(no subject)
love.
hate.
i dont know which is stronger right now. had i not loved you as a person i would not cry everytime i think your name. do i not hate you now for all of the tears and the pain you have caused me. i feel ruined and destroyed from what you have done. i dont think i will ever recover fully from this. ever. yet still the love equals the hate, and i will continue to cry whenever i think of all this. i am changed.
if you were here next to me, i don't know how i would react. i know i would cry. much harder than i have ever cried before. but then i would be lost. part of me wants to hit you, part of me wants to hug you. damn you for putting me through this. no one could possibly understand the pain you have caused me. no one.
this has been the hardest thing ever for me to say or type. i cant even see the fuckin screen anymore, so i have closed my eyes. i'm so scared. i'm so hurt. i'm so torn.
this is my last livejournal entry ever.
i'm done.
hate.
i dont know which is stronger right now. had i not loved you as a person i would not cry everytime i think your name. do i not hate you now for all of the tears and the pain you have caused me. i feel ruined and destroyed from what you have done. i dont think i will ever recover fully from this. ever. yet still the love equals the hate, and i will continue to cry whenever i think of all this. i am changed.
if you were here next to me, i don't know how i would react. i know i would cry. much harder than i have ever cried before. but then i would be lost. part of me wants to hit you, part of me wants to hug you. damn you for putting me through this. no one could possibly understand the pain you have caused me. no one.
this has been the hardest thing ever for me to say or type. i cant even see the fuckin screen anymore, so i have closed my eyes. i'm so scared. i'm so hurt. i'm so torn.
this is my last livejournal entry ever.
i'm done.