(no subject)
i've been looking back over old livejournal entries, and over my friend list from which i've never actually deleted anyones name even when they're journal got deleted. & they're are so many people with black lines through their names, and i find it really sad. because i knew most of these people. and i mean sure, all it was was a few comments about someones thoughts, but they really meant something. it felt like making a connection with someone even if it was ever so slightly. and those people are gone now.
livejournal's changed. i know it seems stupid and everyone says it about websites after being they're a long time 'myspace has changed' 'mad rad hair has changed' whatever, but its like livejournal really has changed. i remember all the picture posts people used to do, new haircuts, or photos in coffee shops, dacen's photo stories, pictures of friends. i remember the one line entries that seemed to speak to me in volumes. i remember getting to know these people over their entries and thoughts. and for them to just disapear. i want to say i feel cheated, like i want to know what happened to them, a goodbye, or a 'one year later' episode. something that would make sense on a tv show but isn't really real life.
admitedly some of those people are still here, from all the way back when i first started this, and it seems incredibly long ago now. probably because it is. i was 16 then. just turned 16, i think. i dont remember the exact date. but it was around about that time. i'm nearly 19 now. i'm a whole different person. & i guess the people that disapeared, disapeared because they too were whole different people. so i cant say i feel cheated out of part of their life, because their lives weren't mine to watch. but there are a lot of people i miss, and like i've already said. its sad.
i think this will probably be my last journal entry on this livejournal. i'm not even sure how many people still read it, or how many people even care. & this doesnt feel right anymore. i've changed incredibly from the first entry in here. i've been through things i never thought i would go through. and i'm still really thankful, because daily things seem to get better and better. i mean sure, there are still a great deal of issues in my head, with lonliness, and self confidence but for the most part things are good. i think for the first time in my life i can look ahead and say, actually, things are going to be okay.
so. i guess i wrote this because i didnt just want to disapear. incase someone that did actually talk, and did actually care is looking back one day and wonders what happened to me. i guess i want them to know i'm okay. and not to worry.
& also, just to say thank you for everything.
for those that still care, my new livejournal is ___commodore64
livejournal's changed. i know it seems stupid and everyone says it about websites after being they're a long time 'myspace has changed' 'mad rad hair has changed' whatever, but its like livejournal really has changed. i remember all the picture posts people used to do, new haircuts, or photos in coffee shops, dacen's photo stories, pictures of friends. i remember the one line entries that seemed to speak to me in volumes. i remember getting to know these people over their entries and thoughts. and for them to just disapear. i want to say i feel cheated, like i want to know what happened to them, a goodbye, or a 'one year later' episode. something that would make sense on a tv show but isn't really real life.
admitedly some of those people are still here, from all the way back when i first started this, and it seems incredibly long ago now. probably because it is. i was 16 then. just turned 16, i think. i dont remember the exact date. but it was around about that time. i'm nearly 19 now. i'm a whole different person. & i guess the people that disapeared, disapeared because they too were whole different people. so i cant say i feel cheated out of part of their life, because their lives weren't mine to watch. but there are a lot of people i miss, and like i've already said. its sad.
i think this will probably be my last journal entry on this livejournal. i'm not even sure how many people still read it, or how many people even care. & this doesnt feel right anymore. i've changed incredibly from the first entry in here. i've been through things i never thought i would go through. and i'm still really thankful, because daily things seem to get better and better. i mean sure, there are still a great deal of issues in my head, with lonliness, and self confidence but for the most part things are good. i think for the first time in my life i can look ahead and say, actually, things are going to be okay.
so. i guess i wrote this because i didnt just want to disapear. incase someone that did actually talk, and did actually care is looking back one day and wonders what happened to me. i guess i want them to know i'm okay. and not to worry.
& also, just to say thank you for everything.
for those that still care, my new livejournal is ___commodore64