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Feb 03, 2006 08:37

I honestly am in such a crappy mood. I haven't talked to Jon since umm yeah Monday morning. Yesterday he finally was able to get online and I had classes all day. The worst part is we had our first real "fight" I dunno if you can even call it that - because currently it's just me being mad/upset at him and him not really understanding because he can't check his email. I'm have to be pmsing or something because the whole situation doesn't get me down until now. It's just so hard I care a lot about him and honestly don't want to be with anyone else...I just sometimes feel like maybe it was too soon but blah I'm just rambling due to my immense amount of insecurites. Along with those come the would it work out if he was in my situation with lots of girls all around would he still want this...because it's hard for me with so many boys but I do know what I want...the last thing I want to do is hold him back. Sigh. Then Valentines Day is getting me down a little...it's weird I'm not materalisitc (ok maybe I am a little) but I'm just used to spending at least the day with my boyfriend...and I always have a valentine...I mean I do this year but I can't go out to dinner with him. I send a kick ass package tho...so I do think I win in that aspect. Good thing right now is I've been spending lots of time with the girls they keep me smiling and laughing...which I love. We all saw Annapolis last night which was a kick ass movie...and umm the Marines are hott in it...haha - (Sarah I'm sure you'd appericate that ;-)). I'm so busy that I hardly have time to miss Jon - between work, school, being an RA, and my friends which is good...I'm just kinda down about everything and esp. being mad b/c the last thing I want to do is waste my time being angry but that's what happens when my feelings get hurt. Blah. I'm heading back to bed I'm exhasuted.
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