Effects of Recession part 2 (WARNING: DO NOT READ IF OFFENDED)
Indy: Ah, I see. Then came the Paulbots, mighty, all-knowing, half-baked college students completely devoid of all reason. These basement dwelling ubermenschen, through sheer deductive brilliance and a total ignorance of physics, were able to figure out that the Moonlanding, the Pearl Harbor Attack, any and all contact with the outside world, all staged. Neocons became any and all things depending on who you asked. To the paleocon, we were godless, free-trade loving globalists. To the LP, we were gold standard-scorning socialists who were for “managed trade” instead of free trade. To the neorockefellers, we were reaganite radicals with the hawkish libertarianism of Goldwater and were not Democrat enough for them. We integrated all insane beliefs no matter how contradictory. It was great, they were calling us "Strassians" or "Straussians" or something, we had no idea what the fuck that was, but we integrated that too.
Sun: Would you explain to the readers how we can be completely different things at once.
Indy: It just is! Everything was ready. We were working on a Weather Generator and Mind Control Node. We even had the perfect flag design.
pictured: This Is What Lou Dobbes Actually Believes
Sun: And then the Recession hit.
Indy: Damn straight it did. Now people had real problems to worry about. It could have still worked, but a dispute erupted between the head bandito of Mexico, Dirty Sanchez I, and King Kanoot the Socialized, Ruler of the Great White North. It was a trivial matter over the necessity of badges for the new regime, but it was breaking point. Much of our funding existed in the form of loans resting on the viability of beaver fights which would be the national sport of the new country.
Sun: But there is good news.
Indy: While the North American Union conspiracy may have been delayed, it isn’t dead. We’ve set upon a cooperative fluoridization project of all North American Waters. Every white anglo-saxon protestant in America and the rest will have all their precious bodily fluids sapped and impurified by 2018. And I must now harsh the mellow of a random paulbot because he knows the truth.
Sun: May you feast upon the flesh of NPR speakers, and wipe your ass with the traditional garb of some endangered tribal culture. (shakes hand)
Here’s to sapping the In February we will be merging with the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. The Vast Right Wing Conspiracy is the leading force of darkness in the NWO conspiracy. The MAN will join other cabals like the Illuminati, the Pan-Corporate Cabal that secretly decides who wins the elections, the sixth through forty-fifth Reichs, the Grey-Reptillian-Insectoid Alliance, the Church and it’s army of Jesuit albino giant killer monks, the DoReMiFaSo, and so much more.
pictured: Our Founder and CEO(VRWC)
And Here's a sneak peak at things to come:
*the Christian kind, not the Islamic kind that is chic right now.
**authoritarian defined as any regime that prohibits the carrying of explosives greater than six kilos on one's person.
***but somehow still theocratic
****racist codewords include:
-State's Rights
-Merry Christmas
-Socialism
-2nd Ammendment
-God bless you
-Family Values
-Freedom
-Individual Rights
-Hello, nice weather we are having today
*(5) Aids being the disease Ronald Reagan created when America dropped atomic bombs on Hiroshima and Nagasaki on December 7, 1941 according to Rev. Jeremiah Wright.
*(6) all prosperity and expansion being at the expense of the poor, indiginous peoples, and Mother Earth.
*(7) The Recession(The Left had been falsely claiming predicting recognizing feeling there was a recession since Bush took off in order to start a panic. It wasn't until the Democrats regained control of Congress that their prophesies were vindicated by starting a real one.) being a result of the past eight years of our unregulated, laissez faire capitalism, and a sign that capitalism is coming to an end for the 128th time.
*(8) Oddly enough, the black nationalist groups were always to be found in the universities and inner cities. You'd think a militant black nationalist organization would go for a trip through the country every weekend looking for klan rallies to crash. I mean it wouldn't be hard to find them, they're dressed like ghosts and set fire to giant crosses wherever they meet up.