Shut Down
It's kind of a wierd feeling, being completely shut down.
But it's kind of nice. I feel almost nothing. No love, no happiness, no excitement, but no pain.
n-o-t-h-i-n-g
emptiness. vast emptiness.
i work. and work. and read.
talk to jackie. read. work.
but i avoid everything else. my sister (real one) is in chicago and i'm not even going to see her. she's too busy.
always too busy.
when i was little she made time for me. why then and not now?
out of obligation, probably...oh well.
whatever. ive shut down...im not thinking about it.
But it's kind of nice. I feel almost nothing. No love, no happiness, no excitement, but no pain.
n-o-t-h-i-n-g
emptiness. vast emptiness.
i work. and work. and read.
talk to jackie. read. work.
but i avoid everything else. my sister (real one) is in chicago and i'm not even going to see her. she's too busy.
always too busy.
when i was little she made time for me. why then and not now?
out of obligation, probably...oh well.
whatever. ive shut down...im not thinking about it.