sorry of this seems like a sympathy cry its not.
my life seems to go in full circle.. at the beginning i feel lonely crap shit etc then as the circle moves i pick up and then carry on round i feel great and have lots of confidence but then i always go back to the beginning.
at the moment i feel kinda let down, abandoned even by my friends but looking at it from the out side it probably appears the other way round. i am saving for a new car, having far to expensive high lights done in my hair and this all costs my hard earned wages which means i dont have the money to go out. yes i could go into my over draft but i made the mistake once of getting in a lot of debt and i dont wanna go back especially as i finish my job in 2 weeks and havent yet got a job. (altho have got 2 interviews next week and had one last week that i am super keen on and the interview went well)
so they ask me to go out and i say no i cant and eventually they stop asking. which is understandable i guess. the other thing thats hard is boys. it doesnt bother me that much to be on my own in that sense but once friends get bfrnds thats it with the friendship (no this is NOT aimed at you laura your still the best) but my old best mate catherine just has no friends now because of her bfrnd.
it makes me feel sad but then i think i use my friends to replace the gap a bfrnd would fill. and i wont ever meet someone if i dont go out and meet new people. but meh i just dont feel like it i dont really like huge nites out in my local area its full of arrogant townies (blads to you welshies) and the perfect figured girls that make you confidence disappear.
i need to climb out of this rut and i know i will. just sometimes i dont feel strong enough on my own.
at the moment i feel kinda let down, abandoned even by my friends but looking at it from the out side it probably appears the other way round. i am saving for a new car, having far to expensive high lights done in my hair and this all costs my hard earned wages which means i dont have the money to go out. yes i could go into my over draft but i made the mistake once of getting in a lot of debt and i dont wanna go back especially as i finish my job in 2 weeks and havent yet got a job. (altho have got 2 interviews next week and had one last week that i am super keen on and the interview went well)
so they ask me to go out and i say no i cant and eventually they stop asking. which is understandable i guess. the other thing thats hard is boys. it doesnt bother me that much to be on my own in that sense but once friends get bfrnds thats it with the friendship (no this is NOT aimed at you laura your still the best) but my old best mate catherine just has no friends now because of her bfrnd.
it makes me feel sad but then i think i use my friends to replace the gap a bfrnd would fill. and i wont ever meet someone if i dont go out and meet new people. but meh i just dont feel like it i dont really like huge nites out in my local area its full of arrogant townies (blads to you welshies) and the perfect figured girls that make you confidence disappear.
i need to climb out of this rut and i know i will. just sometimes i dont feel strong enough on my own.