Because I'm feel melodramatic
My body has always been kind of wonky, and while my cycle isn’t exactly irregular (with the exception of my first year of college where I just... STOPPED getting my period for nearly five months) , it doesn’t run like clockwork, either, and my period can either be a painless, two day affair, or trickle on for five or six days. Also, I’m really bad at tracking it. Whatever.
Lately I haven’t been feeling great, and a couple of weird body things have happened, and today I get this random, weird spotting, and of course, because I am a rational person, I don’t think, “Oh, it must be time for my period,” instead my mind screams “IMPLANTATION BLEEDING” because I’m constantly in a state of pregnancy panic and because my period doesn’t usually start like this, but what the fuck is “usual” for the start of my period?? Because even after 20+ years (because yes, I got on this motherfucking train at ALMOST 9 years old and I’m ready to get the fuck off already), my body always finds fun new ways to surprise me, and no, I don’t track when I have sex either, because it’s sporadic and not at all often enough because we both have shitty schedules and are 1.) almost never home at the same time, and 2.) fucking exhausted when we are.
So of course I go online and Google signs of early pregnancy (because, as we have established, I am a rational person), and of course, all the crap that has been going on with my body lately fit (fatigue, vaginal discharge, constipation, backache, frequent urination, mood swings, spotting) and yeah, those are really vague symptoms THAT COULD ALSO BE SIGN OF PMS, FUCK YOU, BODY, WHAT THE FUCK. It’s not fair, you should NOT allow two completely OPPOSITE states of being to present IN THE SAME FUCKING WAY.
So, long story short(er), I've been freaking the fuck out, and if this weird spotty-bleeding doesn’t turn into an actual menstrual period by tomorrow, I’m buying an EPT, because fuck this. I’m trying to be reasonable about this, because the chances are fairly slim, but I’d be lying if I said they were non-existent. In my heart of hearts, I'm pretty sure this is just a wonky start to my period but yeah, way to go, Self, for automatically jumping to the most dramatic conclusion.
So yeah, on top of that, we once again did a bang-up goddamn job preparing for MCAS wherein we ran out of calculators five minutes before testing started and as a result started late and OH YEAH scheduled a half day for the second day of MCAS tomorrow because we are master planners and everything we do around here makes total goddamn sense; OH, and the student I'm supposed to make sure arrives to class for "safety reasons" never made it to the second half of Block Four and I was really patient and then promptly flipped the fuck out and told everyone een mariginally related to her case and then shrugged my shoulders, took a deep breath,a nd tried to tell myself not to obsess about it to limited success.
You know, maybe I should reconsider what I wrote under the cut, because upon further reflection, I do feel startlingly pre-menstrual.
SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE HELL IT'S ONLY TUESDAY.
Lately I haven’t been feeling great, and a couple of weird body things have happened, and today I get this random, weird spotting, and of course, because I am a rational person, I don’t think, “Oh, it must be time for my period,” instead my mind screams “IMPLANTATION BLEEDING” because I’m constantly in a state of pregnancy panic and because my period doesn’t usually start like this, but what the fuck is “usual” for the start of my period?? Because even after 20+ years (because yes, I got on this motherfucking train at ALMOST 9 years old and I’m ready to get the fuck off already), my body always finds fun new ways to surprise me, and no, I don’t track when I have sex either, because it’s sporadic and not at all often enough because we both have shitty schedules and are 1.) almost never home at the same time, and 2.) fucking exhausted when we are.
So of course I go online and Google signs of early pregnancy (because, as we have established, I am a rational person), and of course, all the crap that has been going on with my body lately fit (fatigue, vaginal discharge, constipation, backache, frequent urination, mood swings, spotting) and yeah, those are really vague symptoms THAT COULD ALSO BE SIGN OF PMS, FUCK YOU, BODY, WHAT THE FUCK. It’s not fair, you should NOT allow two completely OPPOSITE states of being to present IN THE SAME FUCKING WAY.
So, long story short(er), I've been freaking the fuck out, and if this weird spotty-bleeding doesn’t turn into an actual menstrual period by tomorrow, I’m buying an EPT, because fuck this. I’m trying to be reasonable about this, because the chances are fairly slim, but I’d be lying if I said they were non-existent. In my heart of hearts, I'm pretty sure this is just a wonky start to my period but yeah, way to go, Self, for automatically jumping to the most dramatic conclusion.
So yeah, on top of that, we once again did a bang-up goddamn job preparing for MCAS wherein we ran out of calculators five minutes before testing started and as a result started late and OH YEAH scheduled a half day for the second day of MCAS tomorrow because we are master planners and everything we do around here makes total goddamn sense; OH, and the student I'm supposed to make sure arrives to class for "safety reasons" never made it to the second half of Block Four and I was really patient and then promptly flipped the fuck out and told everyone een mariginally related to her case and then shrugged my shoulders, took a deep breath,a nd tried to tell myself not to obsess about it to limited success.
You know, maybe I should reconsider what I wrote under the cut, because upon further reflection, I do feel startlingly pre-menstrual.
SOMEONE TELL ME WHY THE HELL IT'S ONLY TUESDAY.