"truth is the safest lie"
Valentines was nice. I think we've started a tradition of having it the day after the "real" one.
I've been thinking so much lately about Italy and everything...and I kick myself for the whole two years I was there. I read journals from all different times throughout the two years I was there and they all have something about how mad I was about being there or something in relation to it. I wish I could redo those two years. But then I think about it and the times inbetween were some of the best times of my life and the best experiences but I look back on it now and totally wish I enjoyed it more. Everyone was right when they used to tell me I was so lucky...I totally see it now. I hate how everyone is always right. I mean yea I was really happy to come back but I totally took my "two year vacation" for granted. That would probably be my biggest regret in life if I thought about it. Even though thats a heavy title, its a heavy subject.
But at the same time...I was reading stuff from like two years ago and I feel like such a different person. Life was so much easier back then, care free. I feel like I was so young and nieve but then again it was only three years ago.
I was sitting on the couch earlier watching TV and some commercial came on, I cant remember what it was about but it was some girl who was like all happy or something and it made me think that I dont like the person I have become recently. Going back to my last entry about all my "flaws" I really want to change all that...I dont like what its making me into. I feel like I'm an angry person and I dont give enough credit to people who care about me...especially my parents. I honestly feel like a shitty person.
I need a change.
I've been thinking so much lately about Italy and everything...and I kick myself for the whole two years I was there. I read journals from all different times throughout the two years I was there and they all have something about how mad I was about being there or something in relation to it. I wish I could redo those two years. But then I think about it and the times inbetween were some of the best times of my life and the best experiences but I look back on it now and totally wish I enjoyed it more. Everyone was right when they used to tell me I was so lucky...I totally see it now. I hate how everyone is always right. I mean yea I was really happy to come back but I totally took my "two year vacation" for granted. That would probably be my biggest regret in life if I thought about it. Even though thats a heavy title, its a heavy subject.
But at the same time...I was reading stuff from like two years ago and I feel like such a different person. Life was so much easier back then, care free. I feel like I was so young and nieve but then again it was only three years ago.
I was sitting on the couch earlier watching TV and some commercial came on, I cant remember what it was about but it was some girl who was like all happy or something and it made me think that I dont like the person I have become recently. Going back to my last entry about all my "flaws" I really want to change all that...I dont like what its making me into. I feel like I'm an angry person and I dont give enough credit to people who care about me...especially my parents. I honestly feel like a shitty person.
I need a change.