Rebound
Title: Rebound
Pairing: Taengsic/ Taeny/ indication of Yulti
A/N: I dont quite like this one, thought it was far too confusing but since i promised someone I'd share, here it goes. Like always, ignore all typos, i suck at writing. Oh, just in case you guys want to know my mood while writing this, CLICK
She’s boy crazy, she never liked any girl the way she likes Taeyeon and convincing herself that she’s not gay gave her enough trouble, if she hadn’t been so sure about her sexuality she might have really believe that she is indeed attracted to the same gender. But she’s not; she’s only like this when it comes to Kim Taeyeon. . Despite of Taeyeon already being with someone else, Jessica still secretly loves the girl.
“my gaydar never lies”
“I’m not gay”
“so says the girl who’s head over heels for her leader”
“so says the guy who slept with all his members”
“shut up Jessica!”
“you’re gay Heechul”
But ridding herself of the feelings she harbors so deeply for Taeyeon is something else. No matter how hard she forced herself to forget Taeyeon she can never erase what’s already carved inside her heart. Whenever she sleeps with other guys, the only thing that kept her going through the night was the thought of the older girl in her arms and not in someone else’s.
Jessica insists that what she feels is nothing but temporary infatuation; she lies to herself and makes herself believe that these unnecessary emotions will soon fade and everything will go back to how it was.
But she knows very well that things will never be the same.
Jessica knows very well that Taeyeon will never love her the way she loves Tiffany.
…
Every day Jessica is forced to put up a façade and pretend like all is well. She tells Sooyoung that she’s at the happiest stage of her life, but that is only to stop her roommate from asking anymore questions because she’s afraid that if Sooyoung continues, she might lose it and the wall she worked so hard to build will shatter into pieces like how her heart shatters every time she catches the chaste kisses Taeyeon gives Tiffany.
Jessica knows that every touch from Taeyeon is nothing more than just from the oldest to the second oldest member of Girls’ Generation. Many times had she wished that the touches were more than just from those of a friend but she knows it will never happen. She knows Taeyeon will never see her the way she sees Tiffany.
…
“What were you doing last night inside Tiffany’s room Taeyeon?”
“I was…w-w-we were-“
“tsk horny children”
“W-what?! I-I’m not!”
“then why are you stuttering? We all know you can’t lie Taeyeon”
“I…Tiffany…she…understands me more than I understand myself”
Taeyeon continues on, unaware that every word she speaks is like daggers flying through Jessica’s already broken heart.
Sometimes she wants to let go. She wants to move on, to find someone that loves her and will never hurt her, but no one can ever make her heart flutter irregularly, send her mind into a frenzy, or make her smile the way Taeyeon does. But she also tells herself that
No one can make her heart ache the way Taeyeon does.
..
By the time she’s certain that her heart can no longer ache as much than it already is, she catches Taeyeon sobbing in the bathroom and the sight of her helplessly sitting on the tiled floor sends another round of flying daggers and pins into Jessica’s shattered heart.
“Tiffany…I caught her…in bed with Yuri”
Jessica’s chest aches.
It aches for Taeyeon.
It aches because she couldn’t do anything to possibly put the leader at ease.
But most importantly, it aches because she knows Taeyeon still loves Tiffany.
…
“just go tell her already”
“easy for you to say, you’re not the one in my shoes”
“I may not know how you feel, or how Taeyeon might be feeling. But you can’t sit here and tell me you love her if you’re just going to sit and watch her slowly ruin herself.”
“what do you think I should do then Heechul?”
“be her rebound.”
Others might see Jessica as desperate and crazy to take Heechul’s advice but if being Taeyeon’s rebound can lessen the pain the leader is feeling, then the blonde is willing to shoulder all the hurt. If being a rebound lets her be with Taeyeon, then she is willing to be just that.
In the end, she’s still just another girl to Taeyeon and Jessica is aware of that.
She knows that whenever the two of them make love she’s not the one in Taeyeon’s mind but a certain mushroom, but she forgives Taeyeon anyways. The two of them never really talked about their relationship.
Jessica sometimes wants to believe that Taeyeon already moved on, that Taeyeon is happy with her. But who is she kidding, certainly not herself. The way Taeyeon looks at her is not like the way she looks at Tiffany, her eyes don’t contain the same sparkle, the same excitement whenever she looks at Jessica. Her eyes contain nothing but empty emotions, her words nothing but empty promises;
Still, Jessica forces herself to smile every time the leader whispers sweet nothings into her ears.
Being in love, at times is weird, and painful, and sad. But Jessica wouldn't want to be in love with anyone other than Taeyeon.
Pairing: Taengsic/ Taeny/ indication of Yulti
A/N: I dont quite like this one, thought it was far too confusing but since i promised someone I'd share, here it goes. Like always, ignore all typos, i suck at writing. Oh, just in case you guys want to know my mood while writing this, CLICK
She’s boy crazy, she never liked any girl the way she likes Taeyeon and convincing herself that she’s not gay gave her enough trouble, if she hadn’t been so sure about her sexuality she might have really believe that she is indeed attracted to the same gender. But she’s not; she’s only like this when it comes to Kim Taeyeon. . Despite of Taeyeon already being with someone else, Jessica still secretly loves the girl.
“my gaydar never lies”
“I’m not gay”
“so says the girl who’s head over heels for her leader”
“so says the guy who slept with all his members”
“shut up Jessica!”
“you’re gay Heechul”
But ridding herself of the feelings she harbors so deeply for Taeyeon is something else. No matter how hard she forced herself to forget Taeyeon she can never erase what’s already carved inside her heart. Whenever she sleeps with other guys, the only thing that kept her going through the night was the thought of the older girl in her arms and not in someone else’s.
Jessica insists that what she feels is nothing but temporary infatuation; she lies to herself and makes herself believe that these unnecessary emotions will soon fade and everything will go back to how it was.
But she knows very well that things will never be the same.
Jessica knows very well that Taeyeon will never love her the way she loves Tiffany.
…
Every day Jessica is forced to put up a façade and pretend like all is well. She tells Sooyoung that she’s at the happiest stage of her life, but that is only to stop her roommate from asking anymore questions because she’s afraid that if Sooyoung continues, she might lose it and the wall she worked so hard to build will shatter into pieces like how her heart shatters every time she catches the chaste kisses Taeyeon gives Tiffany.
Jessica knows that every touch from Taeyeon is nothing more than just from the oldest to the second oldest member of Girls’ Generation. Many times had she wished that the touches were more than just from those of a friend but she knows it will never happen. She knows Taeyeon will never see her the way she sees Tiffany.
…
“What were you doing last night inside Tiffany’s room Taeyeon?”
“I was…w-w-we were-“
“tsk horny children”
“W-what?! I-I’m not!”
“then why are you stuttering? We all know you can’t lie Taeyeon”
“I…Tiffany…she…understands me more than I understand myself”
Taeyeon continues on, unaware that every word she speaks is like daggers flying through Jessica’s already broken heart.
Sometimes she wants to let go. She wants to move on, to find someone that loves her and will never hurt her, but no one can ever make her heart flutter irregularly, send her mind into a frenzy, or make her smile the way Taeyeon does. But she also tells herself that
No one can make her heart ache the way Taeyeon does.
..
By the time she’s certain that her heart can no longer ache as much than it already is, she catches Taeyeon sobbing in the bathroom and the sight of her helplessly sitting on the tiled floor sends another round of flying daggers and pins into Jessica’s shattered heart.
“Tiffany…I caught her…in bed with Yuri”
Jessica’s chest aches.
It aches for Taeyeon.
It aches because she couldn’t do anything to possibly put the leader at ease.
But most importantly, it aches because she knows Taeyeon still loves Tiffany.
…
“just go tell her already”
“easy for you to say, you’re not the one in my shoes”
“I may not know how you feel, or how Taeyeon might be feeling. But you can’t sit here and tell me you love her if you’re just going to sit and watch her slowly ruin herself.”
“what do you think I should do then Heechul?”
“be her rebound.”
Others might see Jessica as desperate and crazy to take Heechul’s advice but if being Taeyeon’s rebound can lessen the pain the leader is feeling, then the blonde is willing to shoulder all the hurt. If being a rebound lets her be with Taeyeon, then she is willing to be just that.
In the end, she’s still just another girl to Taeyeon and Jessica is aware of that.
She knows that whenever the two of them make love she’s not the one in Taeyeon’s mind but a certain mushroom, but she forgives Taeyeon anyways. The two of them never really talked about their relationship.
Jessica sometimes wants to believe that Taeyeon already moved on, that Taeyeon is happy with her. But who is she kidding, certainly not herself. The way Taeyeon looks at her is not like the way she looks at Tiffany, her eyes don’t contain the same sparkle, the same excitement whenever she looks at Jessica. Her eyes contain nothing but empty emotions, her words nothing but empty promises;
Still, Jessica forces herself to smile every time the leader whispers sweet nothings into her ears.
Being in love, at times is weird, and painful, and sad. But Jessica wouldn't want to be in love with anyone other than Taeyeon.