(no subject)
My grandpa died tonight.
I just saw him, last week, for his oh god for his birthday. And he looked so small. And he didn't recognize me. And he was a little out of it. But he was making jokes and annoying my gandma, and he was my grandpa and i loved him.
The problem with me is that i think i'm broken. I don't have normal relationships. I don't think my grandparents loved e that much and i don't think it's their fault. So i feel guilty for being this miserable. Because they had realer relationships with other people and it was never me, but I loved him so it has to count.
Thomas Paglione was a gambler. He was in the mafia. He wasn't always the best father to my mother, and he wasn't always the most upright man int he world.
But he used to smile and light up a room. He could make someone laugh even when they didn't want to. He taught me how to bet on a pony, and used to praise me when i was little and cooked (i.e. breaded) the smelts he loved for christmas. He always treated me the same even when my grandma made me feel like the third half sister i am.
I loved him. And I hope he can know that or feel it.
I just saw him, last week, for his oh god for his birthday. And he looked so small. And he didn't recognize me. And he was a little out of it. But he was making jokes and annoying my gandma, and he was my grandpa and i loved him.
The problem with me is that i think i'm broken. I don't have normal relationships. I don't think my grandparents loved e that much and i don't think it's their fault. So i feel guilty for being this miserable. Because they had realer relationships with other people and it was never me, but I loved him so it has to count.
Thomas Paglione was a gambler. He was in the mafia. He wasn't always the best father to my mother, and he wasn't always the most upright man int he world.
But he used to smile and light up a room. He could make someone laugh even when they didn't want to. He taught me how to bet on a pony, and used to praise me when i was little and cooked (i.e. breaded) the smelts he loved for christmas. He always treated me the same even when my grandma made me feel like the third half sister i am.
I loved him. And I hope he can know that or feel it.