Justin
Some reason, I just got Justin on the brain...
I miss the way he totally loved me, no matter what I said or did to try and prove him otherwise. And I lie when I say its all about the kids too. Don't get me wrong or anything, the kids were beautiful and funny (THUG LIFE BITCH!) but it was more about Justin.
I think I kind of liked the soul that was deep inside of him, thug and all. I felt so accepted in the inner circle of wives and girlfriends of jailbirds. It was like our own private meeting of the massess to try and get everything together before we rode the elevator up to the tiny rooms where we could talk to them for 20 minutes through thick glass and a telephone.
I feel awefully guilty for leaving like I did.
Getting married was one thing, but I didn't even say goodbye. So I wonder what he is doing now. His mom said he was in Longmont or something, but I don't know why he would be out there when the kids are in Denver? Wonder if he found someone, not BObby, hopefully. I hope he is still alive. I remember when he was pulling that shit like a girl, telling me he was on his way to death, that I couldn't stop him from killing himself cause he already did and he's on his way. But he wanted to tell me that I was responsible for it. Asshole. I was devestated and believed him!
"Hey Beautiful"
That is how he talked to me all the time. Told me I was perfect, when I wasn't even fucking close.
Patrick called me the other day. He said he had something to tell me, but he had to go, and needed me to call him later, but since the sleeping thing is fucked up, I am totally off kelter and it is 2 there. I wonder if he has seen Justin. Do I care, yes.
This sucks so bad.
I miss the way he totally loved me, no matter what I said or did to try and prove him otherwise. And I lie when I say its all about the kids too. Don't get me wrong or anything, the kids were beautiful and funny (THUG LIFE BITCH!) but it was more about Justin.
I think I kind of liked the soul that was deep inside of him, thug and all. I felt so accepted in the inner circle of wives and girlfriends of jailbirds. It was like our own private meeting of the massess to try and get everything together before we rode the elevator up to the tiny rooms where we could talk to them for 20 minutes through thick glass and a telephone.
I feel awefully guilty for leaving like I did.
Getting married was one thing, but I didn't even say goodbye. So I wonder what he is doing now. His mom said he was in Longmont or something, but I don't know why he would be out there when the kids are in Denver? Wonder if he found someone, not BObby, hopefully. I hope he is still alive. I remember when he was pulling that shit like a girl, telling me he was on his way to death, that I couldn't stop him from killing himself cause he already did and he's on his way. But he wanted to tell me that I was responsible for it. Asshole. I was devestated and believed him!
"Hey Beautiful"
That is how he talked to me all the time. Told me I was perfect, when I wasn't even fucking close.
Patrick called me the other day. He said he had something to tell me, but he had to go, and needed me to call him later, but since the sleeping thing is fucked up, I am totally off kelter and it is 2 there. I wonder if he has seen Justin. Do I care, yes.
This sucks so bad.