im a big boy now :)
this week has really helped me self reflect and really understand who i am, what i love and who i really care about! it started sunday in fact. i was picked to help clean the yoga studio for free practice and so i was super excited to do so! i was like cinderella cleaning the whole house b/c she was going to go to the ball...yet my ball was my free pass to 530am yoga on monday morning! after my practice i realized i love bikram and the 90 min practice was what i was missing in my life! tuesday also brought some findings i sent my family a mass text message (i know look @ us with paid cell phone bills) i sent out a text saying i love my nieces and nephews. now if u really know me u know im good with kids and yet i dont want any of my own *yet* but at this point i can only handle them in doses, as my bff likes to say. so previous to this mass mailing i had a huge nightmare, one that woke me up in tears yet i couldnt cry in front of the turk, that would be to much? plus he looked so cute zzzzz :) so i tossed and turned and as soon as i got to work i sent out the mailing. i know calls would have been best but hey baby steps...come on! in the message i was restating my true love for family. that even tho i typically dont go around much i really deep down inside love all my family and the thought of loosing them or pain they might face in any situation brings me to tears and always makes me avoid the thought all together cause we all know i avoid confrontation. but i feel i did the right thing. my friend walter said it best. life is to god dam short to not live and love...or something like that. :) WEDNESDAY evening was magical. ive found a great group and even more amazing subgroup of friends who i can share stories and thoughts and food and drinks with. shane, walter, and philip u guys are my new found brotherhood. i love yall bitches and even after dinner i kept thinking how much amzing us 4 are together. thanks! of course i have to mention my turk again :) baby u are one of the best things 2011 brought me askim! i can now understand what a relationship is, how it hurts both of us to be apart and not just me :/ im not one for huge i wonder if, blah blah i like the way we r going and am happy everyday!
lastly, as i look around me i see positive energy. people wanting good and real friends who like to have a cocktail here and there but go to work hard the next day, seek new adventures and networking opportunies everyday, decide to run marathons, like helping others, share and laugh and cry! all amazing people! im happy that at 26 ive found what it is to be a loved, happy with your true self and seeking enjoyment out of life, family and friends! because when its all said and done i want to tweet, my gay life was filled with amazing family and friends all who loved me for me and shared it 100% all the way to the end. #dramatic
:) jsauce
lastly, as i look around me i see positive energy. people wanting good and real friends who like to have a cocktail here and there but go to work hard the next day, seek new adventures and networking opportunies everyday, decide to run marathons, like helping others, share and laugh and cry! all amazing people! im happy that at 26 ive found what it is to be a loved, happy with your true self and seeking enjoyment out of life, family and friends! because when its all said and done i want to tweet, my gay life was filled with amazing family and friends all who loved me for me and shared it 100% all the way to the end. #dramatic
:) jsauce