the tears of love
it's been AWHILE... but yea... listening to my slow... sad... love songs. And I'm in a sad mood. and why's that? well... let's say I have a crush, with this person at work. And this person is a classified staff member, so, my chances of having something with that person is pretty slim. I'm jus the lowly student worker. And when I see this person, I swoon for them. And they're so cute. and nice, and awesome, and all around date worthy. But what scares me is this person will be a first. coz why? I like boys too... apart from girls. and this guy... will be a first in my life. and he's not my age. he's like 10 yrs older.
so i'm sad... and maybe coz it's an extension of my feelings i have had this wk after watching the WB show, "Jack & Bobby" they did an episode on the gay issue. Jack's best friend Matt came out to him, he cried coz he was rejected by his friend, and his mom so he committed suicide. And omg it hit me. coz i kno how that character felt.
yes... there was a time in my life... i was a college freshman, and i had a love interest... but i was afraid of how people would react if they found out. I'm still afraid... and during that time... i was thinkin about it... " " yes. suicide. I had picked a day... a method... a letter... a reason... and my method was just bad... i was gonna drive my car off the curve on the road up south mountain. it would have hurt but i would have perished. but my plan had consequences... the reaction to my death... my mom.
to hear her youngest gone. oh that would hurt so much. i can imagine the pain. the shock, the questions.
so i sit here, typing... sad. I wish i could just ask him... kno who he is. I'm scared... i need someone to love me. i need one kiss... i need him.
so i'm sad... and maybe coz it's an extension of my feelings i have had this wk after watching the WB show, "Jack & Bobby" they did an episode on the gay issue. Jack's best friend Matt came out to him, he cried coz he was rejected by his friend, and his mom so he committed suicide. And omg it hit me. coz i kno how that character felt.
yes... there was a time in my life... i was a college freshman, and i had a love interest... but i was afraid of how people would react if they found out. I'm still afraid... and during that time... i was thinkin about it... " " yes. suicide. I had picked a day... a method... a letter... a reason... and my method was just bad... i was gonna drive my car off the curve on the road up south mountain. it would have hurt but i would have perished. but my plan had consequences... the reaction to my death... my mom.
to hear her youngest gone. oh that would hurt so much. i can imagine the pain. the shock, the questions.
so i sit here, typing... sad. I wish i could just ask him... kno who he is. I'm scared... i need someone to love me. i need one kiss... i need him.