[fic] VF AU: Moving On
Title: Moving On
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to NT10
Warnings: AU, takes place the night after NT 10, which I conveniently made the eighth anniversary of when Asami was last in town.
It would be nice if it could happen, so I'm giving it to Feilong for his birthday. :)
He didn't usually come up here but tonight he walked the heights of Hong Kong. He'd felt an urge ever since this morning to get away from the city, and up here at least there was a park, some trees, less concrete. But it did bring back memories, memories of a time eight years ago today.
His old house still stood there, empty. He'd had so many offers to sell it but something wouldn't let him. He flitted across the gardens, a black shadow on a black background, no one noticing. His key slipped into the door in back, and it opened smoothly and silently. Carpets covered any sounds his steps would have made as he crossed the room.
His favorite chair still sat by the window, where he'd loved to read every morning. It was covered with sheets though, as was all the furniture. Giving his ghosts form, he thought.
Yan had never come here. He hadn't been invited. His father had never come either, and hadn't questioned him when he bought the villa at such a young age. Most boys get apartments of their own. He had used part of his small fortune to buy this house, a getaway from all that troubled him.
It had been his small paradise. Then he'd ruined it by inviting the snake in.
He walked across the hall to another room, a bedroom. Here too, dusty sheets were on top of everything.
A jerk of his hand pulled the one from the bed. It was stripped bare, just as he had been lying there all those years ago.
Pain welled up in him. What a fool he was, coming back here. What had he hoped, to lay his ghosts to rest?
There was a step behind him. "Feilong. You couldn't resist either."
He spun about in disbelief. "You. Here?"
Ordinarily he would have gone for his gun, but tonight, this night, in this room he could not.
Asami stepped forward into the moonlight. He'd changed little.
Still perfectly beautiful. He realized he'd spoken aloud.
Asami's head tilted slightly. "I was thinking the same thing."
All his anguish poured out in one question. "Why? Why did it have to happen?" He suddenly felt ashamed at his childishness, and held up his hand before Asami could answer. "Never mind. That's a foolish question."
Asami's gaze didn't waver. "Not foolish. But there are no real answers."
"Then why did you come here? There must at least be an answer to that one."
A flick of Asami's lighter briefly lit the room, revealing an impassive face over the cigarette he was lighting. "Probably for the same reason you did. It's a night for the memories that live here. And as you know, I was in town."
That last was delivered with heavy sarcasm.
Feilong crossed to the window and looked over the front lawn. The moonlight made it seem like they'd entered another world. "Aren't you going to ask about Akihito?"
He heard exhaling directly behind him, and smelled the smoke. He willed his body not to turn.
"What would be the point? I will get him back, if I have to take you and your organization apart to do it. It doesn't matter what's been done to him."
Feilong shook his head. "Maybe not to you, but it does to him. Look, you might not have grown up, but I have. Akihito wants to go home. I intend to let him. He's been put through enough by both of us."
The voice was next to his ear. He felt a warm breath there. "Still soft, I see. First for your father, now for a hostage. How very sweet."
That made him angry. He turned, shoving Asami backwards, enjoying the look of surprise on the man's face. "Still hard as nails, I see, loving no one, caring for no one, not being brave enough to risk exposing emotions even to the ones who love you. How very pitiful."
His scorn dripped from his words. "You told me once that you didn't let emotions get in the way. But that's just another way of copping out, isn't it? Emotions are part of being human, Asami. They're a part of life. I loved my father. I care for my servants. And I care for Akihito and let him know it. That's more than you've ever done. I asked him to stay with me, Asami. To stay as my friend and lover. I'm not afraid of that side of me, because I know I need it to be happy."
The eyes before him were hard and cold. "And are you happy?"
"Sometimes. Not all the time. Disappointment hurts. Loneliness hurts. But the times between make up for it, rare as they are. And the fact that I know I am not afraid to be a man, as you are, that makes it even better. Where is your courage?"
"My courage is intact. And Akihito? Is he, after what you've done?"
"I thought he didn't matter to you."
"I'm here, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are, and that threw me. Until I realized that it wasn't for him that you came, but for your pride."
Asami said nothing for a moment. He just dropped his cigarette to the carpet and ground it out against the expensive silk fibers. Then he looked up. "You really piss me off. It's your damned emotions that caused all of this in the first place. You can't control them, and you tell me that's what life is about? Just what about your temper tantrums is to be admired? From where I stand, it's done nothing but cause a hell of a big problem for quite a few of us."
Feilong's fist shot out and grazed the side of Asami's jaw. Asami had expected it, and dodged, grabbing Feilong's wrist. But Feilong was stronger than he used to be, and broke Asami's hold, using his leverage to throw him onto the bed.
Asami stilled, then raised himself up on his elbows and smirked. "Just where you want me, hmmm?"
Feilong stalked over to the bed. His eyes raked along Asami's form. He'd dreamed of this moment for so long. The blood was pounding through him.
He crawled onto the mattress, moving slowly up the body he'd long fantasized about, letting his hair drag along the suit Asami always wore like armor. With hands on either side of Asami's head, he lowered himself until his mouth was mere centimeters from the lips he remembered so well. He held himself there, wondering why he didn't want to go further. Until he realized that those lips no longer held any attraction for him. His blood stopped pounding and he laughed.
"What's so funny?" Asami's voice was soft, and a little strange.
"That the only reason I'd kiss you now is to see if I could taste Akihito on your lips. But why bother when I have the real thing at home?"
"You son of a bitch." He found himself on his back, Asami crouched over him. "Maybe I'll do the same." And Asami's lips came down hard on his, his tongue pushing into his mouth, stroking him, trying to coax a response. But it left him cold. After a minute of this, Asami pulled back, his eyes narrowing, and he sat up next to Feilong. "You weren't kidding."
Feilong rose into sitting position and scrubbed his lips with his sleeve. "No. I don't need someone like you anymore. Akihito taught me that."
Asami looked over at him. "I won't let you have him."
Feilong returned the stare. "It's for him to decide. And I'll make sure his decision is respected."
Asami smirked. "He'll choose me."
Feilong shrugged. "Will he? Who knows? He might choose someone who's willing to care."
"Why would he want someone who raped him?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
That earned him a soft laugh.
"I was wrong. You have changed, Feilong."
He bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement. He had changed, but he wouldn't let the arrogant Japanese know how very recent some changes had been. "And you have not changed a bit."
Asami shifted on the bed. "You're wrong, you know."
He glanced over, surprised.
Asami continued, "You say I'm afraid to feel emotions, but you're wrong. I feel them, as strongly as anyone. I just can't afford to let them rule me."
Feilong heard some pain behind that, and was unexpectedly moved. "Even for him? He loves you so. He wouldn't use you, you know. And he'd never betray anyone he cared for."
Asami laughed. "He betrayed me a few weeks ago. What does that tell you?"
He shook his head. "He knew you could take care of yourself, while his friends could not. He thought he had no choice. But I've seen his eyes change while he was here. His time with me.... I could see the light dawning in his eyes. That damned shirt...."
Asami turned questioning eyes upon him.
"It's covered in your blood. He sleeps with it. It's disgusting."
It looked like a little smile played around Asami's lips. "So he turned down your offer."
Annoyed, his hair flew as he tossed his head. "For now. But maybe he'll change his mind. It's an open offer. You'd best take care or he'll hop on the first plane down here."
"I'll not share him."
"You may not have a choice."
They glared at each other, and Feilong felt his lips begin to twitch. He couldn't help it. He fell back on the bed, laughing.
"What's so funny now?"
"De Nial." He laughed more. "Oh you wouldn't get it, it's an Americanism."
"I speak English."
"De Nial ain't just a river in Egypt."
"Only Americans would come up with something so unfunny. And only you would repeat it."
Feilong stopped laughing and sat up again. "You're just mad because it's true. That's alright. I won't tell your secret. For now."
"You can tell anyone you'd like. No one would believe you."
Feilong got off the bed, brushing some dust from his clothes. "You've got a point." He looked around the room. "This place needs to be lived in again. I think I'll open it up. Maybe show Akihito the rooms he could have if he stayed."
Asami too stood. "Nice try. Show him where he could hang the shirt on the wall where he could look at it around the clock."
Bastard. "Tomorrow night, 8:00 pm, come here for dinner. Bring the deed. If Akihito wants to, he may leave with you."
Asami stood there silently. "And so you just want me to let this all go."
Feilong stood tall. "Why not? It's what I'm doing with that incident eight years past. I'm man enough. Are you?"
Asami seemed a little smaller, but just for a second. "As long as he's not been harmed, I will consider it."
He couldn't resist the sarcasm. "How generous of you. And do you intend to leave Yoh behind as a souvenir?"
The face across from him blanked of all expression. "I have no idea what you mean."
He lied. "Give it up. I've known from the beginning. He only heard what I wanted him to. The whole deed idea was to give you an out, so I'd have reason to let Akihito go. But I'm tired of the man's dour face. He never smiles."
"It's probably because his true love doesn't even notice him." This time Asami's voice was the sarcastic one.
"Who is ... ?"
Clearly amused, Asami just stared at him.
"You can't be serious. Oh, that's all I need. Fine, if you wanted retribution, that's plenty."
"I think it's possible that we may both be satisfied come tomorrow night. "
Feilong paused, searching his feelings a moment before answering. He was surprised that he could answer as he did. "Yes. I think maybe I will be. At least as far as this goes. Why torment myself for answers where there are none? But I still dislike you immensely." He strode toward the door. "Well, I think I'll have Akihito take care of me for one more night. I may as well make it one that lasts."
At Asami's sudden glare, he continued as he left the room. "Oh for... I'm joking, of course. Get a sense of humor. Maybe I'll jump Yoh. It would be interesting to see if he had more than one facial expression. I can introduce him to his new position as house uke. At least you provided a replacement."
He heard Asami laugh as he followed behind, the annoying prick. Abandoning his men, like he did his lover. Well, not quite the latter. But still. I hope Akihito doesn't regret it. He can always come back if he does.
He glanced at the other rooms in passing as he continued down the hall. All of this would be cleared of sheets and dust tomorrow morning. It's time, Father.
It was time to open the windows and let a fresh breeze sweep the cobwebs clear.
It was time to put the past behind him and start anew.
It was time to come home.
~end~
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: up to NT10
Warnings: AU, takes place the night after NT 10, which I conveniently made the eighth anniversary of when Asami was last in town.
It would be nice if it could happen, so I'm giving it to Feilong for his birthday. :)
He didn't usually come up here but tonight he walked the heights of Hong Kong. He'd felt an urge ever since this morning to get away from the city, and up here at least there was a park, some trees, less concrete. But it did bring back memories, memories of a time eight years ago today.
His old house still stood there, empty. He'd had so many offers to sell it but something wouldn't let him. He flitted across the gardens, a black shadow on a black background, no one noticing. His key slipped into the door in back, and it opened smoothly and silently. Carpets covered any sounds his steps would have made as he crossed the room.
His favorite chair still sat by the window, where he'd loved to read every morning. It was covered with sheets though, as was all the furniture. Giving his ghosts form, he thought.
Yan had never come here. He hadn't been invited. His father had never come either, and hadn't questioned him when he bought the villa at such a young age. Most boys get apartments of their own. He had used part of his small fortune to buy this house, a getaway from all that troubled him.
It had been his small paradise. Then he'd ruined it by inviting the snake in.
He walked across the hall to another room, a bedroom. Here too, dusty sheets were on top of everything.
A jerk of his hand pulled the one from the bed. It was stripped bare, just as he had been lying there all those years ago.
Pain welled up in him. What a fool he was, coming back here. What had he hoped, to lay his ghosts to rest?
There was a step behind him. "Feilong. You couldn't resist either."
He spun about in disbelief. "You. Here?"
Ordinarily he would have gone for his gun, but tonight, this night, in this room he could not.
Asami stepped forward into the moonlight. He'd changed little.
Still perfectly beautiful. He realized he'd spoken aloud.
Asami's head tilted slightly. "I was thinking the same thing."
All his anguish poured out in one question. "Why? Why did it have to happen?" He suddenly felt ashamed at his childishness, and held up his hand before Asami could answer. "Never mind. That's a foolish question."
Asami's gaze didn't waver. "Not foolish. But there are no real answers."
"Then why did you come here? There must at least be an answer to that one."
A flick of Asami's lighter briefly lit the room, revealing an impassive face over the cigarette he was lighting. "Probably for the same reason you did. It's a night for the memories that live here. And as you know, I was in town."
That last was delivered with heavy sarcasm.
Feilong crossed to the window and looked over the front lawn. The moonlight made it seem like they'd entered another world. "Aren't you going to ask about Akihito?"
He heard exhaling directly behind him, and smelled the smoke. He willed his body not to turn.
"What would be the point? I will get him back, if I have to take you and your organization apart to do it. It doesn't matter what's been done to him."
Feilong shook his head. "Maybe not to you, but it does to him. Look, you might not have grown up, but I have. Akihito wants to go home. I intend to let him. He's been put through enough by both of us."
The voice was next to his ear. He felt a warm breath there. "Still soft, I see. First for your father, now for a hostage. How very sweet."
That made him angry. He turned, shoving Asami backwards, enjoying the look of surprise on the man's face. "Still hard as nails, I see, loving no one, caring for no one, not being brave enough to risk exposing emotions even to the ones who love you. How very pitiful."
His scorn dripped from his words. "You told me once that you didn't let emotions get in the way. But that's just another way of copping out, isn't it? Emotions are part of being human, Asami. They're a part of life. I loved my father. I care for my servants. And I care for Akihito and let him know it. That's more than you've ever done. I asked him to stay with me, Asami. To stay as my friend and lover. I'm not afraid of that side of me, because I know I need it to be happy."
The eyes before him were hard and cold. "And are you happy?"
"Sometimes. Not all the time. Disappointment hurts. Loneliness hurts. But the times between make up for it, rare as they are. And the fact that I know I am not afraid to be a man, as you are, that makes it even better. Where is your courage?"
"My courage is intact. And Akihito? Is he, after what you've done?"
"I thought he didn't matter to you."
"I'm here, aren't I?"
"Yes, you are, and that threw me. Until I realized that it wasn't for him that you came, but for your pride."
Asami said nothing for a moment. He just dropped his cigarette to the carpet and ground it out against the expensive silk fibers. Then he looked up. "You really piss me off. It's your damned emotions that caused all of this in the first place. You can't control them, and you tell me that's what life is about? Just what about your temper tantrums is to be admired? From where I stand, it's done nothing but cause a hell of a big problem for quite a few of us."
Feilong's fist shot out and grazed the side of Asami's jaw. Asami had expected it, and dodged, grabbing Feilong's wrist. But Feilong was stronger than he used to be, and broke Asami's hold, using his leverage to throw him onto the bed.
Asami stilled, then raised himself up on his elbows and smirked. "Just where you want me, hmmm?"
Feilong stalked over to the bed. His eyes raked along Asami's form. He'd dreamed of this moment for so long. The blood was pounding through him.
He crawled onto the mattress, moving slowly up the body he'd long fantasized about, letting his hair drag along the suit Asami always wore like armor. With hands on either side of Asami's head, he lowered himself until his mouth was mere centimeters from the lips he remembered so well. He held himself there, wondering why he didn't want to go further. Until he realized that those lips no longer held any attraction for him. His blood stopped pounding and he laughed.
"What's so funny?" Asami's voice was soft, and a little strange.
"That the only reason I'd kiss you now is to see if I could taste Akihito on your lips. But why bother when I have the real thing at home?"
"You son of a bitch." He found himself on his back, Asami crouched over him. "Maybe I'll do the same." And Asami's lips came down hard on his, his tongue pushing into his mouth, stroking him, trying to coax a response. But it left him cold. After a minute of this, Asami pulled back, his eyes narrowing, and he sat up next to Feilong. "You weren't kidding."
Feilong rose into sitting position and scrubbed his lips with his sleeve. "No. I don't need someone like you anymore. Akihito taught me that."
Asami looked over at him. "I won't let you have him."
Feilong returned the stare. "It's for him to decide. And I'll make sure his decision is respected."
Asami smirked. "He'll choose me."
Feilong shrugged. "Will he? Who knows? He might choose someone who's willing to care."
"Why would he want someone who raped him?"
"I don't know. You tell me."
That earned him a soft laugh.
"I was wrong. You have changed, Feilong."
He bowed his head slightly in acknowledgement. He had changed, but he wouldn't let the arrogant Japanese know how very recent some changes had been. "And you have not changed a bit."
Asami shifted on the bed. "You're wrong, you know."
He glanced over, surprised.
Asami continued, "You say I'm afraid to feel emotions, but you're wrong. I feel them, as strongly as anyone. I just can't afford to let them rule me."
Feilong heard some pain behind that, and was unexpectedly moved. "Even for him? He loves you so. He wouldn't use you, you know. And he'd never betray anyone he cared for."
Asami laughed. "He betrayed me a few weeks ago. What does that tell you?"
He shook his head. "He knew you could take care of yourself, while his friends could not. He thought he had no choice. But I've seen his eyes change while he was here. His time with me.... I could see the light dawning in his eyes. That damned shirt...."
Asami turned questioning eyes upon him.
"It's covered in your blood. He sleeps with it. It's disgusting."
It looked like a little smile played around Asami's lips. "So he turned down your offer."
Annoyed, his hair flew as he tossed his head. "For now. But maybe he'll change his mind. It's an open offer. You'd best take care or he'll hop on the first plane down here."
"I'll not share him."
"You may not have a choice."
They glared at each other, and Feilong felt his lips begin to twitch. He couldn't help it. He fell back on the bed, laughing.
"What's so funny now?"
"De Nial." He laughed more. "Oh you wouldn't get it, it's an Americanism."
"I speak English."
"De Nial ain't just a river in Egypt."
"Only Americans would come up with something so unfunny. And only you would repeat it."
Feilong stopped laughing and sat up again. "You're just mad because it's true. That's alright. I won't tell your secret. For now."
"You can tell anyone you'd like. No one would believe you."
Feilong got off the bed, brushing some dust from his clothes. "You've got a point." He looked around the room. "This place needs to be lived in again. I think I'll open it up. Maybe show Akihito the rooms he could have if he stayed."
Asami too stood. "Nice try. Show him where he could hang the shirt on the wall where he could look at it around the clock."
Bastard. "Tomorrow night, 8:00 pm, come here for dinner. Bring the deed. If Akihito wants to, he may leave with you."
Asami stood there silently. "And so you just want me to let this all go."
Feilong stood tall. "Why not? It's what I'm doing with that incident eight years past. I'm man enough. Are you?"
Asami seemed a little smaller, but just for a second. "As long as he's not been harmed, I will consider it."
He couldn't resist the sarcasm. "How generous of you. And do you intend to leave Yoh behind as a souvenir?"
The face across from him blanked of all expression. "I have no idea what you mean."
He lied. "Give it up. I've known from the beginning. He only heard what I wanted him to. The whole deed idea was to give you an out, so I'd have reason to let Akihito go. But I'm tired of the man's dour face. He never smiles."
"It's probably because his true love doesn't even notice him." This time Asami's voice was the sarcastic one.
"Who is ... ?"
Clearly amused, Asami just stared at him.
"You can't be serious. Oh, that's all I need. Fine, if you wanted retribution, that's plenty."
"I think it's possible that we may both be satisfied come tomorrow night. "
Feilong paused, searching his feelings a moment before answering. He was surprised that he could answer as he did. "Yes. I think maybe I will be. At least as far as this goes. Why torment myself for answers where there are none? But I still dislike you immensely." He strode toward the door. "Well, I think I'll have Akihito take care of me for one more night. I may as well make it one that lasts."
At Asami's sudden glare, he continued as he left the room. "Oh for... I'm joking, of course. Get a sense of humor. Maybe I'll jump Yoh. It would be interesting to see if he had more than one facial expression. I can introduce him to his new position as house uke. At least you provided a replacement."
He heard Asami laugh as he followed behind, the annoying prick. Abandoning his men, like he did his lover. Well, not quite the latter. But still. I hope Akihito doesn't regret it. He can always come back if he does.
He glanced at the other rooms in passing as he continued down the hall. All of this would be cleared of sheets and dust tomorrow morning. It's time, Father.
It was time to open the windows and let a fresh breeze sweep the cobwebs clear.
It was time to put the past behind him and start anew.
It was time to come home.
~end~