He wore his passion for his woman like a thorny crown
It's been an interesting hour, but before I write about it, I got to get it all straightened out in my mind. I guess I will talk about other things before I can wrap my head around more reccent events.
- Kaitlin's party rocked my socks. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. (you rock homegirl, I hope shepard goes ok!!)
- The plan for today was that I was going to hang out with Nikki and Sam (prob. go swimming). But it just ended up Conor, Carmen and I driving to various libraries in the Baltimore County area and watching movies. *note to self*(Arbutus library is sketchy in its placement).
- Watched : - Liberty Heights, which is a deccent movie, the best part of it is knowing the places where the action is unfolding.
- P.S. *should be called Laura Linney is a LOSER* : A bit of a crap movie, but it taught us viewers a few valuable lessons, that were rather neeeded at this point in time. Stuff about letting go of loves/lusts from High School... unless you want to be a crazy loser divorcee at 39 like Laura Linney's character.
- part of the Aviator : which so far is brillant and not just because Rufus Wainwright has a cameo and Jude Law has the best cameo of ALL Time (well 2nd maybe after Ben Stiller in Empire of the Sun).
- The Daily Show keeps impressing me more and more. The interview with Howard Dean is key, Jon Stewart asks the questions that needed to be asked (if only the daily show wasn't just preaching to the choir...).
- Ok anyway after the daily show (the second one) I was about ready to go to bed, just thinking over what i was going to do tommorow and how i was going to fix the horror that is my skin. When I heard a rock or something hit my window. I was like WTF. then there was another and another. I thought it was sparse hail or some pyscho killer so I went downstairs to turn on the front porch light to make any hooligans run off or w/e. But it turned out to be Bobby (at the time I thought that my heart was going to melt, I am a sucker for old skool romance). It turned out that he was pretty drunk. He was drunk to the point of feeling sick. I gave him some water and rubbed his back and I invited him to hang out in the mudroom bathroom (ya know just in case). I just talked and gave him water and just rubbed his back. He appoligized for coming over like that..in that state. but i really didn't mind, I just wanted him to feel better. I thought about my previous drunken take care of sessions (with a certain irishman), but i realized how different I was now, changed for the better. It wasn't that big of a deal to me that I was doing it, I wasn't degrading poor Bobby or really disapproving. Its a slippery slope when it comes to being worried vs. disapproving. Apparently he was even the one doing all the driving tonight. I like boys who bring out my wild and free side (and trust me there is one), but there's really such a problem with managing freedom with responsiblity to oneself and ones friends. I really didn't want him to drive, but when he finally could stand and walk in a relatively straight line, and said he was better, he went off. I am HOPING with all my heart that he gets home ok, I would never forgive myself. When he left I felt myself begin to tear up, almost to the point of a full on cry. I just thought about how much better I had been with Bobby then with Malone (a sign of maturity I can only assume/learning from mistakes). I also noticed that my hostility towards sick/weak people (which is usually so overpowering it causes me to loathe someone for having a tummy ache), was gone (hopefully it is gone for good). I thought about my life in the future...all the other drunk hooligans i would probably date, and marry finally become married to the town drunk (and do it gladly), it was such an overreaction, but thats the way my mind went. I really surprised myself tonight. Its nice to be needed in such a frank and open manner, but the feeling of being needed wouldn't surpass the feeling of having bobby ok agian (at least i hope i am not that messed up). Its still such a small event to make me think so much. *still thinking* ... well lets see what tommorow brings.
- Kaitlin's party rocked my socks. I haven't had that much fun in a long time. (you rock homegirl, I hope shepard goes ok!!)
- The plan for today was that I was going to hang out with Nikki and Sam (prob. go swimming). But it just ended up Conor, Carmen and I driving to various libraries in the Baltimore County area and watching movies. *note to self*(Arbutus library is sketchy in its placement).
- Watched : - Liberty Heights, which is a deccent movie, the best part of it is knowing the places where the action is unfolding.
- P.S. *should be called Laura Linney is a LOSER* : A bit of a crap movie, but it taught us viewers a few valuable lessons, that were rather neeeded at this point in time. Stuff about letting go of loves/lusts from High School... unless you want to be a crazy loser divorcee at 39 like Laura Linney's character.
- part of the Aviator : which so far is brillant and not just because Rufus Wainwright has a cameo and Jude Law has the best cameo of ALL Time (well 2nd maybe after Ben Stiller in Empire of the Sun).
- The Daily Show keeps impressing me more and more. The interview with Howard Dean is key, Jon Stewart asks the questions that needed to be asked (if only the daily show wasn't just preaching to the choir...).
- Ok anyway after the daily show (the second one) I was about ready to go to bed, just thinking over what i was going to do tommorow and how i was going to fix the horror that is my skin. When I heard a rock or something hit my window. I was like WTF. then there was another and another. I thought it was sparse hail or some pyscho killer so I went downstairs to turn on the front porch light to make any hooligans run off or w/e. But it turned out to be Bobby (at the time I thought that my heart was going to melt, I am a sucker for old skool romance). It turned out that he was pretty drunk. He was drunk to the point of feeling sick. I gave him some water and rubbed his back and I invited him to hang out in the mudroom bathroom (ya know just in case). I just talked and gave him water and just rubbed his back. He appoligized for coming over like that..in that state. but i really didn't mind, I just wanted him to feel better. I thought about my previous drunken take care of sessions (with a certain irishman), but i realized how different I was now, changed for the better. It wasn't that big of a deal to me that I was doing it, I wasn't degrading poor Bobby or really disapproving. Its a slippery slope when it comes to being worried vs. disapproving. Apparently he was even the one doing all the driving tonight. I like boys who bring out my wild and free side (and trust me there is one), but there's really such a problem with managing freedom with responsiblity to oneself and ones friends. I really didn't want him to drive, but when he finally could stand and walk in a relatively straight line, and said he was better, he went off. I am HOPING with all my heart that he gets home ok, I would never forgive myself. When he left I felt myself begin to tear up, almost to the point of a full on cry. I just thought about how much better I had been with Bobby then with Malone (a sign of maturity I can only assume/learning from mistakes). I also noticed that my hostility towards sick/weak people (which is usually so overpowering it causes me to loathe someone for having a tummy ache), was gone (hopefully it is gone for good). I thought about my life in the future...all the other drunk hooligans i would probably date, and marry finally become married to the town drunk (and do it gladly), it was such an overreaction, but thats the way my mind went. I really surprised myself tonight. Its nice to be needed in such a frank and open manner, but the feeling of being needed wouldn't surpass the feeling of having bobby ok agian (at least i hope i am not that messed up). Its still such a small event to make me think so much. *still thinking* ... well lets see what tommorow brings.