(no subject)
The thought of deity ran through my mind tonight. Where there was once surety, now is only a clouded sense of doubt. Like reaching out with blinded eyes hoping not to fall off the cliff I know is somewhere around here.
I once believed wholly in a God. Nothing could have shaken my faith and trust in something I could seemingly never fully understand. But as my mind has progressed, it seems to have pulled away from that trust, away from that faith and traded those for doubt, confusion, and in general disorientation around such concepts.
I do not know what I believe on the grounds of God, I seem to believe in a greater being, but at the same time I feel as though I don't. I am caught in the very center of the fence between God and Atheism. I am surprised that one can even stand on such a fence, because it is an extremely thin fence indeed.
And my dyslexia doesn't exactly make this situation any easier, in fact it complicates it more than you can possibly even know. (not to make excuses, I'm just stating a fact)
Will I ever reach the end of this doubt? Or will I just find more questions?
I am not like most atheists whom are so because they cannot understand the concept of free will. Or think there is no God because natural tragedies happen.
Have a tragedy happen and I guarantee you will hear most atheists say the phrase "Oh my God.". I don't know about you, but I see that as highly hypocritical. haha if I ever hear an atheist say that, I'll ask them "and what God is that?"
No, my doubts are not because of petty things like that. My doubts are based around the fact that I can see logic on both sides. I can also see the illogic of both sides. Now do you see my problem? And I cannot stay neutral forever, in a way its impossible. Nor do I want to remain thus. The more I stay neutral, the more disoriented I get it would seem.
And words are beginning to look funny even though they're spelled right, so its time for bed. night.
I once believed wholly in a God. Nothing could have shaken my faith and trust in something I could seemingly never fully understand. But as my mind has progressed, it seems to have pulled away from that trust, away from that faith and traded those for doubt, confusion, and in general disorientation around such concepts.
I do not know what I believe on the grounds of God, I seem to believe in a greater being, but at the same time I feel as though I don't. I am caught in the very center of the fence between God and Atheism. I am surprised that one can even stand on such a fence, because it is an extremely thin fence indeed.
And my dyslexia doesn't exactly make this situation any easier, in fact it complicates it more than you can possibly even know. (not to make excuses, I'm just stating a fact)
Will I ever reach the end of this doubt? Or will I just find more questions?
I am not like most atheists whom are so because they cannot understand the concept of free will. Or think there is no God because natural tragedies happen.
Have a tragedy happen and I guarantee you will hear most atheists say the phrase "Oh my God.". I don't know about you, but I see that as highly hypocritical. haha if I ever hear an atheist say that, I'll ask them "and what God is that?"
No, my doubts are not because of petty things like that. My doubts are based around the fact that I can see logic on both sides. I can also see the illogic of both sides. Now do you see my problem? And I cannot stay neutral forever, in a way its impossible. Nor do I want to remain thus. The more I stay neutral, the more disoriented I get it would seem.
And words are beginning to look funny even though they're spelled right, so its time for bed. night.