Balance (1/2)
Title: Balance
Author: wildcat88
Approx Word Count: 13,000
Genre: Angst
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Spoiler Warning: Everything through The Daedalus Variations
Pairing: McKay/OFC
Summary: When life crumbles for Rodney McKay, a special emissary is sent to help him find his way. It's a Wonderful Life SGA style.
Author’s Notes: Many thanks to leesa_perrie and jayne_perry for the beta. All faults mine.
Janus strolled through the corridors of Atlantis, a smile playing on his lips. How he loved this city. He drifted into the cafeteria, enjoying the snippets of conversation, the laughter, the gestures of affection. So much had changed since Weir’s people arrived. Thousands lived here now - expedition members and their families, refugees from the Wraith, even Jaffa and Tok’ra. Janus had watched over these people since their arrival; he had kept an eye on certain ones long before that. The Others had frowned upon his occasional interference, but he thought of these people as his children, and when they had needed a ‘lucky break,’ he had provided it. Today he would push that non-interference line further than he ever had.
Unseen to the inhabitants of the mess hall, Clarika blazed in and corkscrewed to a stop next to Janus. She certainly had style especially for one so new to this plane of existence. “Is my assignment in here?” she asked with a final bounce.
Janus chuckled as her form flickered from white light to short red-head. “No. He’s in his lab. This way.” He led her toward Science Tower Four, floating over the city as they exited one building and entered another.
“The Others?” she asked.
“Teer, Hedda, and their people are covering us, blinding the Others to our presence here. As soon as you know what’s needed, I’ll leave and draw their attention to another place while our faction continues to provide coverage for you.”
“Will you be all right?”
“I’ve been doing this for millennia, and they haven’t punished me yet,” Janus answered with a grin.
They swooped into a lab filled with laptops, coffee cups, and scribbled-on whiteboards. A man with a lined face and gray liberally sprinkled through his hair sat with his head in his hands, staring blindly at a video continuously looping on the monitor in front of him.
“Meet Dr. Rodney McKay.”
“Why is he so sad?” Clarika asked, sinking into the desk, her face peering through the monitor.
Janus sighed. “Why don’t we start at the beginning?” Touching her hand, he whisked her back in time.
xxx
“I don’t understand, Daddy. Where is Mommy going?”
“Awww…. He was a cute kid,” Clarika said. “His mother left?”
“Not willingly. She was diagnosed with cancer, a fatal disease in this time and place. His father was obsessed with saving her, leaving Rodney - Meredith as he was called then - to care for himself and his sister. A heavy burden for a seven year old.”
Peter McKay stuffed his research in his briefcase and dug in his pocket for car keys. “I don’t have time for this again, Meredith. I have to get back to the lab.”
“But, Daddy-”
“Not now! And no more calls to the hospital. Your mother needs her rest.”
Rodney flinched as the door slammed. Jeannie slipped her hand in his. “It’s okay, Mer. Daddy will fix her.”
His fingers tightened around hers, blinking away the tears that had gathered in his eyes. “Come on. I’ll make you a sandwich.”
Janus shook his head sadly as they flitted forward in time. “Rodney’s mother died a few weeks later. His father remarried a year after that, choosing a woman as focused on her career as he was on his. She laid the blame for every argument they ever had squarely on Rodney’s shoulders. He struggled under the pressure; he searched to find his place, his purpose.”
Time flicked by, showing a growing Rodney playing with Legos, dabbling with a chemistry set, teaching himself French, sitting at a piano stiff-lipped and staring straight ahead as an older man spoke.
“You are technically proficient, Mr. McKay, but you have no artistry. Perhaps you should try something besides piano.”
“Each failure pushed him a little further into himself. He never touched a piano again; he refused to play baseball again after he failed to catch one fly ball. He concentrated on his studies, his proudest moment being the bomb he created in grade six. Life became about proving himself worthy.”
Jeannie handed Rodney an envelope with a MENSA return address. “So?”
Rodney wiped his hands on the hem of his shirt and ripped the letter open. And smiled.
“Each success drove him harder until being the best was the only thing that mattered. Top of his class, graduating two years early. His Bachelor’s by nineteen, Master’s at twenty-one. His second PhD by twenty-six. Science became his life, his obsession. He abandoned his family, his childhood dreams, all attempts at friendship. He didn’t care who he hurt or stepped on to get what he wanted.”
“That was my internship, McKay! How dare you sabotage it!” Angelica trembled with rage as she cleaned out her desk.
Rodney rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Sabotage? I simply pointed out your lack of proficiency in, oh… everything. They needed someone who actually knew what he was doing. Namely me.”
“Are you sure this is the kind of man we need?” Clarika asked.
Janus smiled indulgently. “People can change. Rodney was meant to be here. Everything in his life pointed him to Atlantis - his passion for science, his discarded family connections, his work for the Air Force, his assignment to the SGC, his banishment to Russia. What he needed was here. It was no accident that Elizabeth Weir, Carson Beckett, Radek Zelenka, and John Sheppard were members of the expedition. It was no accident that Athos was the address Rodney chose when they arrived. It was no accident that they visited the planet Ronon Dex was on at exactly the right time.”
“You all right, McKay?” Sheppard asked.
Rodney stared at the ocean, his back ramrod straight. “Fine. Never better.”
“Hmmm.” John leaned his elbows on the railing, the breeze raking through his hair. “Losing people is never easy, you know. I puked my guts out the first time someone under my command was killed.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Rodney’s shoulders slumped as his chin dropped to his chest. “First Gall and Abrams. Now Johnson, Wagner, Dumais, and Hays. All in the same day. I- I don’t- How do you-”
“You don’t give up. You focus on the job at hand and the ones who are still alive.”
They stood silently, listening to the waves crash against the pier below. After a while, Sheppard nudged McKay. “Wanna get some dinner?”
Rodney shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” He followed Sheppard to the door, stopping before they crossed the threshold. “Does it get easier?”
“No. And that’s good. It means you still care.”
“What if I don’t want to care?”
“Too late, McKay. You already do.”
xxx
Rodney stumbled into the back of the jumper, his arms slung over the shoulders of Sheppard and Zelenka. They gently laid him on a rear bench then moved to the front, powering up and rising from the ocean floor. He moaned, pressing the heel of one hand to his temple which was bleeding again.
“We have you, Rodney. We’ll be back in the city in minutes.”
“I knew you’d figure it out, Radek. Deep down, a part of me knew you’d find me and get me out of here.”
“Now I know he is delirious, Colonel. Rodney McKay would never say anything like that.”
“The whale didn’t even eat me.”
Sheppard glanced over his shoulder. “Hang in there, McKay. I’m trying to balance the pressure while getting us out of here before the shield dies.”
He smiled as his eyes drifted shut. “I knew you’d come.”
xxx
Rodney wrapped his arms around the base of the commode, leaning his head against the seat during a momentary reprieve.
“You done?” Ronon asked.
“No.”
“Is this your people’s way of honoring the dead?”
“This is my way of trying to forget my best friend is dead.”
“Puking for hours does that?”
“No, the drinking was supposed to do that.”
“Did it?”
Rodney sighed. “No. I can still hear the explosion.”
Ronon slid down to the floor, elbows on his knees.
“What are you doing?” McKay moaned.
“Waiting.”
“For what?”
“You.”
“Why?”
Ronon leaned his head against the wall. “’Cause that’s what we do.”
xxx
Rodney huddled in the corner of the darkened office now clear of its contents save a lone box on the desk. “This can’t be happening,” he whispered.
The lights blared to life when Teyla entered. She picked up the box and turned, startling at his presence. “Rodney? What are you doing?”
“What? Oh, ah, I was… just, uh-”
She set the box in a chair and waved the lights to low then moved to his side, pressing her back against the wall to his right. “I miss her, too.”
A shudder ran his length as he closed his eyes. “I can’t get the image of her running from the jumper out of my mind.”
“Rodney-”
“It’s my fault, Teyla,” he whispered. “If I hadn’t reactivated her nanites-”
“-we would not have a ZPM, and we would all be dead.” She faced him, gently lifting his chin until his eyes met hers. “To sacrifice your life for another is the most precious gift that can be given. Elizabeth knew what she was doing. Nothing was more important to her than the safety of this city. If she is out there, we will find her. Until then, honor her by accepting the gift she has given you, given all of us.”
“Do you really think we’ll find her?”
Teyla touched her forehead to his. “We will never stop looking.”
xxx
Rodney’s eyes never left the cafeteria entrance, the tray in front of him still untouched. His face lit up as a slender woman with red hair tucked behind her ears entered. He stood slightly and waved.
“Who is this?” Clarika asked, freezing time as she studied the two. “Obviously someone important to him.”
“This is Katie Brown. She and the next person we’ll meet had a profound effect on him. The changes in him that resulted from being on Sheppard’s team were only the beginning.”
“Hi, Rodney,” Katie called, grabbing a sandwich and bottle of water then hurrying to his table.
“How are things in the botany lab today?”
Her face brightened. “We found the most amazing plant on the mainland. It sings! Can you imagine?”
“Wow.” His eyes glazed over, and he propped his chin on his palm.
“He doesn’t look very interested,” Clarika noted as Katie chattered on.
“He isn’t. But the important part is that he’s listening. While this relationship won’t last, he’s learning how to put the needs of another above his own. She will teach him how to be close to someone, will stir a longing in him he didn’t know he had. Before Katie, Rodney had sworn off ever getting married.”
xxx
“Just for a minute,” Teyla said. “Please, Rodney. Kanaan was to meet me here to take Torren, but he has been called to a council meeting, and I simply cannot leave the Mourrecan delegation with Mr. Woolsey.”
Rodney’s eyes bulged. “You wouldn’t let me hold him for weeks, and now you want me to take care of your kid while you negotiate? Are you crazy?”
“No, desperate.” She smiled slyly at him. “They are the ones who provide the quariq bean. What you use for your coffee.”
“Aw, that’s cheating.”
She arched a brow at him. “Very well. I will stay with Torren and let Mr. Woolsey handle the trade agreement.”
“No, no, no, no. You know he’ll never ask for coffee beans.” Rodney grimaced and held out his arms. “Give him here.”
Teyla placed her swaddled son gently in Rodney’s arms. “You will be fine. Everything you need is in the pack.”
“And if he starts crying?”
She grinned. “Talk to him. That should put him to sleep immediately.”
Rodney stared at her back as she hurried out of the cafeteria. “I think I’ve just been insulted.” He glanced down at Torren. “Your mother has been spending too much time around Sheppard and Ronon. And Keller. And Zelenka.”
Torren yawned then blinked sleepily.
“Oh. Oh no. Please go back to sleep.”
Wriggling, Torren worked one arm loose and reached for Rodney’s face. McKay tried to grasp the boy’s arm to tuck it back in.
“This is such a bad idea. Now you’re going to catch cold, and Teyla will kill me with those sticks. Which hurt, by the way. I finally convinced Ronon that some self-defense moves would be more beneficial than trying to teach me to beat someone with….”
He trailed off as Torren laughed and clutched a fist around his forefinger.
“Hey, that’s quite a grip you’ve got there. What’s Teyla been feeding you? Ah, never mind. I really don’t want an answer to that.”
Torren giggled again and tugged Rodney’s finger toward his mouth.
“I need that finger, you know. I mean, how would I explain to the scientific community that I was mere centimeters from the Theory of Unification until a baby gnawed my finger off?”
Rodney’s face softened as Torren cooed and stared transfixed at him. Ignoring the baby slobber, he stroked a free finger down the boy’s cheek. Torren snuggled into Rodney’s chest with a sigh and promptly fell asleep. Rodney patted him awkwardly then turned back to his tray, finishing his lunch one-handed.
“What is he humming?”
“A lullaby his mother sang to him,” Janus answered. “I doubt he realizes he’s doing it. Children have always irritated Rodney even when he was a child. He doesn’t understand them, and he certainly never wanted to have any of his own.”
“Until Torren,” Clarika guessed.
“Exactly. Being around Teyla’s son on a daily basis, and watching his teammates with him, opened a door.”
“Does he get married? Does he have kids?”
“Patience. We’re getting there.” Janus chuckled at her curiosity. Still so much to learn. “Rodney dated off and on over the next couple of years - Jennifer Keller, Anna Guilderoy, Rachel Simms. But each relationship ended up in friendship only. Then he met Hannah Alvarez.”
xxx
The doors to the conference swung open, and Woolsey entered followed closely by a dark-haired woman in a tailored business suit and spike heels. Eyebrows shot up as she took the seat next to him and handed him a file.
“Good morning,” Woolsey greeted. “I would like to introduce Hannah Alvarez. She’s been serving with the IOA for the past five years, overseeing the SGC budget. She will be assisting me in the administration of the city.”
Introductions were made around the table, and she smiled as she took in each face. “Very nice to meet all of you. I’m thrilled to be here.”
The meeting proceeded like all the others except with Hannah taking notes and juggling folders. Woolsey stood at the end of the meeting.
“One last item. Now that Ms. Alvarez is here, I would like all reports and requisitions to go through her first. She will pass along anything that needs my attention. If she makes a request, she is doing so on my behalf; please respond promptly. Thank you, everyone.”
“Great,” Rodney moaned as the room emptied. “A glorified secretary gets to decide whether or not to greenlight the neutronium I need.”
Sheppard pushed away from the table. “Ease up, McKay. She may be easier to deal with than Woolsey.”
“Oh, please. Did you see how tight that bun was? Her eyes were practically on the sides of her head.”
“Wasn’t looking at her hair,” Ronon mumbled, ducking a swat from Teyla.
“She was hot,” Sheppard agreed.
“Hot?” McKay squeaked. “Would you get your minds out of the gutter? She’s just one more layer of red tape.”
xxx
“Dr. McKay?”
Rodney sagged as Hannah’s voice called through his lab door. The chime had gone unanswered for the last few minutes. “Guess you didn’t take the hint,” he muttered, stomping to the door to open it. He glared down at her. “What?”
She brushed past him, a file in her hand. “I need to speak with you about the last personnel request you sent in.” She perched on a stool, smoothing the jacket to her Atlantis standard uniform. “It was incomplete.”
“What about ‘I need more people’ is unclear to you?”
“I didn’t say unclear. I said incomplete. There are several-”
Rodney marched back to his workstation. “Maybe you have the time to waste on filling in little blanks, but I have actual work to do.” He glanced up at her. “You know, keeping the city running and all? So, go… file your nails or something.”
Hannah cocked her head to the side, a slight smile on her face. “I apologize for the intrusion, Doctor.” She hopped off the stool and breezed through the doors.
He watched her go then shook himself and turned back to his work. “Get a grip, McKay.”
xxx
“Where the hell is my new chemist? I distinctly remember filling out all the forms. In triplicate. I needed him here last week.” McKay’s face was red as he paced in front of Hannah’s desk, her office on the opposite side of the gateroom from Woolsey’s. “Well?”
“I’m sorry, Doctor. I don’t have a request for a chemist.” She pulled a form from a file. “I do have an incomplete request for personnel. You might remember that I tried to discuss this with you about a month ago.”
“You mean you’ve been sitting on this because I have more important things to do than quibble over some minutiae on one of your damn forms? And what the hell is with all the paper? Haven’t you people ever heard of computers?” Spittle flew as Rodney shouted in her face. “You’re a bigger moron than I thought. Where is Woolsey?”
Hannah pulled off her glasses and leaned back calmly. “Mr. Woolsey is in a meeting with Ms. Emmagan and the elders from Lebuerg.”
Rodney’s jaw worked as they held a staring contest. She smiled at his death glare, not backing down.
“What will it take to get my chemist here?” he finally asked.
“You telling me you need a chemist.” She handed him the form. The space for Position Needed was empty.
“You couldn’t figure that out from the job description?”
“What job description?” she asked.
“The one attached…. Oh.”
“Yes. Oh.” Hannah smiled sweetly at him. “Now, if you’ll finish filling out the request, I’ll be happy to fast track it.”
“I’m sure you will.”
Her smile faded. “I’m not your enemy, Doctor. I want to do everything I can to help Atlantis run as effectively as possible. I want to help.”
“Yes, um, well….” The blush started at his neck and worked its way up.
“Doctor?”
“I’ll, uh, get this back to you soon.” His blush deepened. “And, ah, you can, you know, call me Rodney.”
xxx
“Help me!” Rodney screamed as he stumbled through the gate, dragging Ronon behind him.
“The med team is almost here,” Woolsey informed him. “What happened?”
Rodney dropped to his knees and hugged Ronon to him, rubbing the man’s chest vigorously while water dripped from his hair, hands, clothing, boots, the tip of his nose. “Damn idiot jumped in an icy river trying to save some locals.”
“How long?” Keller called as her team rushed into the room.
“Oh, thank God.” Rodney scooted out of their way, sinking onto a step. “I don’t know. Fifteen minutes maybe. I had to do a few chest compressions to get the water out of his lungs. He stopped shivering before we got to the gate.”
“Where are Colonel Sheppard and Teyla?” Woolsey asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
“On their way. They were at the settlement finishing the negotiations when it happened. Sheppard told me to get Ronon home.” Rodney turned to Keller. “Is he going to be okay?”
Keller helped the team get Ronon on a gurney as she answered. “I think so. His body temperature is dangerously low, but he’s a fighter.” She buckled the last strap. “Let’s go.”
Rodney glanced up as a warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Hannah closed it in the front and rubbed his arms briskly. “Did Ronon save them?” she asked. “The locals?”
“Some of them. The others… well, the current was incredibly strong.”
“And you jumped in after him?”
His teeth chattered as his nose and ears reddened. “Well, I couldn’t just sit there and watch him drown. We don’t leave our people behind, you know.”
She considered him thoughtfully then smiled. “I’ve heard that. You should take a hot shower and change. You’re soaking wet.”
He glanced at her hands as they ran over his shoulders and down his chest. “I am? Oh, I am. I should do that… though I’ve probably already caught pneumonia. Ronon’s going to owe me dessert for a month after this.” Rodney grinned. “I saved his life. He’ll hate that, probably have to save mine the next three times to consider us even.”
Hannah pulled him to his feet and pushed him in the direction of crew quarters. “Go. Now.”
Rodney frowned at her over his shoulder as he made his way to the transporter, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. “I’m going. And not because you said so. Keller won’t let me in the infirmary like this.”
She smiled to herself as he disappeared into the transporter. “Who are you, Rodney McKay?”
xxx
“That woman is driving me crazy,” McKay announced as he plopped into the cafeteria chair. “Nothing I do is good enough for her. She constantly nitpicks.” He slumped in his seat, sulking. “Yesterday she dropped by my lab to discuss my allegedly hard-to-read handwriting. Said she couldn’t make out what I wanted to order. As if you could mistake a spectrofluorometer with anything else.”
Sheppard exchanged an amused glance with Ronon while Teyla covered a smile with her napkin.
“What?” Rodney demanded.
“She likes you,” Sheppard said.
“Are you nuts? She hates me.”
Teyla laughed out loud. “Oh, Rodney. Can you not see she is inventing excuses to spend time with you?”
“That’s not- I mean…. Really?”
“Amazes me, too,” Sheppard teased. “But she’s flirting with you.”
“Geek attraction.” Ronon stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth. “It’s weird.”
“Hey!” Rodney protested then his brow wrinkled. “You really think she likes me? Me?”
Teyla patted his hand. “I am certain of it.”
“Seriously, McKay, you should be getting better at this.” Sheppard swiped the last brownie, grinning at Ronon’s scowl. “Unless you’re not interested.”
“I’ve never really thought- Okay maybe I thought about her that way, but I never considered…. I mean, she’s beautiful and smart - in an MBA kind of way because she’s brainless when it comes to science. She’s kind to everybody. And she never gets mad. How is that possible?”
“She gets angry, I assure you,” Teyla said. “She simply holds it inside until she has the time to release it. She has destroyed more than one set of bantos rods.”
Rodney’s eyes widened. “Is she any good?”
Teyla laughed. “No. But she tries.”
“She’s as coordinated as you are,” Ronon added.
“What are you trying to say?” Rodney stared at each one in turn as they laughed. “Fine. I admit that I’m not the most athletic. And if this is some kind of joke you’ve cooked up to make me look stupid in front of her, you will never have hot water again. Ever. Maybe no life support at all.”
“We would not do something like that,” Teyla assured him.
Sheppard winked at her then turned to Rodney. “You know what to do this time?”
McKay sighed. “Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
“Not in your lifetime,” Sheppard replied with a grin.
“I don’t need any help, thank you, Don Juan. Now, if you’ll excuse me….”
Rodney pushed away from the table, dumped his tray, and headed to the gateroom where he found Hannah in her office blinking blearily at her computer screen.
She looked up when he cleared his throat. “Good afternoon, Doc- I mean Rodney. What can I do for you?”
“Um, yeah, hi. Listen, I was wondering if later on you might want to… maybe, uh, havedinnerwithme.”
Pulling the black-rimmed glasses from her face, she rubbed her eyes tiredly. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day already-”
“No, no. Forget I said anything. I knew this had to be a joke. Why would-”
“I didn’t understand what you said. You talk really fast, you know.”
“What? Oh, um,” he took a deep breath, “I asked if you’d like to have dinner with me.” He spoke slowly, enunciating each word.
A crooked smile appeared as her eyes danced. “I’d love to. About eight?”
“Sure,” Rodney replied. “I’ll meet you in the mess hall. I hear they’re serving lasagna.”
“One of my favorites,” Hannah said. “I’ll see you then.”
Rodney grinned all the way to his lab. He pulled up the analysis of the tendrils from Keller’s mutation a couple of years before, staring at it for most of the afternoon until Zelenka arrived.
“What are you doing?”
“A brilliant plan is growing in the back of my mind,” Rodney replied.
“What plan?”
“Don’t know. It hasn’t made itself known yet.” He sighed and turned to Radek. “To be honest, I’m having a hard time concentrating.”
Zelenka’s brows disappeared under his mussed hair. “You?”
“I know. But…” Rodney glanced around the room. “I have a date tonight,” he whispered.
“Is it a secret?” Radek whispered in return.
“Not really. I’m afraid to say it too loud. Don’t want to jinx it.”
Radek hopped on the stool next to him. “So…. Who is the mystery woman?”
“Hannah.”
“Alvarez?” Zelenka gaped at him. “Really?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes. She is…. And you are….” Radek shrugged helplessly. “You know.”
“No, I don’t. Tell me.”
Zelenka’s eyes narrowed as he studied Rodney’s face. “Hmmmm…. Maybe not so strange after all. She might be just what you need.”
“And what does that mean?”
“Nature requires balance. Maybe she will be that for you.” Radek smiled at Rodney’s confusion. “Never mind. Why don’t you go get ready? You aren’t getting much done here.”
Rodney stuttered in protest then sighed. “You’re right.” He pushed away and headed out, ignoring Radek’s amused expression.
When he got to his quarters, he rifled through his closet, choosing and discarding numerous shirts and pants before finally deciding on the blue shirt and black trousers Jeannie gave him on his last birthday. After a long shower and a shave, he splashed on a bit of cologne and raked some gel that he’d swiped from Sheppard through his hair. He brushed his teeth and checked his appearance one last time then left.
Hannah arrived at the door to the mess hall at the same time he did, dressed in a short skirt that showed off her legs and a lavender blouse that highlighted her eyes.
She waved delightedly. “Hello there.”
“Wow,” Rodney said. “You look… amazing.”
“You clean up pretty well yourself. Ready?”
He took a deep breath and smiled. “I’m ready.”
xxx
The ocean breeze was light, the briny scent refreshing. Rodney and Hannah sat on a blanket, the remnants of their picnic tucked in a plastic bag. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they gazed at the city. The night lights reflected off the water, and the stars glistened above them.
“She’s incredible, isn’t she,” Hannah whispered.
Rodney slipped his arm around Hannah’s waist. “Yes, she is.”
Hannah turned to find him staring at her. “I meant Atlantis.”
“Yeah, she’s not bad, either.”
“Has Colonel Sheppard been feeding you lines?”
“No. Why?” He blanched then turned purple. “Has he been hitting on you?”
“Of course not,” she soothed, taking his hand in both of hers. “That just didn’t sound like something you’d say. I thought maybe you’d asked… well, never mind.”
“Look, you have to know after going out with me for a couple of weeks that I’m not very good at this.”
“Then let me help.” She tugged him to his feet and wrapped his hands behind her back then slid her hands up his arms. Placing her palms on the sides of his face, she traced her thumbs gently over his cheeks then pulled his head towards hers.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
Hannah kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’m sure.” She ran her fingers through his hair and giggled against his lips. “But the gel has to go.”
He chuckled into the hollow of her throat then kissed his way up to her ear and slowly pulled the clips from her hair. “Only if these go, too.”
She shook her hair free and gazed at him with fire in her eyes. “Deal.”
xxx
Hannah pressed a kiss to the back of Rodney’s neck as she placed a sandwich and a steaming cup of coffee next to the keyboard.
His head drooped. “I forgot we were having dinner again, didn’t I?”
She wrapped her arms around his chest, pressing against his back as she rested her chin on his shoulder. “Yes. What are you working on?”
“I had this idea for a weapon against the Wraith.” He frowned at his monitor then typed furiously for a minute.
“What idea?” she prompted.
“I don’t know exactly. I’m still working on it.”
“Then not exactly. How about generally?”
“I was thinking about making a virus.”
“I thought we tried that already. We don’t need another Michael.”
“Not that kind of virus. Something simpler. Something that would cripple their ships.”
Hannah bit his ear.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“For dumbing it down for the Harvard grad.”
Rodney chuckled and turned to face her. “A couple of years ago, we had an encounter with a virus Michael made that caused humans to begin converting into something resembling a hive ship. We’ve been analyzing the data since then. I want to reverse engineer it.”
“To make the hive ships….”
“…revert back to their original form.”
She moved into his personal space, skimming his features with her fingers. “Will that work?”
His eyes fluttered shut at her touch. “I have no idea,” he mumbled, pulling her close and stroking his thumb up and down her spine. His eyes opened, pupils large “But I’m going to find out.”
Hannah leaned down until their noses touched. “Now?” She straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and sinking into his kiss.
Rodney’s hands tightened on her waist, pulling her flush against him. “Maybe not right now.”
xxx
“You’ve got it bad.” Sheppard rested his chin on his palm as he studied Rodney over the chessboard. “Really bad.”
Rodney shook his head as he toyed with a captured pawn. “Don’t I know it. We’ve been dating for six months, and I feel like I’m only scratching the surface with her. She’s the only thing I think about.” He arched a brow. “Is that normal?”
“I never put you and normal in the same sentence.”
“Why do I even bother?”
“It’s normal, Rodney.” Sheppard’s gaze turned distant, and a hint of sadness stole over his features. “When you really love someone.”
“I’ve never felt this way before,” McKay confessed quietly. “I thought I loved Katie, but this… this is….”
“Yeah, you’re a goner.” Sheppard moved a knight. “You gonna do something about it?”
“I haven’t decided yet. Last time didn’t work out so well. What if I’m still not ready?”
“Different girl. Different you.”
“Am I different enough?” Rodney’s face was completely vulnerable.
Sheppard opened his mouth then snapped it shut, shaking his head. Turning serious, he asked, “Would you die for her?”
Rodney didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Then you’re ready. Just promise that when you do ask her, you’ll do it someplace with a computer and a radio.”
“I promise.” Rodney grinned as he moved his bishop. “And checkmate.”
xxx
Rodney buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Why don’t you wear your hair down more often?”
Hannah wiggled in his arms until she was face-to-face with him. “Because it gets in my way when I work.” She kissed the pulse point under the corner of his jaw. “Besides, I like the fact that only you see me as I am.”
He groaned as her fingers danced light circles down his chest toward his abdomen. “You know we’re scheduled to beam down any minute now.”
She giggled as she kissed him. “Yeah. So?”
“So?” he squeaked as her hands slid under his shirt. “It would be a little… unseemly to arrive in the control room like this, don’t you think?”
“We’re newlyweds,” she whispered. “They’ll forgive us.”
Daedalus’ shipwide intercom crackled to life. “Dr. and Mrs. McKay to the bridge.”
Rodney tangled his hands in Hannah’s hair, pulling her head back and kissing her soundly. “Well, Caldwell won’t. Let’s go.”
They hurried to the bridge, Hannah raking her fingers through her hair and securing it to the base of her neck with a clip. After well-wishes from the colonel, they beamed into the control room to shouts of ‘Welcome home!’ Sheppard slapped him on the back and gave Hannah a chaste kiss on the cheek. Teyla inclined her head, bouncing a fussing infant Charin in her arms. Ronon smothered them both in a hug. After a few minutes of catching up, his team excused themselves, citing numerous duties to attend to.
“Your luggage has been beamed to your quarters,” Chuck informed Rodney and Hannah with a smile.
“Thank you,” Hannah said, linking her arm through Rodney’s and tugging him toward the transporter.
“Wait, which quarters?” Rodney asked. “Yours or mine? I forgot to fill out the paperwork to request bigger quarters before we left.”
Hannah punched him in the arm. “Smartass.”
He grinned at her. “I don’t make the rules. Now, where are we going?”
“Wait and see.” She keyed the transporter controls.
Rodney looked around in confusion when they stepped out. “Where are we?”
She intertwined her fingers with his. “Come on.” She pulled him gently around the corner to a secluded section, waving a hand at the door controls for the room on the end.
“Oh, wow.” He stepped into the room, eyes wide. “This place is huge. I didn’t know there were corner apartment suites. How did you get this?”
Hannah laughed. “I help administer the city, Rodney. I know where all the good stuff is.”
He wandered in, fingers trailing over his diplomas, her collection of frog figurines, pictures of friends and family. Their suitcases were near the door, and two large sofas faced each other in the center of the room, an antique coffee table between them. Two small rooms were to the right, currently empty, and the master bedroom was to the left, a huge bed arranged diagonally in the corner with the floor-to-ceiling windows.
His face crinkled in confusion. “Where have I seen that bedspread before?”
She ran a hand lovingly over it. “The Athosians customarily give a handmade blanket to the newly married. This is from Teyla and Kanaan,” she hinted.
“Oh, yeah. Certified hypoallergenic according to Keller.” He poked the mattress cautiously, glancing up when she laughed. “What?”
Hannah sat down on the bed then leaned back on her elbows. “I ordered a king-size prescription mattress weeks ago. You’ll be fine.”
“Really?”
She smiled dangerously as she reached for him. “Let’s find out.”
xxx
“What’s wrong with you?” Rodney asked, white-faced. “You’re never sick.”
Hannah dabbed at her face with a towel as she met his eyes in the bathroom mirror. “I haven’t felt well the past few days. It comes and goes.”
“We’re going to see Keller now.”
“Relax, Rodney. I’ve already seen her. She ran a few tests yesterday. She asked me to stop by after staff meeting this morning.”
He grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him then taking her hands. “You’ll be fine. I’m sure it’s nothing. Positive, in fact. Probably just a bug a Marine brought back from some primitive planet. Nothing to worry about at all.”
She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest. “Nothing at all.”
Hours later, Rodney paced in his lab, glancing at his watch every five seconds.
“Just call her,” Zelenka urged. “Or better yet - go find her. No one can get any work done here.” He lowered his voice. “There is no shame in worrying for your wife. It’s what you’re supposed to do. Now go.”
“You’re right. I should ask. Keller will tell me.” He hurried to the door then turned back. “Thanks, Radek.” He snatched a lifesigns detector and left.
Rodney hesitated when he reached the transporter. Calling up the setting to search for sub-cu transmitters, he located Hannah. Stabbing at the controls, he exited to crew quarters and hustled to his room. When the doors swished open, Hannah was in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall.
“Oh, no,” he whispered, his breath hitching. “What is it?”
Hannah’s expression flickered. “Hmmm?”
Rodney knelt beside her and grabbed her hands. “Whatever it is, we’ll do it together, okay? I’ll be by your side no matter what.”
She blinked at him. “You’d better be since you’re responsible.”
“What? I’m sick, too? I mean, my head hurts, and my legs feel tingly, but they always feel that way. I had no idea-” He broke off and stood when she began giggling uncontrollably. “This is funny?”
“Oh, oh, Rodney. I’m sorry. I’m not sick, and you’re not either. I didn’t mean to make you think….” She wiped the tears from her face and lay back on the bed.
He sank down next to her, fidgeting with the edge of the bedspread. “Then what is it?”
She rolled on her side and propped up on an elbow. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what? How’d that happen?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure that when you-”
He waved his hands wildly. “I know that part. I mean, I thought you were taking a pill or something.”
“I was. But they haven’t invented a pill yet that is one hundred percent effective. Apparently, I’m part of the lucky three percent who gets pregnant anyway.” She sat up slowly, looking vulnerable. “Are you angry?”
Rodney did his best fish impersonation. “Angry? I- I don’t know what I am, but I’m not angry.” He gripped her hand, squeezing hard. “And Jennifer said you were okay otherwise?”
She pulled him into an embrace, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he relaxed into her. “I’m perfectly healthy and so is your son… or daughter.”
He leaned back, staring at her wide-eyed. “Oh, my God. I’m going to be a father.”
“I know. Hell hasn’t frozen over, by the way.”
“I’ll never hear the end of this from Jeannie.”
“She says you’re great with Madison.”
“That’s because Madison is exceptionally brilliant.”
“And I’ve seen you with Torren and Charin. You are a complete mushball. You are going to be a great father.”
“You really think so?”
Hannah smiled, holding his face gently between her palms. “I know so.”
xxx
“Wake up, Daddy!” Beth shouted, black pig-tails flying as she bounced on the bed. “It’s my birthday!”
“Is that their daughter?” Clarika asked.
“Yes, Elizabeth Diane. She turns three today.”
“She looks like him.”
“Yes, she does. Her little brother, Joseph, looks more like Hannah.”
Rodney sat up scowling then broke into a grin, reaching for her. Beth burst into giggles even before he began tickling her, collapsing on the bed when he did and shrieking with laughter. Hannah peeked in, bouncing Joey on her hip, and shook her head. Then she lightly tossed the boy on the bed and joined in the fun. Soon the entire family had tears streaking their faces.
“They look happy.”
Janus circled the room, nodding sadly. “They are happy. The expedition is flourishing. Rodney is making progress with his Wraith weapon. Hannah enjoys her work, and it gives her the flexibility to check in on the children at the daycare. They spend many evenings with Rodney’s teammates and their families. But most of all, they love being together.”
“It’s not going to last, is it?”
Part 2
Author: wildcat88
Approx Word Count: 13,000
Genre: Angst
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis
Spoiler Warning: Everything through The Daedalus Variations
Pairing: McKay/OFC
Summary: When life crumbles for Rodney McKay, a special emissary is sent to help him find his way. It's a Wonderful Life SGA style.
Author’s Notes: Many thanks to leesa_perrie and jayne_perry for the beta. All faults mine.
Janus strolled through the corridors of Atlantis, a smile playing on his lips. How he loved this city. He drifted into the cafeteria, enjoying the snippets of conversation, the laughter, the gestures of affection. So much had changed since Weir’s people arrived. Thousands lived here now - expedition members and their families, refugees from the Wraith, even Jaffa and Tok’ra. Janus had watched over these people since their arrival; he had kept an eye on certain ones long before that. The Others had frowned upon his occasional interference, but he thought of these people as his children, and when they had needed a ‘lucky break,’ he had provided it. Today he would push that non-interference line further than he ever had.
Unseen to the inhabitants of the mess hall, Clarika blazed in and corkscrewed to a stop next to Janus. She certainly had style especially for one so new to this plane of existence. “Is my assignment in here?” she asked with a final bounce.
Janus chuckled as her form flickered from white light to short red-head. “No. He’s in his lab. This way.” He led her toward Science Tower Four, floating over the city as they exited one building and entered another.
“The Others?” she asked.
“Teer, Hedda, and their people are covering us, blinding the Others to our presence here. As soon as you know what’s needed, I’ll leave and draw their attention to another place while our faction continues to provide coverage for you.”
“Will you be all right?”
“I’ve been doing this for millennia, and they haven’t punished me yet,” Janus answered with a grin.
They swooped into a lab filled with laptops, coffee cups, and scribbled-on whiteboards. A man with a lined face and gray liberally sprinkled through his hair sat with his head in his hands, staring blindly at a video continuously looping on the monitor in front of him.
“Meet Dr. Rodney McKay.”
“Why is he so sad?” Clarika asked, sinking into the desk, her face peering through the monitor.
Janus sighed. “Why don’t we start at the beginning?” Touching her hand, he whisked her back in time.
xxx
“I don’t understand, Daddy. Where is Mommy going?”
“Awww…. He was a cute kid,” Clarika said. “His mother left?”
“Not willingly. She was diagnosed with cancer, a fatal disease in this time and place. His father was obsessed with saving her, leaving Rodney - Meredith as he was called then - to care for himself and his sister. A heavy burden for a seven year old.”
Peter McKay stuffed his research in his briefcase and dug in his pocket for car keys. “I don’t have time for this again, Meredith. I have to get back to the lab.”
“But, Daddy-”
“Not now! And no more calls to the hospital. Your mother needs her rest.”
Rodney flinched as the door slammed. Jeannie slipped her hand in his. “It’s okay, Mer. Daddy will fix her.”
His fingers tightened around hers, blinking away the tears that had gathered in his eyes. “Come on. I’ll make you a sandwich.”
Janus shook his head sadly as they flitted forward in time. “Rodney’s mother died a few weeks later. His father remarried a year after that, choosing a woman as focused on her career as he was on his. She laid the blame for every argument they ever had squarely on Rodney’s shoulders. He struggled under the pressure; he searched to find his place, his purpose.”
Time flicked by, showing a growing Rodney playing with Legos, dabbling with a chemistry set, teaching himself French, sitting at a piano stiff-lipped and staring straight ahead as an older man spoke.
“You are technically proficient, Mr. McKay, but you have no artistry. Perhaps you should try something besides piano.”
“Each failure pushed him a little further into himself. He never touched a piano again; he refused to play baseball again after he failed to catch one fly ball. He concentrated on his studies, his proudest moment being the bomb he created in grade six. Life became about proving himself worthy.”
Jeannie handed Rodney an envelope with a MENSA return address. “So?”
Rodney wiped his hands on the hem of his shirt and ripped the letter open. And smiled.
“Each success drove him harder until being the best was the only thing that mattered. Top of his class, graduating two years early. His Bachelor’s by nineteen, Master’s at twenty-one. His second PhD by twenty-six. Science became his life, his obsession. He abandoned his family, his childhood dreams, all attempts at friendship. He didn’t care who he hurt or stepped on to get what he wanted.”
“That was my internship, McKay! How dare you sabotage it!” Angelica trembled with rage as she cleaned out her desk.
Rodney rolled his eyes. “Oh, please. Sabotage? I simply pointed out your lack of proficiency in, oh… everything. They needed someone who actually knew what he was doing. Namely me.”
“Are you sure this is the kind of man we need?” Clarika asked.
Janus smiled indulgently. “People can change. Rodney was meant to be here. Everything in his life pointed him to Atlantis - his passion for science, his discarded family connections, his work for the Air Force, his assignment to the SGC, his banishment to Russia. What he needed was here. It was no accident that Elizabeth Weir, Carson Beckett, Radek Zelenka, and John Sheppard were members of the expedition. It was no accident that Athos was the address Rodney chose when they arrived. It was no accident that they visited the planet Ronon Dex was on at exactly the right time.”
“You all right, McKay?” Sheppard asked.
Rodney stared at the ocean, his back ramrod straight. “Fine. Never better.”
“Hmmm.” John leaned his elbows on the railing, the breeze raking through his hair. “Losing people is never easy, you know. I puked my guts out the first time someone under my command was killed.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Rodney’s shoulders slumped as his chin dropped to his chest. “First Gall and Abrams. Now Johnson, Wagner, Dumais, and Hays. All in the same day. I- I don’t- How do you-”
“You don’t give up. You focus on the job at hand and the ones who are still alive.”
They stood silently, listening to the waves crash against the pier below. After a while, Sheppard nudged McKay. “Wanna get some dinner?”
Rodney shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.” He followed Sheppard to the door, stopping before they crossed the threshold. “Does it get easier?”
“No. And that’s good. It means you still care.”
“What if I don’t want to care?”
“Too late, McKay. You already do.”
xxx
Rodney stumbled into the back of the jumper, his arms slung over the shoulders of Sheppard and Zelenka. They gently laid him on a rear bench then moved to the front, powering up and rising from the ocean floor. He moaned, pressing the heel of one hand to his temple which was bleeding again.
“We have you, Rodney. We’ll be back in the city in minutes.”
“I knew you’d figure it out, Radek. Deep down, a part of me knew you’d find me and get me out of here.”
“Now I know he is delirious, Colonel. Rodney McKay would never say anything like that.”
“The whale didn’t even eat me.”
Sheppard glanced over his shoulder. “Hang in there, McKay. I’m trying to balance the pressure while getting us out of here before the shield dies.”
He smiled as his eyes drifted shut. “I knew you’d come.”
xxx
Rodney wrapped his arms around the base of the commode, leaning his head against the seat during a momentary reprieve.
“You done?” Ronon asked.
“No.”
“Is this your people’s way of honoring the dead?”
“This is my way of trying to forget my best friend is dead.”
“Puking for hours does that?”
“No, the drinking was supposed to do that.”
“Did it?”
Rodney sighed. “No. I can still hear the explosion.”
Ronon slid down to the floor, elbows on his knees.
“What are you doing?” McKay moaned.
“Waiting.”
“For what?”
“You.”
“Why?”
Ronon leaned his head against the wall. “’Cause that’s what we do.”
xxx
Rodney huddled in the corner of the darkened office now clear of its contents save a lone box on the desk. “This can’t be happening,” he whispered.
The lights blared to life when Teyla entered. She picked up the box and turned, startling at his presence. “Rodney? What are you doing?”
“What? Oh, ah, I was… just, uh-”
She set the box in a chair and waved the lights to low then moved to his side, pressing her back against the wall to his right. “I miss her, too.”
A shudder ran his length as he closed his eyes. “I can’t get the image of her running from the jumper out of my mind.”
“Rodney-”
“It’s my fault, Teyla,” he whispered. “If I hadn’t reactivated her nanites-”
“-we would not have a ZPM, and we would all be dead.” She faced him, gently lifting his chin until his eyes met hers. “To sacrifice your life for another is the most precious gift that can be given. Elizabeth knew what she was doing. Nothing was more important to her than the safety of this city. If she is out there, we will find her. Until then, honor her by accepting the gift she has given you, given all of us.”
“Do you really think we’ll find her?”
Teyla touched her forehead to his. “We will never stop looking.”
xxx
Rodney’s eyes never left the cafeteria entrance, the tray in front of him still untouched. His face lit up as a slender woman with red hair tucked behind her ears entered. He stood slightly and waved.
“Who is this?” Clarika asked, freezing time as she studied the two. “Obviously someone important to him.”
“This is Katie Brown. She and the next person we’ll meet had a profound effect on him. The changes in him that resulted from being on Sheppard’s team were only the beginning.”
“Hi, Rodney,” Katie called, grabbing a sandwich and bottle of water then hurrying to his table.
“How are things in the botany lab today?”
Her face brightened. “We found the most amazing plant on the mainland. It sings! Can you imagine?”
“Wow.” His eyes glazed over, and he propped his chin on his palm.
“He doesn’t look very interested,” Clarika noted as Katie chattered on.
“He isn’t. But the important part is that he’s listening. While this relationship won’t last, he’s learning how to put the needs of another above his own. She will teach him how to be close to someone, will stir a longing in him he didn’t know he had. Before Katie, Rodney had sworn off ever getting married.”
xxx
“Just for a minute,” Teyla said. “Please, Rodney. Kanaan was to meet me here to take Torren, but he has been called to a council meeting, and I simply cannot leave the Mourrecan delegation with Mr. Woolsey.”
Rodney’s eyes bulged. “You wouldn’t let me hold him for weeks, and now you want me to take care of your kid while you negotiate? Are you crazy?”
“No, desperate.” She smiled slyly at him. “They are the ones who provide the quariq bean. What you use for your coffee.”
“Aw, that’s cheating.”
She arched a brow at him. “Very well. I will stay with Torren and let Mr. Woolsey handle the trade agreement.”
“No, no, no, no. You know he’ll never ask for coffee beans.” Rodney grimaced and held out his arms. “Give him here.”
Teyla placed her swaddled son gently in Rodney’s arms. “You will be fine. Everything you need is in the pack.”
“And if he starts crying?”
She grinned. “Talk to him. That should put him to sleep immediately.”
Rodney stared at her back as she hurried out of the cafeteria. “I think I’ve just been insulted.” He glanced down at Torren. “Your mother has been spending too much time around Sheppard and Ronon. And Keller. And Zelenka.”
Torren yawned then blinked sleepily.
“Oh. Oh no. Please go back to sleep.”
Wriggling, Torren worked one arm loose and reached for Rodney’s face. McKay tried to grasp the boy’s arm to tuck it back in.
“This is such a bad idea. Now you’re going to catch cold, and Teyla will kill me with those sticks. Which hurt, by the way. I finally convinced Ronon that some self-defense moves would be more beneficial than trying to teach me to beat someone with….”
He trailed off as Torren laughed and clutched a fist around his forefinger.
“Hey, that’s quite a grip you’ve got there. What’s Teyla been feeding you? Ah, never mind. I really don’t want an answer to that.”
Torren giggled again and tugged Rodney’s finger toward his mouth.
“I need that finger, you know. I mean, how would I explain to the scientific community that I was mere centimeters from the Theory of Unification until a baby gnawed my finger off?”
Rodney’s face softened as Torren cooed and stared transfixed at him. Ignoring the baby slobber, he stroked a free finger down the boy’s cheek. Torren snuggled into Rodney’s chest with a sigh and promptly fell asleep. Rodney patted him awkwardly then turned back to his tray, finishing his lunch one-handed.
“What is he humming?”
“A lullaby his mother sang to him,” Janus answered. “I doubt he realizes he’s doing it. Children have always irritated Rodney even when he was a child. He doesn’t understand them, and he certainly never wanted to have any of his own.”
“Until Torren,” Clarika guessed.
“Exactly. Being around Teyla’s son on a daily basis, and watching his teammates with him, opened a door.”
“Does he get married? Does he have kids?”
“Patience. We’re getting there.” Janus chuckled at her curiosity. Still so much to learn. “Rodney dated off and on over the next couple of years - Jennifer Keller, Anna Guilderoy, Rachel Simms. But each relationship ended up in friendship only. Then he met Hannah Alvarez.”
xxx
The doors to the conference swung open, and Woolsey entered followed closely by a dark-haired woman in a tailored business suit and spike heels. Eyebrows shot up as she took the seat next to him and handed him a file.
“Good morning,” Woolsey greeted. “I would like to introduce Hannah Alvarez. She’s been serving with the IOA for the past five years, overseeing the SGC budget. She will be assisting me in the administration of the city.”
Introductions were made around the table, and she smiled as she took in each face. “Very nice to meet all of you. I’m thrilled to be here.”
The meeting proceeded like all the others except with Hannah taking notes and juggling folders. Woolsey stood at the end of the meeting.
“One last item. Now that Ms. Alvarez is here, I would like all reports and requisitions to go through her first. She will pass along anything that needs my attention. If she makes a request, she is doing so on my behalf; please respond promptly. Thank you, everyone.”
“Great,” Rodney moaned as the room emptied. “A glorified secretary gets to decide whether or not to greenlight the neutronium I need.”
Sheppard pushed away from the table. “Ease up, McKay. She may be easier to deal with than Woolsey.”
“Oh, please. Did you see how tight that bun was? Her eyes were practically on the sides of her head.”
“Wasn’t looking at her hair,” Ronon mumbled, ducking a swat from Teyla.
“She was hot,” Sheppard agreed.
“Hot?” McKay squeaked. “Would you get your minds out of the gutter? She’s just one more layer of red tape.”
xxx
“Dr. McKay?”
Rodney sagged as Hannah’s voice called through his lab door. The chime had gone unanswered for the last few minutes. “Guess you didn’t take the hint,” he muttered, stomping to the door to open it. He glared down at her. “What?”
She brushed past him, a file in her hand. “I need to speak with you about the last personnel request you sent in.” She perched on a stool, smoothing the jacket to her Atlantis standard uniform. “It was incomplete.”
“What about ‘I need more people’ is unclear to you?”
“I didn’t say unclear. I said incomplete. There are several-”
Rodney marched back to his workstation. “Maybe you have the time to waste on filling in little blanks, but I have actual work to do.” He glanced up at her. “You know, keeping the city running and all? So, go… file your nails or something.”
Hannah cocked her head to the side, a slight smile on her face. “I apologize for the intrusion, Doctor.” She hopped off the stool and breezed through the doors.
He watched her go then shook himself and turned back to his work. “Get a grip, McKay.”
xxx
“Where the hell is my new chemist? I distinctly remember filling out all the forms. In triplicate. I needed him here last week.” McKay’s face was red as he paced in front of Hannah’s desk, her office on the opposite side of the gateroom from Woolsey’s. “Well?”
“I’m sorry, Doctor. I don’t have a request for a chemist.” She pulled a form from a file. “I do have an incomplete request for personnel. You might remember that I tried to discuss this with you about a month ago.”
“You mean you’ve been sitting on this because I have more important things to do than quibble over some minutiae on one of your damn forms? And what the hell is with all the paper? Haven’t you people ever heard of computers?” Spittle flew as Rodney shouted in her face. “You’re a bigger moron than I thought. Where is Woolsey?”
Hannah pulled off her glasses and leaned back calmly. “Mr. Woolsey is in a meeting with Ms. Emmagan and the elders from Lebuerg.”
Rodney’s jaw worked as they held a staring contest. She smiled at his death glare, not backing down.
“What will it take to get my chemist here?” he finally asked.
“You telling me you need a chemist.” She handed him the form. The space for Position Needed was empty.
“You couldn’t figure that out from the job description?”
“What job description?” she asked.
“The one attached…. Oh.”
“Yes. Oh.” Hannah smiled sweetly at him. “Now, if you’ll finish filling out the request, I’ll be happy to fast track it.”
“I’m sure you will.”
Her smile faded. “I’m not your enemy, Doctor. I want to do everything I can to help Atlantis run as effectively as possible. I want to help.”
“Yes, um, well….” The blush started at his neck and worked its way up.
“Doctor?”
“I’ll, uh, get this back to you soon.” His blush deepened. “And, ah, you can, you know, call me Rodney.”
xxx
“Help me!” Rodney screamed as he stumbled through the gate, dragging Ronon behind him.
“The med team is almost here,” Woolsey informed him. “What happened?”
Rodney dropped to his knees and hugged Ronon to him, rubbing the man’s chest vigorously while water dripped from his hair, hands, clothing, boots, the tip of his nose. “Damn idiot jumped in an icy river trying to save some locals.”
“How long?” Keller called as her team rushed into the room.
“Oh, thank God.” Rodney scooted out of their way, sinking onto a step. “I don’t know. Fifteen minutes maybe. I had to do a few chest compressions to get the water out of his lungs. He stopped shivering before we got to the gate.”
“Where are Colonel Sheppard and Teyla?” Woolsey asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs.
“On their way. They were at the settlement finishing the negotiations when it happened. Sheppard told me to get Ronon home.” Rodney turned to Keller. “Is he going to be okay?”
Keller helped the team get Ronon on a gurney as she answered. “I think so. His body temperature is dangerously low, but he’s a fighter.” She buckled the last strap. “Let’s go.”
Rodney glanced up as a warm blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Hannah closed it in the front and rubbed his arms briskly. “Did Ronon save them?” she asked. “The locals?”
“Some of them. The others… well, the current was incredibly strong.”
“And you jumped in after him?”
His teeth chattered as his nose and ears reddened. “Well, I couldn’t just sit there and watch him drown. We don’t leave our people behind, you know.”
She considered him thoughtfully then smiled. “I’ve heard that. You should take a hot shower and change. You’re soaking wet.”
He glanced at her hands as they ran over his shoulders and down his chest. “I am? Oh, I am. I should do that… though I’ve probably already caught pneumonia. Ronon’s going to owe me dessert for a month after this.” Rodney grinned. “I saved his life. He’ll hate that, probably have to save mine the next three times to consider us even.”
Hannah pulled him to his feet and pushed him in the direction of crew quarters. “Go. Now.”
Rodney frowned at her over his shoulder as he made his way to the transporter, pulling the blanket tighter around himself. “I’m going. And not because you said so. Keller won’t let me in the infirmary like this.”
She smiled to herself as he disappeared into the transporter. “Who are you, Rodney McKay?”
xxx
“That woman is driving me crazy,” McKay announced as he plopped into the cafeteria chair. “Nothing I do is good enough for her. She constantly nitpicks.” He slumped in his seat, sulking. “Yesterday she dropped by my lab to discuss my allegedly hard-to-read handwriting. Said she couldn’t make out what I wanted to order. As if you could mistake a spectrofluorometer with anything else.”
Sheppard exchanged an amused glance with Ronon while Teyla covered a smile with her napkin.
“What?” Rodney demanded.
“She likes you,” Sheppard said.
“Are you nuts? She hates me.”
Teyla laughed out loud. “Oh, Rodney. Can you not see she is inventing excuses to spend time with you?”
“That’s not- I mean…. Really?”
“Amazes me, too,” Sheppard teased. “But she’s flirting with you.”
“Geek attraction.” Ronon stuffed a handful of chips in his mouth. “It’s weird.”
“Hey!” Rodney protested then his brow wrinkled. “You really think she likes me? Me?”
Teyla patted his hand. “I am certain of it.”
“Seriously, McKay, you should be getting better at this.” Sheppard swiped the last brownie, grinning at Ronon’s scowl. “Unless you’re not interested.”
“I’ve never really thought- Okay maybe I thought about her that way, but I never considered…. I mean, she’s beautiful and smart - in an MBA kind of way because she’s brainless when it comes to science. She’s kind to everybody. And she never gets mad. How is that possible?”
“She gets angry, I assure you,” Teyla said. “She simply holds it inside until she has the time to release it. She has destroyed more than one set of bantos rods.”
Rodney’s eyes widened. “Is she any good?”
Teyla laughed. “No. But she tries.”
“She’s as coordinated as you are,” Ronon added.
“What are you trying to say?” Rodney stared at each one in turn as they laughed. “Fine. I admit that I’m not the most athletic. And if this is some kind of joke you’ve cooked up to make me look stupid in front of her, you will never have hot water again. Ever. Maybe no life support at all.”
“We would not do something like that,” Teyla assured him.
Sheppard winked at her then turned to Rodney. “You know what to do this time?”
McKay sighed. “Are you ever going to let me live that down?”
“Not in your lifetime,” Sheppard replied with a grin.
“I don’t need any help, thank you, Don Juan. Now, if you’ll excuse me….”
Rodney pushed away from the table, dumped his tray, and headed to the gateroom where he found Hannah in her office blinking blearily at her computer screen.
She looked up when he cleared his throat. “Good afternoon, Doc- I mean Rodney. What can I do for you?”
“Um, yeah, hi. Listen, I was wondering if later on you might want to… maybe, uh, havedinnerwithme.”
Pulling the black-rimmed glasses from her face, she rubbed her eyes tiredly. “I’m sorry. It’s been a long day already-”
“No, no. Forget I said anything. I knew this had to be a joke. Why would-”
“I didn’t understand what you said. You talk really fast, you know.”
“What? Oh, um,” he took a deep breath, “I asked if you’d like to have dinner with me.” He spoke slowly, enunciating each word.
A crooked smile appeared as her eyes danced. “I’d love to. About eight?”
“Sure,” Rodney replied. “I’ll meet you in the mess hall. I hear they’re serving lasagna.”
“One of my favorites,” Hannah said. “I’ll see you then.”
Rodney grinned all the way to his lab. He pulled up the analysis of the tendrils from Keller’s mutation a couple of years before, staring at it for most of the afternoon until Zelenka arrived.
“What are you doing?”
“A brilliant plan is growing in the back of my mind,” Rodney replied.
“What plan?”
“Don’t know. It hasn’t made itself known yet.” He sighed and turned to Radek. “To be honest, I’m having a hard time concentrating.”
Zelenka’s brows disappeared under his mussed hair. “You?”
“I know. But…” Rodney glanced around the room. “I have a date tonight,” he whispered.
“Is it a secret?” Radek whispered in return.
“Not really. I’m afraid to say it too loud. Don’t want to jinx it.”
Radek hopped on the stool next to him. “So…. Who is the mystery woman?”
“Hannah.”
“Alvarez?” Zelenka gaped at him. “Really?”
“Is that so hard to believe?”
“Yes. She is…. And you are….” Radek shrugged helplessly. “You know.”
“No, I don’t. Tell me.”
Zelenka’s eyes narrowed as he studied Rodney’s face. “Hmmmm…. Maybe not so strange after all. She might be just what you need.”
“And what does that mean?”
“Nature requires balance. Maybe she will be that for you.” Radek smiled at Rodney’s confusion. “Never mind. Why don’t you go get ready? You aren’t getting much done here.”
Rodney stuttered in protest then sighed. “You’re right.” He pushed away and headed out, ignoring Radek’s amused expression.
When he got to his quarters, he rifled through his closet, choosing and discarding numerous shirts and pants before finally deciding on the blue shirt and black trousers Jeannie gave him on his last birthday. After a long shower and a shave, he splashed on a bit of cologne and raked some gel that he’d swiped from Sheppard through his hair. He brushed his teeth and checked his appearance one last time then left.
Hannah arrived at the door to the mess hall at the same time he did, dressed in a short skirt that showed off her legs and a lavender blouse that highlighted her eyes.
She waved delightedly. “Hello there.”
“Wow,” Rodney said. “You look… amazing.”
“You clean up pretty well yourself. Ready?”
He took a deep breath and smiled. “I’m ready.”
xxx
The ocean breeze was light, the briny scent refreshing. Rodney and Hannah sat on a blanket, the remnants of their picnic tucked in a plastic bag. She leaned her head on his shoulder as they gazed at the city. The night lights reflected off the water, and the stars glistened above them.
“She’s incredible, isn’t she,” Hannah whispered.
Rodney slipped his arm around Hannah’s waist. “Yes, she is.”
Hannah turned to find him staring at her. “I meant Atlantis.”
“Yeah, she’s not bad, either.”
“Has Colonel Sheppard been feeding you lines?”
“No. Why?” He blanched then turned purple. “Has he been hitting on you?”
“Of course not,” she soothed, taking his hand in both of hers. “That just didn’t sound like something you’d say. I thought maybe you’d asked… well, never mind.”
“Look, you have to know after going out with me for a couple of weeks that I’m not very good at this.”
“Then let me help.” She tugged him to his feet and wrapped his hands behind her back then slid her hands up his arms. Placing her palms on the sides of his face, she traced her thumbs gently over his cheeks then pulled his head towards hers.
“Are you sure?” he whispered.
Hannah kissed the corner of his mouth. “I’m sure.” She ran her fingers through his hair and giggled against his lips. “But the gel has to go.”
He chuckled into the hollow of her throat then kissed his way up to her ear and slowly pulled the clips from her hair. “Only if these go, too.”
She shook her hair free and gazed at him with fire in her eyes. “Deal.”
xxx
Hannah pressed a kiss to the back of Rodney’s neck as she placed a sandwich and a steaming cup of coffee next to the keyboard.
His head drooped. “I forgot we were having dinner again, didn’t I?”
She wrapped her arms around his chest, pressing against his back as she rested her chin on his shoulder. “Yes. What are you working on?”
“I had this idea for a weapon against the Wraith.” He frowned at his monitor then typed furiously for a minute.
“What idea?” she prompted.
“I don’t know exactly. I’m still working on it.”
“Then not exactly. How about generally?”
“I was thinking about making a virus.”
“I thought we tried that already. We don’t need another Michael.”
“Not that kind of virus. Something simpler. Something that would cripple their ships.”
Hannah bit his ear.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“For dumbing it down for the Harvard grad.”
Rodney chuckled and turned to face her. “A couple of years ago, we had an encounter with a virus Michael made that caused humans to begin converting into something resembling a hive ship. We’ve been analyzing the data since then. I want to reverse engineer it.”
“To make the hive ships….”
“…revert back to their original form.”
She moved into his personal space, skimming his features with her fingers. “Will that work?”
His eyes fluttered shut at her touch. “I have no idea,” he mumbled, pulling her close and stroking his thumb up and down her spine. His eyes opened, pupils large “But I’m going to find out.”
Hannah leaned down until their noses touched. “Now?” She straddled his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and sinking into his kiss.
Rodney’s hands tightened on her waist, pulling her flush against him. “Maybe not right now.”
xxx
“You’ve got it bad.” Sheppard rested his chin on his palm as he studied Rodney over the chessboard. “Really bad.”
Rodney shook his head as he toyed with a captured pawn. “Don’t I know it. We’ve been dating for six months, and I feel like I’m only scratching the surface with her. She’s the only thing I think about.” He arched a brow. “Is that normal?”
“I never put you and normal in the same sentence.”
“Why do I even bother?”
“It’s normal, Rodney.” Sheppard’s gaze turned distant, and a hint of sadness stole over his features. “When you really love someone.”
“I’ve never felt this way before,” McKay confessed quietly. “I thought I loved Katie, but this… this is….”
“Yeah, you’re a goner.” Sheppard moved a knight. “You gonna do something about it?”
“I haven’t decided yet. Last time didn’t work out so well. What if I’m still not ready?”
“Different girl. Different you.”
“Am I different enough?” Rodney’s face was completely vulnerable.
Sheppard opened his mouth then snapped it shut, shaking his head. Turning serious, he asked, “Would you die for her?”
Rodney didn’t hesitate. “Yes.”
“Then you’re ready. Just promise that when you do ask her, you’ll do it someplace with a computer and a radio.”
“I promise.” Rodney grinned as he moved his bishop. “And checkmate.”
xxx
Rodney buried his face in the crook of her neck. “Why don’t you wear your hair down more often?”
Hannah wiggled in his arms until she was face-to-face with him. “Because it gets in my way when I work.” She kissed the pulse point under the corner of his jaw. “Besides, I like the fact that only you see me as I am.”
He groaned as her fingers danced light circles down his chest toward his abdomen. “You know we’re scheduled to beam down any minute now.”
She giggled as she kissed him. “Yeah. So?”
“So?” he squeaked as her hands slid under his shirt. “It would be a little… unseemly to arrive in the control room like this, don’t you think?”
“We’re newlyweds,” she whispered. “They’ll forgive us.”
Daedalus’ shipwide intercom crackled to life. “Dr. and Mrs. McKay to the bridge.”
Rodney tangled his hands in Hannah’s hair, pulling her head back and kissing her soundly. “Well, Caldwell won’t. Let’s go.”
They hurried to the bridge, Hannah raking her fingers through her hair and securing it to the base of her neck with a clip. After well-wishes from the colonel, they beamed into the control room to shouts of ‘Welcome home!’ Sheppard slapped him on the back and gave Hannah a chaste kiss on the cheek. Teyla inclined her head, bouncing a fussing infant Charin in her arms. Ronon smothered them both in a hug. After a few minutes of catching up, his team excused themselves, citing numerous duties to attend to.
“Your luggage has been beamed to your quarters,” Chuck informed Rodney and Hannah with a smile.
“Thank you,” Hannah said, linking her arm through Rodney’s and tugging him toward the transporter.
“Wait, which quarters?” Rodney asked. “Yours or mine? I forgot to fill out the paperwork to request bigger quarters before we left.”
Hannah punched him in the arm. “Smartass.”
He grinned at her. “I don’t make the rules. Now, where are we going?”
“Wait and see.” She keyed the transporter controls.
Rodney looked around in confusion when they stepped out. “Where are we?”
She intertwined her fingers with his. “Come on.” She pulled him gently around the corner to a secluded section, waving a hand at the door controls for the room on the end.
“Oh, wow.” He stepped into the room, eyes wide. “This place is huge. I didn’t know there were corner apartment suites. How did you get this?”
Hannah laughed. “I help administer the city, Rodney. I know where all the good stuff is.”
He wandered in, fingers trailing over his diplomas, her collection of frog figurines, pictures of friends and family. Their suitcases were near the door, and two large sofas faced each other in the center of the room, an antique coffee table between them. Two small rooms were to the right, currently empty, and the master bedroom was to the left, a huge bed arranged diagonally in the corner with the floor-to-ceiling windows.
His face crinkled in confusion. “Where have I seen that bedspread before?”
She ran a hand lovingly over it. “The Athosians customarily give a handmade blanket to the newly married. This is from Teyla and Kanaan,” she hinted.
“Oh, yeah. Certified hypoallergenic according to Keller.” He poked the mattress cautiously, glancing up when she laughed. “What?”
Hannah sat down on the bed then leaned back on her elbows. “I ordered a king-size prescription mattress weeks ago. You’ll be fine.”
“Really?”
She smiled dangerously as she reached for him. “Let’s find out.”
xxx
“What’s wrong with you?” Rodney asked, white-faced. “You’re never sick.”
Hannah dabbed at her face with a towel as she met his eyes in the bathroom mirror. “I haven’t felt well the past few days. It comes and goes.”
“We’re going to see Keller now.”
“Relax, Rodney. I’ve already seen her. She ran a few tests yesterday. She asked me to stop by after staff meeting this morning.”
He grasped her shoulders, turning her to face him then taking her hands. “You’ll be fine. I’m sure it’s nothing. Positive, in fact. Probably just a bug a Marine brought back from some primitive planet. Nothing to worry about at all.”
She wrapped her arms around him and snuggled into his chest. “Nothing at all.”
Hours later, Rodney paced in his lab, glancing at his watch every five seconds.
“Just call her,” Zelenka urged. “Or better yet - go find her. No one can get any work done here.” He lowered his voice. “There is no shame in worrying for your wife. It’s what you’re supposed to do. Now go.”
“You’re right. I should ask. Keller will tell me.” He hurried to the door then turned back. “Thanks, Radek.” He snatched a lifesigns detector and left.
Rodney hesitated when he reached the transporter. Calling up the setting to search for sub-cu transmitters, he located Hannah. Stabbing at the controls, he exited to crew quarters and hustled to his room. When the doors swished open, Hannah was in the bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed, staring blankly at the wall.
“Oh, no,” he whispered, his breath hitching. “What is it?”
Hannah’s expression flickered. “Hmmm?”
Rodney knelt beside her and grabbed her hands. “Whatever it is, we’ll do it together, okay? I’ll be by your side no matter what.”
She blinked at him. “You’d better be since you’re responsible.”
“What? I’m sick, too? I mean, my head hurts, and my legs feel tingly, but they always feel that way. I had no idea-” He broke off and stood when she began giggling uncontrollably. “This is funny?”
“Oh, oh, Rodney. I’m sorry. I’m not sick, and you’re not either. I didn’t mean to make you think….” She wiped the tears from her face and lay back on the bed.
He sank down next to her, fidgeting with the edge of the bedspread. “Then what is it?”
She rolled on her side and propped up on an elbow. “I’m pregnant.”
“You’re what? How’d that happen?”
“Well, I’m pretty sure that when you-”
He waved his hands wildly. “I know that part. I mean, I thought you were taking a pill or something.”
“I was. But they haven’t invented a pill yet that is one hundred percent effective. Apparently, I’m part of the lucky three percent who gets pregnant anyway.” She sat up slowly, looking vulnerable. “Are you angry?”
Rodney did his best fish impersonation. “Angry? I- I don’t know what I am, but I’m not angry.” He gripped her hand, squeezing hard. “And Jennifer said you were okay otherwise?”
She pulled him into an embrace, rubbing soothing circles on his back as he relaxed into her. “I’m perfectly healthy and so is your son… or daughter.”
He leaned back, staring at her wide-eyed. “Oh, my God. I’m going to be a father.”
“I know. Hell hasn’t frozen over, by the way.”
“I’ll never hear the end of this from Jeannie.”
“She says you’re great with Madison.”
“That’s because Madison is exceptionally brilliant.”
“And I’ve seen you with Torren and Charin. You are a complete mushball. You are going to be a great father.”
“You really think so?”
Hannah smiled, holding his face gently between her palms. “I know so.”
xxx
“Wake up, Daddy!” Beth shouted, black pig-tails flying as she bounced on the bed. “It’s my birthday!”
“Is that their daughter?” Clarika asked.
“Yes, Elizabeth Diane. She turns three today.”
“She looks like him.”
“Yes, she does. Her little brother, Joseph, looks more like Hannah.”
Rodney sat up scowling then broke into a grin, reaching for her. Beth burst into giggles even before he began tickling her, collapsing on the bed when he did and shrieking with laughter. Hannah peeked in, bouncing Joey on her hip, and shook her head. Then she lightly tossed the boy on the bed and joined in the fun. Soon the entire family had tears streaking their faces.
“They look happy.”
Janus circled the room, nodding sadly. “They are happy. The expedition is flourishing. Rodney is making progress with his Wraith weapon. Hannah enjoys her work, and it gives her the flexibility to check in on the children at the daycare. They spend many evenings with Rodney’s teammates and their families. But most of all, they love being together.”
“It’s not going to last, is it?”
Part 2