If Looks Could Really Kill then MY Profession Would Be Staring

Jul 29, 2005 03:41

im pissed..shawn is totally blowing me off for lori and when something happens between them guess who's going to be sitting on the phone for 2 hours listening to someone complain me!!!! and then he's going to totally blow me off for my birthday when i said like a month and a hlaf ago that we were going to go to the Austin City Limits Festival and then 2 days ago he wants to say that he's going to go up there on sunday with lori and frankie and see coldplay...fuck that im not going to waste time on a friend who only wants to be my friend when he has a problem or when he doesnt have a girlfriend...shit like that bothers me....so tonight at work i had a fucking anxiety attack which wasnt cool at all...i couldnt think straight and i started breathing really heavily and then it became harder to breathe and my body started tensing up and then i started shaking and then i started to cry heavily...and it was strange because i havent cried in a really long time...so i was crying and Mike the manager made me sit down and got brandon to get me some water and then made me sit there until i calmed down a little bit and then let me go home...i think i need to just have a couple of personal days and try not to become so stressed out....but its rather hard because i keep having all these thoughts running through my head and they wont stop and then i try to start sorting them out and i cant and i become even more stressed out and then i lash out on other people...so this was my first anxiety attack and i still havent told my mom...i probably should and i know it runs in my family...but i dont feel like telling her and her making me go to some doctor....im exhausted i need sleep......
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