interesting day
today i learned a few things that i really was wacky and i have better friends than i thought many people kept telling me to keep waiting and trying to get amy back i think and probably know that this will never happen the things i cherish in my life have a way of running away from me.. im like elvira from tinytoons i love em ,hold em ,and squeeze them then ducky go down the hole . none the less i think this 3 year lesson in life has finally hit home today i learned from my boy that she wanted to never hear from me again like a month ago doh i knew that 2 months ago but i didnt know that this was un-fixable thats new news to me and i needed to hear it. in my opinion i got what i wanted freedom or the ability to fix the issues that were driving us apart. i like an idiot gave the girl choice to stay or go she choose the easy route things of this nature are far to explosive i gave almost everything i enjoyed in my life up and it did nothing.. except almost cost me a dear friendship with a wonderful woman (hint hint) which will never happen again.. dwight i have to admit my boy helped me alot. i will relapse into this again time and time again in my dreams i cant control those but in life i am going to try and not think of her anymore.. like its that easy bah if only. at least i know now that there is no chance in going back to what i had but to take away the lessons i have learned and the way i have changed for the better i think was well worth the effort. i know now i will try to keep lines of communication open more, relax a lil bit, try to work on open issues that other people have with me , and to listen more .patience i have and always will im a strong enough person to not think of the last 3 years as a waste. i have learned how to treat someone, how to love someone, how to let someone love me, the true friends that i have and the users in my life(most cut),the things in my own life that have or need to be changed,i love my family more than i thought,to check out who i want to marry a little bit more than i did before,and i finally got my bills in order, trivial things like games and chat have no space in my life anymore and will not be given the chance to mess things up again. from now on i will also go and do the things i enjoy in life and hopefully the person that falls for me will understand that i like the things that i like and try a few of them..