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Yawn..I'm tired...guess how much homework I did today? Yeah that's right none. It's been an emotional day. Sigh. So last night Mindy told me that Sam was engaged...yeah it upset me way more then it should have. I wish I could get to the point where I'm like fuck it, but I can't. Maybe if he didn't break up with me because he "wanted to be young and enjoy being 20 and not be tied down." Bullshit...funny that he was single for like a week. I'm just afraid that will be the story of my life...I'll always get left for the next best thing...I guess it's why commitment scares the crap outta me. I'm crazy about Jon...if you know me tho I down play my feelings like crazy I don't like showing that I actually care about someone, but I do he means so much to me. So emotional break down happened...it's just hard that my parents don't see it working out...and I mean I understand that they have my best intrests in mind and just don't want to see me getting hurt...but I care about Jon so much even tho he's far away he's the one I want to be with...and who knows it might not work out...with my luck he'll meet some girl in Iraq but he makes me happy and I'm not going to end it just because he's in Iraq. If it's meant to be it will work out. Mindy even said today this is the happiest I've seen you in a long time. Plus I'm still living my life...I go out all the time and I don't sit by the phone waiting for him to call. He tells me to go out all the time too...he's awesome like that. It just gets hard to have faith something will work out when you're the only one that does. Everything else is going good....my friends are beyond amazing...I love the girls on my floor...I like my business classes...So I'm just going to keep on keeping on.