my final goodbye, but i can't say it

[sundancelover]

i just got home from the final service for my grandpa. My dad's old girlfriend was friends with his sister and they talked the other day and her husband has a limo service so he offered to drive us to the cemetary and back. So we rode to Tahoma Cemetary in a limo with my Grandma and aunt and great uncle. And i wrote this speech that i wanted to say on Saturday and gave it to my Grandma and she started crying. I wish i could fix this i want him back. He's gone, i don't think anyone realizes what this is doing to me. I will never see him again and i can't deal with that. I don't know what to do, my Grandma was crying so much. it was me and my grandma and my aunt grace crying the hardest. He's gone. I don't know what to do. I want so bad to turn back time and make it better but i can't this is so out of my control its unbelievable, i couldn't stop it from happening. Why did it happen? He's really gone and i can't do anything about it. Life is so cruel, the best people always leave us first. I met my Grandpa's brother Gordon for the first time ever today and he looks just like him, i wish he was here. I can't do this, life is never going to be the same. its all changed, its all different, and nothing can save my world from spinning. I need someone to reach in a grab ahold of me so i don't drown in my own tears. well, its time for me to pull myself together and go babysit.

just don't take anyone for granted. they're gone before you know it.