overwhelmed
..here I am three hours later..or something like that anyway. I can see I'm gonna be taking advantage of this journal. I am sitting here, day in, day out, for the last week almost, with the exception of going out a couple hours with some friends.I spend to much time at home, it gives me to much time to think about things,especially the things I don't want to think about, which seems like everything these days. I need to get out of here, I feel trapped and isolated, I need to experience life on my own now, without someone telling me when and how to do it and what I can and can't do.
I thought for a while that moving into Town seemed far enough, that it would be good to go there and get away from it all. Now that August is approaching Town just doesn't feel big enough or far enough.I want more I want something exciting or maybe I just want happiness and I think that distance from here is going to get me it. I don't know, I can't figure myself out, I am lost with everything, school, my future, my family..everything is slipping out of my hands and I can't get a hold of anything so I just let it go and try not to think about it,but thats the problem I can't help but think about it, the shit is always on my mind overwhelming me and taking control of my life, and I am left feeling more confused and messed up,the more I think about it all, the more it hurts. I just want to sleep everything away..make it all leave..but its not going to happen, not now not ever..its like a disease and I am stuck with it for life.
I thought for a while that moving into Town seemed far enough, that it would be good to go there and get away from it all. Now that August is approaching Town just doesn't feel big enough or far enough.I want more I want something exciting or maybe I just want happiness and I think that distance from here is going to get me it. I don't know, I can't figure myself out, I am lost with everything, school, my future, my family..everything is slipping out of my hands and I can't get a hold of anything so I just let it go and try not to think about it,but thats the problem I can't help but think about it, the shit is always on my mind overwhelming me and taking control of my life, and I am left feeling more confused and messed up,the more I think about it all, the more it hurts. I just want to sleep everything away..make it all leave..but its not going to happen, not now not ever..its like a disease and I am stuck with it for life.