On a lighter note from that last post
I LIKE TO EAT NUTS.
Take that as you will.
So, I have this annoying tendency to have this strange dreams that are either partially prophetic or are just so crazy that they would make amazing stories. The following is a case of the "please let this only be a crazy story" kind of dream, because if this is prophetic than I'm ... worried about my sanity.
So, Cael (we're not gonna call him me, because, srsly, I don't want this to happen) is living in the Bay Area--not SF itself, but around there, ya know?--and teaching as he always hoped to, and is a DUDE, and stuff of this sort. He shares his apartment with this guy, Michael. Michael is good looking. Michael is smart. Michael only pays about a third of the bills, because Michael works two part time jobs and is working at school because he got his GED and then didn't go to school for a few years, but Cael has sorta demanded that he go back to school and make something of himself. Michael knows not to hug Cael from behind, because it freaks Cael out a little bit. He doesn't ask who "Sayde" and "Rachelle" and "Hilary" are, and he doesn't ask about sometimes coming home to find that Cael's invited a girl home.
Except, ya know, Cael and Michael are totally an item. From the looks of it, they have been for a while. Cael, at time, introduces Michael as "my partner" or just "my boyfriend", and Michael doesn't date other people. And they have sex. Michael is always on bottom, and it's not like he's complaining or anything, but couldn't they maybe try to switch it up a little?
No.
Okay, Michael can understand that. He's even starting to get Cael to the point where he can touch his back and maybe hug him from behind if he makes a lot of noise or says he's going to hug him.
...
Now, understand, I have no inherent issue with this as it is, but FUCK, it scares me a lot. Because, OMG, that is totally the situation I'd get myself into, and I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to come home and have somebody there playing with my stupid dobermen and feeding my cat and telling me to feed the beta or else it's gonna die. I don't want to have to explain my terror of sex. Girls are safe. Girls aren't going to ... do anything.
But jesus. I'm not saying that I like guys like that, but I can deal with that. That's a lie. I can't control the sexual aspect of a relationship. I would end up with this guy, and then everything would happen, and I would cry. I don't want to be this guy, but I have no idea how to stop it.
ADMITTEDLY, THIS IS WHEN CAEL IS LIKE THIRTY. BECAUSE SOMEHOW HE COMES UP WITH 70K TO GET A PENIS. I GUESS THIS IS WHAT THESE THINGS DEPEND ON?
I suppose that was only a lighter note in the fact that I wasn't mentally punching walls.
Take that as you will.
So, I have this annoying tendency to have this strange dreams that are either partially prophetic or are just so crazy that they would make amazing stories. The following is a case of the "please let this only be a crazy story" kind of dream, because if this is prophetic than I'm ... worried about my sanity.
So, Cael (we're not gonna call him me, because, srsly, I don't want this to happen) is living in the Bay Area--not SF itself, but around there, ya know?--and teaching as he always hoped to, and is a DUDE, and stuff of this sort. He shares his apartment with this guy, Michael. Michael is good looking. Michael is smart. Michael only pays about a third of the bills, because Michael works two part time jobs and is working at school because he got his GED and then didn't go to school for a few years, but Cael has sorta demanded that he go back to school and make something of himself. Michael knows not to hug Cael from behind, because it freaks Cael out a little bit. He doesn't ask who "Sayde" and "Rachelle" and "Hilary" are, and he doesn't ask about sometimes coming home to find that Cael's invited a girl home.
Except, ya know, Cael and Michael are totally an item. From the looks of it, they have been for a while. Cael, at time, introduces Michael as "my partner" or just "my boyfriend", and Michael doesn't date other people. And they have sex. Michael is always on bottom, and it's not like he's complaining or anything, but couldn't they maybe try to switch it up a little?
No.
Okay, Michael can understand that. He's even starting to get Cael to the point where he can touch his back and maybe hug him from behind if he makes a lot of noise or says he's going to hug him.
...
Now, understand, I have no inherent issue with this as it is, but FUCK, it scares me a lot. Because, OMG, that is totally the situation I'd get myself into, and I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to come home and have somebody there playing with my stupid dobermen and feeding my cat and telling me to feed the beta or else it's gonna die. I don't want to have to explain my terror of sex. Girls are safe. Girls aren't going to ... do anything.
But jesus. I'm not saying that I like guys like that, but I can deal with that. That's a lie. I can't control the sexual aspect of a relationship. I would end up with this guy, and then everything would happen, and I would cry. I don't want to be this guy, but I have no idea how to stop it.
ADMITTEDLY, THIS IS WHEN CAEL IS LIKE THIRTY. BECAUSE SOMEHOW HE COMES UP WITH 70K TO GET A PENIS. I GUESS THIS IS WHAT THESE THINGS DEPEND ON?
I suppose that was only a lighter note in the fact that I wasn't mentally punching walls.