trust is the basis of any relationship
and the current lack of it in mine is slowly killing me. no one should be this drunk at 6am and plan on staying up for another few hours. i love him so much and yet have no clear concept of how we are going to make this work.
you know how some days there just aren't enough rocks? this is one of them.
i want to go home. i want to see my momma, and my bean. and even my cranky little bear. of course the rest of my famiglia. and the other men that would do anything for me so instinctually they are family.
i don't need you to carry me, i just need a shoulder to lean on for a little bit.
did i mention my paw hurts so bad i can barely type? it takes me forever to eat because i can't use my right hand anymore at all. february 8 is the week i can go out. and since it isn't work related, i can't take time off until then.
and my beloved coworker and hero called in with some news i still can barely grasp. my heart aches for him, as though i can do something to somehow heal my own past and lost time with my da.
i'm not kidding anyone. i am fucking trainwreck, and despite what travis says, no one really likes trainwrecks. even if they do watch them on tv. they are happy they are watching them from a safe distance, and if it isn't happening in their own backyard. but no one wants to wake up with that day after day. especially when they can't even feed themselves.
"the itch to get rich quick has never been so hard to reach, with my hands tied behind my back..."
and we all know "nothing is worse than an itch you can never scratch..."
i might not be busy dressing up in retarded costumes and have whore-y sayings under my pics, but still, somewhere hidden in there is the girl who has yet to lose a game of star wars trivial pursuit...
right now i just come back around to the point of if you want him you can have him. i'm sick of fighting for something i probably can't win. i'm not that smart, but i'm together enough to know when i'm waging a losing battle.
and why fight for someone who can barely remember me and what he says he wants? it's a shitty set of alternatives if i really am the love of his life. either he chooses to hide something from me, or he forgets me.
try going to sleep with that night after night.
you really can't unless you're fucking wasted.
you know how some days there just aren't enough rocks? this is one of them.
i want to go home. i want to see my momma, and my bean. and even my cranky little bear. of course the rest of my famiglia. and the other men that would do anything for me so instinctually they are family.
i don't need you to carry me, i just need a shoulder to lean on for a little bit.
did i mention my paw hurts so bad i can barely type? it takes me forever to eat because i can't use my right hand anymore at all. february 8 is the week i can go out. and since it isn't work related, i can't take time off until then.
and my beloved coworker and hero called in with some news i still can barely grasp. my heart aches for him, as though i can do something to somehow heal my own past and lost time with my da.
i'm not kidding anyone. i am fucking trainwreck, and despite what travis says, no one really likes trainwrecks. even if they do watch them on tv. they are happy they are watching them from a safe distance, and if it isn't happening in their own backyard. but no one wants to wake up with that day after day. especially when they can't even feed themselves.
"the itch to get rich quick has never been so hard to reach, with my hands tied behind my back..."
and we all know "nothing is worse than an itch you can never scratch..."
i might not be busy dressing up in retarded costumes and have whore-y sayings under my pics, but still, somewhere hidden in there is the girl who has yet to lose a game of star wars trivial pursuit...
right now i just come back around to the point of if you want him you can have him. i'm sick of fighting for something i probably can't win. i'm not that smart, but i'm together enough to know when i'm waging a losing battle.
and why fight for someone who can barely remember me and what he says he wants? it's a shitty set of alternatives if i really am the love of his life. either he chooses to hide something from me, or he forgets me.
try going to sleep with that night after night.
you really can't unless you're fucking wasted.