Yeah, I'm a cunt who doesn't update- *deal with it.*
Hahaha, that's so arrogant. No one even reads this anymore. But there you go- anonymous internet blags return from the dead.
I'm in a Courtyard Marriott, almost *shudder* by the *airport* writing this from the bar.
No, I haven't cheated on Kyle, thanks for asking, and no I haven't turned to a life of prostitution to pay off my student loans. (Believe me, I've considered it, but on the whole, i don't think my profit margin would be worth it. ((We'll see.)))
My friend, one of my best friends, is shipping out tonight. He joined the navy and he's going to leave me, and kyle and all this behind. I couldn't be happier for him- I couldn't feel worse for myself.
I've always been a fixer- I like broken people I can piece back together. That's terrible to say and admit but it's true. I like to think that maybe I'm just someone who can see the good in everyone, and doesn't accept failure at face value. There are so many flavors to failure in my life these days, and they're all cloying and insistant and useless. But I know that I love people who are amazing and brilliant- I just always love them when they're down on their luck.
When they get better they leave.
I know I should be happy- I am proud and I am glad that's he's found something he feels is worth dedicating himself to. But- I'm taking a moment, here, on the internet, where no one knows me, to be sad for me.
They always leave.
I know he's going to have an amazing life, and I know he's going to remember his time as my friend fondly, and continue it when life permits. But something is gone. Something is changed. And I can mourn that while still wishing him all the best for the future, can't I?
I hope so.
I'm in a Courtyard Marriott, almost *shudder* by the *airport* writing this from the bar.
No, I haven't cheated on Kyle, thanks for asking, and no I haven't turned to a life of prostitution to pay off my student loans. (Believe me, I've considered it, but on the whole, i don't think my profit margin would be worth it. ((We'll see.)))
My friend, one of my best friends, is shipping out tonight. He joined the navy and he's going to leave me, and kyle and all this behind. I couldn't be happier for him- I couldn't feel worse for myself.
I've always been a fixer- I like broken people I can piece back together. That's terrible to say and admit but it's true. I like to think that maybe I'm just someone who can see the good in everyone, and doesn't accept failure at face value. There are so many flavors to failure in my life these days, and they're all cloying and insistant and useless. But I know that I love people who are amazing and brilliant- I just always love them when they're down on their luck.
When they get better they leave.
I know I should be happy- I am proud and I am glad that's he's found something he feels is worth dedicating himself to. But- I'm taking a moment, here, on the internet, where no one knows me, to be sad for me.
They always leave.
I know he's going to have an amazing life, and I know he's going to remember his time as my friend fondly, and continue it when life permits. But something is gone. Something is changed. And I can mourn that while still wishing him all the best for the future, can't I?
I hope so.