She lay all night watching the colours change

[sunbeam_sleeper]

So many people have brought up the topic of going away and college reccently and I haven't really posted my feelings about it yet. I am so conflicted about the whole thing. I am someone who settles or is comfortable almost anywhere. I just sort of feel at home anywhere I learned that about myself last year. I have known forever that I am happier the more independence and freedom I have. I wanted to leave home on my third birthday, I managed to fly the coup last year and had a blast. So I should on paper be all set for the best time of my life in college, freedom, new people, independence, partying...all of my favourite things. But I don't think this is the whole picture. I will miss Conor and Carmen prob. more then I will miss anything or anyone else. One may say that things won't change and we won't ourselves grow apart, but I a bit too pragmatic for all that. I think college is an experience that changes you, even if you don't want to, you get new interests, almost a whole new life, sure I will stick click with my other two amigos on that basic level (to use carmen's phrase), but I think things will be different (i know i have felt that way before) they always are when you live a life apart. I actually am hoping I come out somehow changed (hopefully for the better) from St.Mary's.

My Hopes :
- I meet new people
- I meet many boys
- I meet many boys who are interested in me.
- I say intellegent things in class.
- I throw kick ass parties

My Fears:

- I become a loner
- I become a workaholic.
- No one gets my humour.
- I hate college.