summer from hell
hey guyz...haven't updated in a while....to the four of you who actually read this...in case you haven't noticed my summer blows...i've been working my ass off all summer which would have been fine if i could have spent the money...but no i can't now because i dented two cars in my own driveway this afternoon...which lucky for me...the damages amount to exactly my summer wages....add on top of this the plethera of family issues i've been facing lately...and the fact that when summer is over some of my best friends will be leaving me behind (yeh and thats after i've spent a summer by myself while everyone leaves on vacation and camp for months at a time).
Now that i've vented, I seriously need to restate a well known fact. I'm terrified of being alone and i'm terrified of silence. People who know me well know these two things. I haven't spent this much time alone since i lived in atl. And i'm not talking physically alone...tonight i was in a room full of people and i felt invisible...Yeh ppl talked to me...but i was just sitting there in isolation...i was alone...i hate solitude and the longer i feel like that the quieter and quieter I am...then i enter the other thing that i fear the most...silence. yes i'm screwed up...i know that...its just two things that a normal person should be able to handle...but i can't...i'm going to break...and it'll be soon.
Now that i've vented, I seriously need to restate a well known fact. I'm terrified of being alone and i'm terrified of silence. People who know me well know these two things. I haven't spent this much time alone since i lived in atl. And i'm not talking physically alone...tonight i was in a room full of people and i felt invisible...Yeh ppl talked to me...but i was just sitting there in isolation...i was alone...i hate solitude and the longer i feel like that the quieter and quieter I am...then i enter the other thing that i fear the most...silence. yes i'm screwed up...i know that...its just two things that a normal person should be able to handle...but i can't...i'm going to break...and it'll be soon.