publicly going to trash him.
Okay, I don't like that it can be a big ol' fucking group joke about how someone is a "bastard" because...when you are the other end of that...you being the person who was fucked over..everyone condoning their behavior by making a huge joke out of it hurts like a bitch.
I'm using this journal for a place to bitch and whine life is actually pretty god damn good right now..but whenever facebook forces me to think back about all the lies....
How did people KNOW he was cheating on me and NOT FUCKING TELL ME!!!! For MONTHS no one told me "oh he is dating someone" I feel like a huge chump still because of it.
I really don't hold anything against my friends because it was HIS responsibility to man up. And he was a shitty friend to them by putting them in that situation.
It's funny how 2 years later i'm finally angry about the break up....
What i keep trying to get at...is I don't think its funny embracing how people hurt others emotionally. I used to be a part of that joke but now being on the other end....it fucking sucks.
It may seem melodramatic..but it's been hard for me to trust anyone. The thing that gets me is it was a friend a year later who informed me that he was fooling around behind my back far before i realized it for a much longer period of time and with more people.....Now i understand why people thought it was funny that I was that okay being around him. When he told me what he had been doing it was far from the truth.
My pride has been shot as well. I just hate how a picture flashes up on facebook and it's like it's happening all over again.
It's like I don't think it's fair for him to be happy. He's the type that punishes himself over and over again..but then....DOES IT AGAIN! I know it in my heart that Karma will give him what he deserves but sometimes I want to unblock him on Gmail and just let it out on him. BUT, i've noted that with those actions many negative outcomes occur...such as an angry current girlfriend or causing my friends that i care about dearly who are close to the fucking cowardly ass any pain whatsoever.
In summation please think twice before you glorify the celebration of someone elses pain.
I'm constantly reminded why i keep my circle of friends small.
I just can't believe how much this shit still hurts and what hurts more is knowing it's actually a HUGE joke to others.
just had to edit this entry after posting it because dear lord have I lost all sense of grammar (does that make sense?)
Also kind of thought about how i'm being a bit cowardly making the entry but I don't care I want to get this off my chest, its painful.
I'm using this journal for a place to bitch and whine life is actually pretty god damn good right now..but whenever facebook forces me to think back about all the lies....
How did people KNOW he was cheating on me and NOT FUCKING TELL ME!!!! For MONTHS no one told me "oh he is dating someone" I feel like a huge chump still because of it.
I really don't hold anything against my friends because it was HIS responsibility to man up. And he was a shitty friend to them by putting them in that situation.
It's funny how 2 years later i'm finally angry about the break up....
What i keep trying to get at...is I don't think its funny embracing how people hurt others emotionally. I used to be a part of that joke but now being on the other end....it fucking sucks.
It may seem melodramatic..but it's been hard for me to trust anyone. The thing that gets me is it was a friend a year later who informed me that he was fooling around behind my back far before i realized it for a much longer period of time and with more people.....Now i understand why people thought it was funny that I was that okay being around him. When he told me what he had been doing it was far from the truth.
My pride has been shot as well. I just hate how a picture flashes up on facebook and it's like it's happening all over again.
It's like I don't think it's fair for him to be happy. He's the type that punishes himself over and over again..but then....DOES IT AGAIN! I know it in my heart that Karma will give him what he deserves but sometimes I want to unblock him on Gmail and just let it out on him. BUT, i've noted that with those actions many negative outcomes occur...such as an angry current girlfriend or causing my friends that i care about dearly who are close to the fucking cowardly ass any pain whatsoever.
In summation please think twice before you glorify the celebration of someone elses pain.
I'm constantly reminded why i keep my circle of friends small.
I just can't believe how much this shit still hurts and what hurts more is knowing it's actually a HUGE joke to others.
just had to edit this entry after posting it because dear lord have I lost all sense of grammar (does that make sense?)
Also kind of thought about how i'm being a bit cowardly making the entry but I don't care I want to get this off my chest, its painful.