3 little words that make your heart race
*********WARNING: THIS POST IS MUSHY************
last night was probably the best night of my life.
why you ask?
well i was about to leave PFT and jolly and i were sitting on his bed talking and just holding eachother.aw good times.anyway, he says "i've been thinking" and my dumb ass said"that must hurt" and then i realized he was tryin to be serious and yea i wanted to flush myself down the toilet at that moment.
so once i see he's tryin to be serious, i shut up.he asked me if i would be weirded out if he told me i love you.and at first i was speechless, because that was totally unexpected but i did manage to smile and say no it wouldn't.and then he said "i do, i love you".i cannot tell you how happy i was/am.i've been a little emotional lately so i started to cry but i assured him they were tears of joy.and i told him that i loved him too.
and actually it was a relief too because i had been talking to laura and i told her that i thought i was falling inlove. so i started getting scared and worried because i didn't know where he was as far as feelings and what not and i began to put up my defenses, so to speak, because i was afraid to get hurt.
i never thought that i could feel like this.whenever some great guy before would say "i love you" i would just bawl because i felt bad that i couldn't say it back to them cause i knew that i didn't feel the same way and then i wondered what the hell was wrong with me and why i wasn't capable of loving a guy that treated me so great.because it wasn't the RIGHT guy.for awhile there i started to get scared and think that i may never find someone i would want to say that back to.but i'm glad i was wrong.awhile ago, i told my mom that maybe she's searching for something that doesn't even exist but i'm glad i was wrong because i know it does, because i feel it and it's indescribable but i like it.
and jolly if you're reading this.....I LOVE YOU BABE!!! ...obviously
to everyone else....sorry it was so mushy....but not that sorry ;)
last night was probably the best night of my life.
why you ask?
well i was about to leave PFT and jolly and i were sitting on his bed talking and just holding eachother.aw good times.anyway, he says "i've been thinking" and my dumb ass said"that must hurt" and then i realized he was tryin to be serious and yea i wanted to flush myself down the toilet at that moment.
so once i see he's tryin to be serious, i shut up.he asked me if i would be weirded out if he told me i love you.and at first i was speechless, because that was totally unexpected but i did manage to smile and say no it wouldn't.and then he said "i do, i love you".i cannot tell you how happy i was/am.i've been a little emotional lately so i started to cry but i assured him they were tears of joy.and i told him that i loved him too.
and actually it was a relief too because i had been talking to laura and i told her that i thought i was falling inlove. so i started getting scared and worried because i didn't know where he was as far as feelings and what not and i began to put up my defenses, so to speak, because i was afraid to get hurt.
i never thought that i could feel like this.whenever some great guy before would say "i love you" i would just bawl because i felt bad that i couldn't say it back to them cause i knew that i didn't feel the same way and then i wondered what the hell was wrong with me and why i wasn't capable of loving a guy that treated me so great.because it wasn't the RIGHT guy.for awhile there i started to get scared and think that i may never find someone i would want to say that back to.but i'm glad i was wrong.awhile ago, i told my mom that maybe she's searching for something that doesn't even exist but i'm glad i was wrong because i know it does, because i feel it and it's indescribable but i like it.
and jolly if you're reading this.....I LOVE YOU BABE!!! ...obviously
to everyone else....sorry it was so mushy....but not that sorry ;)