(no subject)
new fascination with midgets..ive decided my goal in life is to marry a hott midget named raphael. better start searching...
-im sick of being labeled as "bi-polar" as my S.H. buddies would call me..its not like their wrong, they do have a point, but i need to stop basing my mood on one person, one stupid factor that wont really matter in a couple of months..what am i talking about, it wont matter in a couple of days..i need to stop caring so much about other people and just start doing shit my way..ive looked back and realized that other people are indirectly running my life..not talking to someone or getting in a fight with another puts me in a bad mood and then probably miss out on some good times i could be having. its absurd what im doing..they dont care, and i shouldnt care...i always jump into things so fast and then make a fool out of myself...hoping to start over and just fucking be me..im gonna stop saying things just so that others around me can hear me and laugh..im gonan talk when i wanna talk..ill say what i wanna say...im done worrying about if someone is getting annoyed or thinks im weird...im sick of trying to keep everyone happy and not start drama...im sick of trying to look cool...im sick of waiting and waiting on one person when in retro-spect...they really dont matter to me...ok, i said it.you can disagree with me all u want S.H. buddies, but its true..i make such a big deal out of "it" when really it doesnt matter to me..its fun to talk about it and pretend that im totally excited, but i dont really care anymore..i love the way i can laugh and the good mood it puts me in, but in reality, its not something that i truly get butterflies for or any shit like that..if things work out, cool...i could always use an extra friend, nothing else but a friend.done.i said it.