Hello and Meme!
Hi! I've been lurking on LJ- but not posting so much. I don't know if this is particularly a *return* with a more demanding Personal Life and the "It's like a car wreck!" hell-suck aspect of the American news cycle. However, I'm in for tonight and looking to LJ and I came across a great meme! So pick, an episode, any episode. Taken from frelling_tralk and kikimayName
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Moreover, Wesley has a Sara Crewesque element that Wesley and Sarah were very much weakened and emotionally forced into a Last Doll mentality because they don’t know important truths and the people who they counted on to be friends or allies pointedly aren’t. Sara doesn't know that she wasn't left penniless and she's being gaslighted to believe that she doesn't have rights to live comfortably as a child by Miss Minchen. Wesley has been mind wiped of formative history by Angel- and it's part of why Wesley is working *for* Angel at Evil Inc. instead of being his own boss. Actually, just a pure mind-wipe that solely removed Connor from everyone's memory would restore Wesley as nominal Boss of AI as he was pre-Forgiving. We never learn how the Connor-mindwipe rewrote history so Angel ended up as CEO of AI but it further dirties Angel's big lie/mindwipe as self-serving.
Sara and Wesley both have that sense of rootlessness since they’re far away from their childhood homes. Sara’s wonderful father and Wesley’s dreadful father still instilled them with a label of destiny- Sara is a princess and Wesley is a Watcher. Sara and Wesley spend their whole story where they’re far from home trying to keep that image of themselves because it sustains them to be good. Even when Sara feels like being rude or idiotic or keeping much luxuries for herself, she stops herself because she *should* be acting like the ideal of a princess. Even when Wesley feels like quitting or doing the cowardly thing, he stops because he should be a Watcher. Moreover, a scullery maid who tries to be a princess of the rats in the garret and other scullery maid next door and a rootles fired guy who tries to be a Watcher to the most evil vampire on record has the same sense with it seems ridiculous on its surface but like such a worthy coping mechanism when viewed sympathetically.
There’s some dynamic that Fred was always keeping the reality of who she is alive (although it’s somewhat undermined by her erasing her unimpeachable heroism) throughout her life and especially when she was in exile while the Pyleans were tearing her identity apart. However, Wesley and Sara were keeping a fantasy of themselves alive through their exile- but the fantasy was so inextricably intertwined with the reality of their lives that it’s hard to tell the line. Is Wesley a Watcher? He’s not employed by the Watchers’ Council and his function falls far afield of the Council but he sure acts like a Watcher. Is Sara a princess? No, Sara has no kingdom. However, there really is something to Sara’s belief that all girls should feel like princesses- especially when it comes from a nine year old.
Moreover, Sara felt like she was a penniless orphan who was financially abandoned by her father who she deeply loved and trusted for much of the novel even though that’s not true. Her father was a canny businessman who provided for Sara financially right through his dying days and Sara had a good friend of her father’s in London who would have loved to take custody of her and raise her right. In an opposite dynamic, Wesley has false memories in his head of how he related to Angel, Fred, Gunn et al and what his own track record is in terms of mistake work to twist his personality. Sara was inhibited from objecting to her treatment and how things went down because she falsely believed that she was rejected by everyone and had no place or allies in the world. Wesley was inhibited to rejecting to how AI does business and Gunn’s brain upgrades and Angel joining W&H because Wesley believed that his role was JUST to be ally of those two.
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