexperienced almost, and it aroused him far more than any practiced kiss could have.
They broke for a moment and Akihito stared up at him with confused eyes, yearning eyes. He framed the young face in his large hands, cradling it gently as if it were the most precious of treasures, which it was to him.
Don't ever change, he thought, but he knew too that change is what had brought them to this point and he could only feel pleasure at that.
Akihito's face lit with a sweet smile. "There, you see, you're doing it again."
The muscles on his face weren't quite used to that particular exercise, but he thought that they too should get used to the change, for he had a feeling it might be happening a good deal more in the future.
But for now he relaxed back into his typical blank expression, slipping it on like a favorite shirt. The glare he received made it even better.
"You did that on purpose. I'm not going to point it out again, so you can't erase it."
"You think I won't know if I smile?"
"I think that you not knowing is the only way you can smile."
Asami shrugged slightly. "Maybe. If it's meant to be it will come more naturally. What are you looking at now?"
Akihito was staring at him, bemused. "I'd never noticed that about you."
"What? Am I going to be subject to these kinds of inspections regularly? Because I have a few of my own I'd like to perform in exchange."
"Pervert."
"Pervertee."
A snort escaped from the boy, puffing his bangs out before they fell softly across his forehead again. Asami's fingers brushed them aside. He liked seeing the eyes that were under them.
"What hadn't you noticed?"
"How you just seem to accept things about life. I always saw you as someone more rigid, but you're not, are you?"
"There are some things that just happen and can't be prevented. There are many others that just are and that I see no point in changing. There are only a few things that are worth fighting, and fighting for." He was looking at one.
That one was looking back at him and blushing. "You're saying some gooey things lately."
He bent his head and whispered. "I'm being honest. Do you want lies? I can't do that, Akihito. I'll give you whatever you want, as long as there's honesty between us."
Akihito shoved at him a little. "I don't want you to give me things."
"I know. That's why I enjoy giving them to you."
"You're weird. And I don't want lies. I had enough of that with Feilong."
Feilong? "What did he say?" That came out more harshly than he'd wanted.
The scowl on his face must have been daunting, because Akihito hesitated before speaking. "A lot of things. That you couldn't love someone, that two men couldn't have love between them. That you two were alike. But you're nothing alike!"
"Aren't we?" He knew it well. But he wanted to make sure Akihito really understood this. "Even though we're in similar businesses?"
"Yeah, well McDonald's and Firehouse Café both serve burgers but that doesn't make them the same."
"I do hope you're comparing me to the café and him to the clown," Asami said dryly.
Akihito giggled. "I'm going to Photoshop him with Ronald McDonald hair and send it to Tao."
"Brat. I'll send flowers to your funeral." He flicked a finger against the younger man's forehead. "Listen to me. So long as he leaves us alone, I want him left alone. You've achieved what an army of my men were unable to do for seven years. Let's not push it." He leaned his head back against the seat and stared at the ceiling, his thoughts traveling back seven years. "Feilong is a complicated man. You should have learned that. Complicated and volatile. He needs time to grow out of some things. Let's give it to him."
"Grow out of what things? His infatuation with you?" Akihito questioned, sounding none too pleased.
He recollected himself and looked back down, surprised that Akihito had seen that, curious about what was going through that head in front of him. He spoke cautiously. "Partly. Feilong has to get past his need for outside approval. I'd have thought he'd have developed some self-confidence by now, but instead it grew in the direction of arrogance. He's playing with the big boys, but still over-reaches out of temper and pride. He yearns for someone to put a stamp of approval on him. First his father, then me. He has to learn that the only approval he needs is his own."
Akihito's eyes had been downcast through all of this. "He's pretty lonely. I mean, that's no excuse for what he did. But still, I got the feeling he wanted a friend."
"I won't allow it."
"I wasn't asking. For one thing I don't need your permission to make friends. For another, well, I don't really want to be his friend. He's too dangerous. His mood swings scare the hell out of me."
Akihito's face could never hide the truth from him. He meant what he was saying. Something tight uncurled within him. "Good. He's floundering a bit, but will find his feet and come out better for it in the long run."
"You want to see him succeed..."
"I never wanted anything else."
Akihito's eyes narrowed.
"For Feilong. You're a jealous little thing all of a sudden, aren't you?" He pulled Akihito close again. "Haven't you learned anything from all this? You've watched me for over a year now. Do I make a habit of running around the world rescuing lovers? Giving up millions of yen in the process? Getting shot? Having my suits destroyed?" he teased, "And above all else, having to play cards with that insufferable Mikhail Arbatov?"
"Who's that?"
"Who's....?" Asami burst into laughter. He couldn't remember when he'd last done that, and it made the years fall away. Still chuckling, he rested his head on his hand and watched his young lover, who seemed to be torn between frustration and amusement. "Only you, my dear Akihito, could cause such waves through East Asian criminal syndicates and have no idea who the key players are."
"I'm not an idiot," Akihito said grumpily.
"No, you're not. You're just woefully naïve." He saw a scowl beginning to form. "And that's not a bad thing, so long as you're aware of it and you try to ask the advice of someone who knows better, before running off on one of your harebrained schemes. I only have so many billions to buy you out of trouble, you know."
"You..."
"...generous, charming man? I'm so glad you've finally seen the light and can adore me as is my due."
Akihito shook his head. "You're just going to run all over me, aren't you?"
Asami looked at him a moment, until he sensed what was behind the words. "I didn't come down here so we could pick up where we left off in Tokyo. And you don't want that either, do you?"
"It's all changed."
"Ah, it has. For the better, don't you agree?"
"I don't know. I've never felt anything like this before. Asami..." His brown hair fell across his eyes again as he looked down to where their hands loosely touched, "I feel like I'm drowning. Like I'm standing in your shadow and it's so big I can't find my way out. It's stupid, I know. But-"
Asami touched his fingertips to Akihito's lips, silencing him. "I'm willing to be an island you can stand upon."
His hand was impatiently brushed aside. "You've done too much already!"
"If I'd thought that, I'd have stopped. Yet here I am."
"I can't..."
"You can. If I believed any less of you, I'd never have bothered with you. If you don't have confidence in yourself, at least have confidence in me."
"You know I do," Akihito said quietly. "You're the only thing I could count on."
Asami couldn't help thinking back to a few weeks earlier, when hearing the opposite from that same mouth had sent him into a cold rage. It seemed like ancient history. "Then trust me now. Stay with me until you get your bearings again." Not that I'll let you go once you have.
"I need some space..."
"You can have the apartment next to mine. I own it. It's empty." Or it will be once I kick the current occupants out. And build a door between the two.
"N-no. I don't think that would be a good idea. Nothing permanent like that. I'll just stay with you until I figure out what's going on with my life. Heck I've probably been evicted by now."
"You have, actually." Asami could have paid all his bills, but thought it more convenient not to. "I thought you'd get annoyed if I interfered, so I didn't. I did, however, place all your possessions into a high-security storage for as long as you like. I'll get the key for you when we get home."
"I don't know what to say... Thank you."
"It's nothing. Don't worry about it." He should have felt embarrassed for accepting thanks when he'd only acted selfishly, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Nothing mattered except binding Akihito to his side. Besides, a grateful Akihito just did something to his libido. Asami's head dipped lower, but Akihito blushed and pulled back.
"We're on a plane..."
"So we are. Last night we were on a boat."
They stared at each other a moment, then Akihito looked away. "I need to go to the restroom."
He considered pushing it, but decided it wasn't necessary. They'd be home soon, Akihito living with him, permanently, whether he liked it or not. He'd allow him small freedoms, so long as things were moving in the right direction. He loosened his grip. "I see. Would you like me to join you?"
"What!? No! Pervert. No." Akihito jumped off his lap, and he let him go.
"Your hand is recovering. I could hold Aki-chan for you."
"I'm locking the door!" Akihito stomped down the aisle as Asami bit back a smile. There would be time for him to get used to the idea. Now they had all the time in the world.
----
Akihito examined his face in the restroom mirror as he washed his hands. His eyes critically looked over his hair, noting the dark brown roots coming in. But that was something he could fix. The rest... to be honest, he had to admit it didn't look all that different. It felt so different though. The eyes staring back at him seemed a bit more sober than they used to be.
He wasn't ready for this, but he had no choice. And really, trying to stay honest, he admitted that he wouldn't have made another choice. He wasn't ready, but he wasn't going to run away again. It wasn't that he owed Asami, though he did. It's that he wanted him so intensely he shook with it. He'd almost embarrassed himself out there. It was childish, wasn't it? Not how a man should act, being so obsessed with someone? He was already getting hard again, only a minute after coming into his hand.
Maybe if he just got it out of his system. His mirror image smiled wryly. As if. That would never happen. Even if the sex wasn't great, and it always was, it wasn't just physical any more.
"I love Asami Ryuichi." He said it out loud but couldn't get used to the idea. "But I'm not going to let him walk all over me!"
He dried his hands and opened the door, surprised to see the guy with glasses leaning against the opposite wall, staring at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Have a nice conversation with yourself?"
He scowled, about to snap back, but then he noticed the lines of pain around the man's eyes and remembered why they were there. "I'm sorry. Do you need any help?"
The man shot him a withering look and pushed past him. "I think I can manage."
"W-wait!" He stuck his hand out, gently grasping the other's arm. "Maybe this isn't the best moment, but I wanted to thank you for all you did. I didn't want that to happen."
"I didn't do it for you."
"I... I know. But you saved me. And I thought he'd killed you." He recalled the hopelessness he'd felt. "I... I took your gun. And shot him. I was so angry that he'd hurt you!"
The eyes behind the glasses softened a little. "I know you did. I'm glad of it. So, you see, we're even."
He felt his eyes filling with tears. "It's not about being even! It's about not letting people you care about get hurt."
The touch of a hand on his had him blinking back the tears in surprise.
"Takaba Akihito. My name is Kirishima Kei. I will endeavor to see that neither one of us is hurt in the future. Now go to him, because I think he's the one that both of us want to protect most. He doesn't think he needs it, but the two of us know better, don't we?"
Akihito looked, really looked at the man before him and understood what he alone had been given, and the silent plea not to screw it up. Something new in him responded to it, and he nodded.
"Yes, we do. Don't worry, Kirishima-san. It's important to me, too." He walked back to his seat, more confident now, understanding himself a little better as well, knowing that he'd grown up a bit.
--
Asami was staring out the airplane's window at the endless expanse of clouds and sky. He glanced over as Akihito threw himself into the seat next to him and leaned close, looking at the same view.
"It's pretty, isn't it? So peaceful. Anyone looking down wouldn't believe all the crap that goes on underneath the clouds."
"Your trip to the restroom has made you philosophical. Is that what you were doing for so long? Sitting and thinking?"
The boy blushed. "Some." His chin rose. "And I was trying to get you out of my system."
"Did it work?"
"No." This was accompanied by a rueful smile. "Even if I could, I just ended up realizing that wasn't what I wanted after all."
Asami leaned back and closed his eyes, not sure what had happened back there, but satisfied with it. "Good," he murmured.
"Huh?"
"Nothing."
"Asami..."
"Hmm?"
"We're on a plane."
"This sounds familiar."
"Last night we were on a boat."
A soft pair of lips brushed against his. He opened his eyes to see earnest brown ones looking up at him, and he smiled and took his lover into his arms.
It had been a long road that had brought them to where they were, and they still had a distance to go. But, Asami thought, now that they were traveling toward each other they'd reach their goal much faster. And as Akihito again stretched upward to kiss him, he lowered his lips, meeting him halfway.
~end~