(no subject)
So, as per a promise to the wise Koga, I feel obliged to put up something indicative of the real me... problem is, I cannot seem to think of anything that would appropriate describe the fugue, eyes-open-wide-but-not-seeing-shit state I am presently in and thus have resolved to change it. So, let me take you on my journey of self discovery by retelling my path to, well, you will see (Cause I am writing this as I go, bear with me).
So, I sit her, staring at the 'Update Journal' page of the site, looking over the odd angular nose featured on the CGI'd Sephiroth image I use as an avatar. I am trying to find something profound and meaningful to write about but my mind is drawing an absolute blank. What do I write about where I know I can speak from with authority on the subject and yet not come off as a blowhard...
Let's review the generals as I did:
1) Work is a joke, one in which I honestly am suprised they actually PAY someone to do this.
2) Home life makes me contimplate the finer points of suicide and possibly burning in hell, as a step up from here.
3) Play time has been good. MMORPG's are starting to suck, and I have not logged on WoW in weeks now. To compensate, I have been spending more time out with friends, at movies, at dinner's out, buying dozens of roses for Michelle and later having 7-8/10 sex. Not to shabby.... there we go. I have my topic:
Those I love:
Michelle. I love Michelle. It is odd how much, but to explain here is an example: Enter Janus, dreaming. X desireable person whom I have long been attracted to starts to remove clothing with her teeth. Needless to say, appealing. Suddenly, something steps in. "I am sorry," I say "but I cannot do that to Michelle" and Janus walks away, only to wake up. Everything from the gap in her teeth to her really big breast to barb-wire tattoo on her ankle and the way she will always roll over and lay on her stomach when she falls alseep, no matter what
Nick. I love Nick. It is odd how much. He is my roomate, (one of two I wish well), my brother, friend, partner in crime and allied evil genius. I would die for him, but the reality is that I cannot. He is dying, and will die soon of organ failure. I accept this reality, and pray that either I can take his place, or he will be blessed with a miracle.
Josh. I love Josh. It is odd how much. He started as a man I loathed, until I put aside my pride and actually opened my ears. The worst of enemies do make the best of friends at times. He is sad now, and I think I know why. There is only so much weight someone can carry on their shoulders before getting burdened. Let me see if I can drive this bus for a bit, you take a load off and watch the map.
Ashley. I love Ashley. It is odd that I am even admitting it. She is greedy, self-centered, arrogant, loud, obnoxious and easily-riled. She is, at times, a black hearted bitch that seeks only to devour your sanity or your bank account. However, in recent years, I see kindness, even some *gasp* moderation. She has been shining through recently, and I am happy to know my sister will not need to rely on anyone shortly, and is begining to understand ethics.
Mark. I love Mark. It is odd how much. A good man who has gotten so much better about talking in movie theatres, only to become interested in someone who was actually doing 'girl-talk' loudly while it was on. Blessed on one hand, cursed on the other, I hope you get your clothes taken off and done proper man by a beautiful woman (as crude as that is, real good sex is like touching god. Ala, as long as she keeps doing that, she IS god ;D)
Eric. I love Eric. It is odd how much. When I first met him, he was like a sterotypical hardass. He was not though, and is not. Within all that gruff and tumble, there is a suprisingly sensative man who likes cuddling more than sex, and cherishes conversations more than blow-jobs. You sir are a good man, and undoubtled a brother. Keep that temper down, and that chin up.
Alex. I love Alex. It is odd how much. I cherish CAST, and really any time with him always. At first, I felt that you had a secret grudge against me, and you seemed to almost eyeball me like you were thinking 'Is NOW the best time to knock him out?'. Then one day you gave me a hug and we chit-chatted. I have always respected your views and your charisma. Hell, techically *Tripdownmemorylanewoooshwoooosh* you had me at that Pizza parlor in 1995 when you sat down with me and actually helped me make my first larp character, a Tremere anarch for Diablo's children. I was sixteen at the time, but I remember you taking the time to this day to help. It meant a lot.
More mentions later. Right now, drama found me again :(
So, I sit her, staring at the 'Update Journal' page of the site, looking over the odd angular nose featured on the CGI'd Sephiroth image I use as an avatar. I am trying to find something profound and meaningful to write about but my mind is drawing an absolute blank. What do I write about where I know I can speak from with authority on the subject and yet not come off as a blowhard...
Let's review the generals as I did:
1) Work is a joke, one in which I honestly am suprised they actually PAY someone to do this.
2) Home life makes me contimplate the finer points of suicide and possibly burning in hell, as a step up from here.
3) Play time has been good. MMORPG's are starting to suck, and I have not logged on WoW in weeks now. To compensate, I have been spending more time out with friends, at movies, at dinner's out, buying dozens of roses for Michelle and later having 7-8/10 sex. Not to shabby.... there we go. I have my topic:
Those I love:
Michelle. I love Michelle. It is odd how much, but to explain here is an example: Enter Janus, dreaming. X desireable person whom I have long been attracted to starts to remove clothing with her teeth. Needless to say, appealing. Suddenly, something steps in. "I am sorry," I say "but I cannot do that to Michelle" and Janus walks away, only to wake up. Everything from the gap in her teeth to her really big breast to barb-wire tattoo on her ankle and the way she will always roll over and lay on her stomach when she falls alseep, no matter what
Nick. I love Nick. It is odd how much. He is my roomate, (one of two I wish well), my brother, friend, partner in crime and allied evil genius. I would die for him, but the reality is that I cannot. He is dying, and will die soon of organ failure. I accept this reality, and pray that either I can take his place, or he will be blessed with a miracle.
Josh. I love Josh. It is odd how much. He started as a man I loathed, until I put aside my pride and actually opened my ears. The worst of enemies do make the best of friends at times. He is sad now, and I think I know why. There is only so much weight someone can carry on their shoulders before getting burdened. Let me see if I can drive this bus for a bit, you take a load off and watch the map.
Ashley. I love Ashley. It is odd that I am even admitting it. She is greedy, self-centered, arrogant, loud, obnoxious and easily-riled. She is, at times, a black hearted bitch that seeks only to devour your sanity or your bank account. However, in recent years, I see kindness, even some *gasp* moderation. She has been shining through recently, and I am happy to know my sister will not need to rely on anyone shortly, and is begining to understand ethics.
Mark. I love Mark. It is odd how much. A good man who has gotten so much better about talking in movie theatres, only to become interested in someone who was actually doing 'girl-talk' loudly while it was on. Blessed on one hand, cursed on the other, I hope you get your clothes taken off and done proper man by a beautiful woman (as crude as that is, real good sex is like touching god. Ala, as long as she keeps doing that, she IS god ;D)
Eric. I love Eric. It is odd how much. When I first met him, he was like a sterotypical hardass. He was not though, and is not. Within all that gruff and tumble, there is a suprisingly sensative man who likes cuddling more than sex, and cherishes conversations more than blow-jobs. You sir are a good man, and undoubtled a brother. Keep that temper down, and that chin up.
Alex. I love Alex. It is odd how much. I cherish CAST, and really any time with him always. At first, I felt that you had a secret grudge against me, and you seemed to almost eyeball me like you were thinking 'Is NOW the best time to knock him out?'. Then one day you gave me a hug and we chit-chatted. I have always respected your views and your charisma. Hell, techically *Tripdownmemorylanewoooshwoooosh* you had me at that Pizza parlor in 1995 when you sat down with me and actually helped me make my first larp character, a Tremere anarch for Diablo's children. I was sixteen at the time, but I remember you taking the time to this day to help. It meant a lot.
More mentions later. Right now, drama found me again :(