Salad Bar Blues (RP for Kara)

[summers_day]

When you got down to it, it was probably Peter Gallagher's fault.

Or Sandy Cohen's, more precisely. Not that Buffy exactly owned up to being a fan of the OC, especially not the recent seasons. But season 1 had come up in her media studies class -- something about psychosexual dynamics in Ryan and Seth's relationship -- and she'd been daydreaming

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[kara_marie]

Kara would of been rather surprised to realise that she and Buffy Summers had something in common aside from the whole slaying biz (she was pretty sure Buffy was NOT a natural blonde). But, Kara also had daydreams about Sandy Cohen - and had in moments substituted him, in her daydreams, in the place of her actual dad (or sometimes her Uncle, or Wesley, or Angel, depending on what male role model was failing to live up to expectations at the time). Sandy Cohen never failed to live up to expectations. He was the giver of endless advice, an always available ear, and the provider of that almost mythic thing: unconditional love.

Plus, he was a Jew. And Kara had a soft spot for Jewish men. They seemed so clean.

In fact, as she walked through the campus Kara was thinking about Sandy Cohen. It was a detailed daydream that she had developed over many months in her mind. In respect for her privacy I will avoid the details, but the daydream itself made certain that Kara had a smile on her face as she walked through the door to the cafe.

"Your directions," She greeted Buffy. "Were very good."

[summers_day]

When Kara walks in, she's smiling about something or other. This is the first thing that takes Buffy by surprise. She's managed to create a picture in her mind of a Kara who is constantly enraged about something or the other. But Kara's not only smiling, she's complimenting Buffy's directions. Buffy's relieved that she actually took the effort to do a good job with those -- and that, apparently, any irony went over the younger slayer's head.

"Thanks," says Buffy. She rises and half-moves to hug the girl, before wondering if she'd take it wrong -- they really don't know each other that well. Buffy stops and turns the gesture into a stretch and says. "So, umm, I was just about to get a Snapple. Do you want one?"

[kara_marie]

Kara generally ignores attempts to mock her (or what people try and pass off as 'irony', which she generally thinks is a way of dressing up rudeness to be clever rather than plain old impolite!). The exception to this is Connor. Where Connor is concerned she generally looks as hard as she can for something to get really mad about. But Connor is the exception to many rules.

"I don't drink snapple."

It wont take a very long conversation for Buffy to realise that Kara is both particular and assertive when it comes to what she does and doesn't eat and drink.

"It's actually very bad for you. You should maybe consider another refreshing beverage."

Buffy should also realise that she is not the only preachy little slayer in the world.

"I mean, even if you are kind of retired or whatever? You really should be looking after your health - or, you know, at least your figure."

Kara is very helpful. She has her most helpful smile plastered on her face.

"I'll have a refreshing Diet Coke." She says, before it occurs to her that perhaps the INSANITY has reached Boston! "They DO have DIET COKE here, don't they? I mean, they're not all freaked out about Columbus or whatever here, too?!?!?!"

The other defining factor in the Kara is she has excellent voice projection. It's really quite extraordinary.

[summers_day]

"Snapple has vitamin C," says Buffy. She tries to sound matter-of-fact, not defensive, but she's pretty sure that she'll end up paying 4 bucks for all-natural-pomegranate juice, or something, just to prove she takes care of herself.

As for the Diet Coke boycott, it's the kind of thing that Buffy would normally expect to make waves at an artsy school like Emerson. But it hasn't because of a more fundamental problem that that. Walking toward the counter, she says lightly, "Actually, they carry Pepsi here but. . .that should be fine, right?"

Buffy tries not to look around the snack bar for anybody that she knows. If Kara's going to make a scene, there's not much she can do about it at this point, and Buffy had rather not know who might be watching.

[kara_marie]

Seriously, what is wrong with the world? Pepsi? Pepsi?!?!?!? Pepsi tastes like soda gone bad and anyone who ever tries to offer it as a substitute for DC has clearly taken one too many blows to the head.

... Which in the case of Buffy is quite probable.

"I can't drink Pepsi." She says. And this time she manages to convey such depth of feeling, such pain and trauma and tragedy, that people turn to look. "I can't."

Her entire expression says HOW could you ask me to do such a terrible thing?

"I guess I'll have coffee. Or is that banned as well by you liberal minded fascists? Did the coffee makers upset Columbus as well? And anyway, I'll have you know, the whole thing is a total SCAM by the Pepsi co! Scammey bastardos. They have to play dirty due to their inferior products! I mean, hello? It was PEPSI that wanted to advertise on the MOON which is supposed to be, you know, the property or everyman or some crap. PEPSI! Not COKE!!!"

The girl waiting in line in front of them has now been served, and yes, she bought a Pepsi product.

"You REALLY shouldn't be purchasing that." Kara tells her. "They have ties with the, um, illuminati and, er, Masonaries... Mercenaries... You know, those weirdos with the handshake. Scientologists!"

[summers_day]

Honestly, Buffy has never been able to tell the difference between Pepsi and Coke, so say nothing of the diet versions and whatever 31 flavors they've come up with in the past few years. In fact, her months at Doublemeat Palace (which only stocked Pepsi, naturally) provided her with a sneaking suspicion that anybody who did claim to be able to tell the difference was just looking for an excuse to roll their eyes at their cashier and behave as though supplier decisions made on the corporate level were somehow HER fault.

Still, Buffy manages to keep smiling and to avoid pointing out that Nutra-sweet ruins the short term memory. She does manage to worry what kind of effect coffee is going to have on an already high-strung Kara, when she recognizes the girl that the younger slayer is ranting at.

Buffy doesn't actually know the girl well, but they had randomly sat together on the first day of media studies, and, on being introduced, Buffy had blurted out a fact that girl probably remembers -- You have the same name as my sister.

The girl, who has always seemed friendly enough, passes bewildered eyes over Kara, then stops when she sees Buffy. "Oh hey, Buffy! says the girl, then nods at Kara. "This must be Dawn. I can absolutely tell you're sisters. You two look so much alike!"

[kara_marie]

Will the indignity never end?

"We really don't." Kara says, focusing on the important element here - that she looks nothing like Buffy Summers - and forgetting to clarify the OTHER misconception. "She's - and I'm - well, just look at her nose!"

And for the record, Kara can totally tell the difference between Coke and Pepsi. It's not some psychological preference induced by brand positioning and marketing. The taste is completely different.

She orders a coffee.

[summers_day]

Buffy just gives other-Dawn a shrug -- like, Sisters, what can you do?. It doesn't particularly worry her whether people think she looks like Kara or not -- they're both petite and more or less blonde; that's all some people are going to see. Even in media studies, the professor is constantly confusing her with the classes other blonde, whose name is Bonnie.

The more important point seems to be that Kara doesn't object to being considered Buffy's sister, and she'll take that as a sign of not-open-hostility.

She orders a POM juice and a plastic cup of fruit -- together with Kara's coffee this comes to ten bucks and she reflects that Faith or Spike would shoplift from a place like this on general principle. Well, Faith or Spike wouldn't be here at all, actually, and they wouldn't be buying pomegranate juice and honeydew melon. But anyway.

Buffy pays for her and Kara, walks back to the table, and opens the fruit cup. "Want some?" She lifts a piece of canteloupe with her fingers.

[kara_marie]

She shakes her head to the fruit.

"I think it's one thing to decide you don't want to do something. Like, you know, drink DC. Whatever, you know? But I don't see why you should then go and inflict that on everyone else and ruin their lives in the process. I think that is very wrong. That's the difference between having INTEGRITY and just being plain old PREACHY."

Kara says this in her most preachy of tones.

"It's just so WRONG. You know?"

When Kara says you know it's never really a question. It's more her way of punctuated a sentence. She's usually talking again before you can let her know if you did or did not happen to know.

"But no one cares about right and wrong. They only care about what they want and what they can get away with! I mean, seriously, it's just like, you look at everyone and go - come on apocalypsey - we wouldn't be any worse off..."

An afterthought:

"Well, you know, not that much worse off! I like your ring, by the way!"

[summers_day]

Kara's segues -- or lack thereof -- could be somewhat dizzying to a mere mortal. But Buffy is a slayer; more to the point, she's a Slayer who grew up with Dawn as a little sister, and Willow as a best friend. It's a little frightening to realize, but Kara makes an awful lot of sense to her.

After a brief mental check about whether the ring has any mystical powers -- whether, say, it's something she picked up at Todd's that could mess up the space time continuing -- Buffy concludes that it's something she picked up a Geoclassics last time she was down at Faneiul Hall.

"It's crystal," she says, moving to take it off, "do you want to look?" Adding, "I'm almost sure it won't get you mystically pregnant."

[kara_marie]

"Sure, it's not like an earring. You shouldn't share earrings because of DISEASE. Not that I'm saying you have any diseases or whatever. I'm just talking in generalisations... about hygiene and stuff. You don't have herpes do you? Like statistically it's not a stupid question. Statistically you could very well have herpes. I mean, you could have a seriously contaminating disease and not even KNOW about it and I'm absolutely refusing to get herpes. I'd rather get totally spawned up from a ring than get herpes!"

It's not a bad goal as far as goals go.

New Years Resolution: I will not contract Herpes.

"Although, that said, how sick are we of people spawning?" She continues as she slips the ring on. "I mean, is there NO END TO THE MADNESS? Cordelia has SO flipped out and wont drink coffee or anything and is all PARANOID that people are after her baby. No, really! I think we might be dealing with late on-set schitzophrenia or something. Which is a total WORRY because, hello, Cordy was the ONLY HOPE that baby has."

She holds her hand up to look at the ring. She doesn't feel like she's got a mystic pregnancy or mystic herpes.

[summers_day]

"I dunno," Buffy says diplomatically. "I mean, I never would have thought this when we were your age, but I bet Cordy will be a good mom. And, her husband's well. . .famous." Something strikes her. "Oh my God, you know how famous people always give their kids totally stupid names? What do you think Cordelia and Orlando will come up with?"

She's not even going to touch Todd and Piper, in case Kara doesn't already know. Though considering that Todd's been sending around E-announcements that say, "It's a charmed one!" she imagines Kara has heard.

Then, vaguely remembering she's supposed to be the responsible mentoring adult one, she says, "And, whenever you're ready. . .what did you want to talk about?"