Through A Looking Glass [3b/?]
Title: Through A Looking Glass [3b/?]
Author:
summerrainsonme
Rating: PG-13 to R
Pairings: Kyuhae, Yewook, Teuksora, Hanchul, Taeyeon/Jessica, Sunsun, Hyohyuk. Mentions of others.
Summary: You don't look at the world in black and white. You don't think when you breathe. You don't ask to die. You don't ask to live. You don't choose who your heart beats for. You fall, and you fall hard.
Chapter III
Part II
"You look so tasty I could eat you up alive."
Finishing off the last of his text message, Donghae put his phone in his pocket and faced the dark-haired guy with him, saying, "It's twelve o'clock now. Think that we should go right about now?"
Though there had been an hour where business had been slow, Donghae knew that people would come flooding back in sometime soon-and he was right. At about ten-thirty, there seemed to be a whole myriad of couples that came in, women in fancy red dresses that flared on the bottom and men with sharp eyes and crisp suits. Kyuhyun had looked at them warily, and Donghae explained to him that this was a sort of get-together place that most business associates nearby used. His uncle didn't complain because they sort of gave off an elegant air and they kept the money rolling in.
Many had grazed their eyes over both Kyuhyun and Donghae at their lone table, two teenagers in their scruffy clothes that could barely pass as acceptable in their eyes. He caught the suspicion in them, and with one man, he had even looked at Kyuhyun as if he was a piece of meat. Donghae had raised an eyebrow at that, but when asked what he was staring at, he had shot back with a teasing sentence at the younger.
"Hm," Kyuhyun said, standing up slightly, Donghae following after in a sort of instinctive movement. The younger yawned. "I think that would be a good idea. I have class on Monday...and I still have to finish...some assignments." Every pause was another yawn. Donghae started to feel bad for keeping him out so late.
As they exited the restaurant, Donghae brought a good point to the other's attention: "We still have to get to the car. You know that it's another block away, right?"
Kyuhyun groaned. "I'm not letting you carry me this time."
"Why? Embarrassed? I used to do it for Eunhyuk too, don't worry. And boy, was he one hell of a heavy guy."
Kyuhyun shot a glare at the other, but its effects were watered down by the yawn that followed after. "Just...I'll stand here or something, and you can go get the car and drive here...and stuff. And I'll tell you where my dorm is. And you can drive me home."
Donghae eyed the other worriedly. "What if you get snatched off the sidewalk or something, though? You're not exactly a black belt, you know."
"I know that," the other grumbled under his breath, "I'll just stay inside the restaurant, so go on and run to get the car."
"You sure?"
Kyuhyun sighed, exasperated. "Just go, hyung!"
Donghae raised an eyebrow, and Kyuhyun realized what he said too late. The brunette grinned and Kyuhyun slapped his forehead. Donghae reached forward and ruffled Kyuhyun's hair, making his bangs stick up in all directions. At that moment, Kyuhyun seemed more like a discouraged puppy than a grouchy seventeen-year old. Well, maybe not a puppy, Donghae thought as he took in Kyuhyun's large, slanted eyes. Maybe a kitten.
"I knew you'd call me hyung!" Donghae said, sounding victorious. "Alright, go inside and stay awake until I get the car here. Jeez, if I had known, we could've ate somewhere closer..." he hummed, ignoring Kyuhyun's murderous look and how he reached up to obsessively fix his bangs, grumbling all the way to the door back inside. Donghae turned around and began running in the now-familiar direction of the karaoke place. Inwardly, he hoped that Eunhyuk hadn't taken the car or anything, and gotten his previous texts too.
He found himself lucky when he passed the karaoke place, finding that it felt weird to be going past it as of now. It seemed like such a long time ago that both he and Kyuhyun had been there.
Donghae walked a few more paces before taking out his keys and pressing a small button. A familiar black car beeped in response and he got in it quickly, shoving in the keys and revving up the engine, impatiently tapping his fingers on the wheel as if it would help the car heat up any faster.
With a sigh of relief and confusion (why was he in such a hurry anyway?) he took the car out and drove the short distance to the restaurant, making sure to avoid any unnecessary traffic incidents. It seemed as though there were a thousand on his way, and he felt oddly giddy.
He stopped in front of the restaurant, craning his neck to look around before opening the side window. There he spotted Kyuhyun, standing in between two guys and looking very, very annoyed. The others seemed to be talking to him and he was obviously ignoring them, by the way he wouldn't meet their eyes and his lips were pressed into a thin line. Suddenly, one of the guys put his arm around Kyuhyun's shoulder drunkenly, and Kyuhyun stepped back will a full-fledged scowl; Donghae, in a fit of irritation that he himself didn't understand, honked the horn of his car once.
It got the attention of all three males; Kyuhyun didn't stop scowling, but he did push past both of them and as he crossed over to the passenger's side, Donghae saw a glint of fear embedded in his eyes.
As soon as the other was seated inside, Donghae pressed on the pedal and they were off. Kyuhyun let out an irritated breath. "Couldn't you have come earlier?"
"I came as fast as I could," Donghae said breezily, though to his surprise there seemed to be an edge to his voice that only he identified. Cautiously, keeping his eyes straight on the road, he questioned, "Were they hitting on you?"
He didn't hear any answer for a long time, so when the next red light came Donghae stopped and turned his head slightly. Kyuhyun was staring forward as well, refusing to meet his eyes. "It's happened before," he said finally. "Guys hitting on me. Usually drunk. I ignore them until they just give up or something."
Donghae grimaced. "You should think of something better. One day, a stalker's going to follow you home and you'll be completely powerless."
"Shut up," Kyuhyun's answer was predictable, and it caused Donghae to grin. "I'm not gonna get raped, okay? They're just losers and usually, they leave if I give them a hint that I'm not interested."
"Still. Maybe you can go learn some wushu moves or something."
"Like Sungmin?" Kyuhyun snorted. "Look at how he's turned out. No thanks."
Donghae shook his head and smiled. "Just look at what we're talking about: guys hitting on you. Honestly, does this happen a lot?"
A quiet pause, and then Kyuhyun let out an embarrassed, "Y-yeah."
Donghae couldn't help it; he snickered.
"Would you just-it's not my fault, okay? I don't know why they do, they just do, and I hate it!"
After the last bout of his laughter went away, Donghae joked, "Maybe something about you reels 'em all in." In the mood to tease him, Donghae turned around and pretended to scrutinize the younger, which made Kyuhyun squirm. "It might be that you have a close resemblance to a girl."
"Shut up. I do not."
Donghae remembered the line of Kyuhyun's hips and his mouth became insanely dry. He ignored it and let out a bemused, "Mhm. Where's your dorm? I'm near the university's grounds."
"Southside," the words on Kyuhyun's tongue rolled pleasantly. "First building." Donghae nodded and turned the wheel, making a turn into the parking lot and commenting, "I live in Northside. Just on the opposite street."
"I know where Northside is," came the sarcastic answer. Donghae just laughed in response.
In a few minutes Donghae stopped in front of the doors to the dormitory, and Kyuhyun fumbled for his seatbelt. Once it was off the younger quickly opened the door and shut it, tapping the window and waving a really quick goodbye that made Donghae smile before running off beyond the double doors.
It was only until he was in the safe vicinity of his own dorm room that he realized that he hadn't asked for his jacket back.
.
Kyuhyun scratched the tickling hairs on his neck and his hand brushed across leather, reminding him with a start that he forgot to return Donghae's jacket. Frowning, he took it off quickly, slinging it over his arm. He didn't know the older man's schedule or his number, so he would have to rely on luck or something to get it back-maybe he could ask Sungmin for one of his many contacts. He knew that guy-Eunhyuk, he remembered-was Donghae's friend, and he was also Sungmin's study-buddy. As Sungmin had coined it.
The dark-haired male bit his lip and searched his pockets for the keys, surprised that they were still in his pocket from all the moving that he had done today. Kyuhyun just knew that tomorrow his legs and arms would ache like hell. He wasn't much of an exercise buff; he was skinny enough anyway.
He was met with the smell of freshly-cooked ramen and the sound of something beeping. He recognized it as the rice cooker and frowned. Sungmin never cooked; that was usually left to Kyuhyun, for he was the one that Ryeowook had spent weeks teaching.
"Hyung," he called out to the seemingly-empty living room, taking off his shoes and holding Donghae's jacket in his hand instead, "You here?"
"In the kitchen," he heard Sungmin reply back quickly. Kyuhyun's frown became even deeper; his best friend's voice sounded scratchy and harsh, and he had only heard Sungmin sound like that twice before; once after a hangover from an accidental punch-bowl incident, and another from when one of his brothers had almost died in a car crash.
Kyuhyun hurriedly ran a hand through his hair and went to his room, putting Donghae's jacket down on his bed and then walking out to the kitchen. Sungmin sat in one of the wooden chairs settled into the small wooden table they used as a dining set. His eyes were slightly bloodshot and Kyuhyun was alarmed to see that he looked sickly pale.
"You haven't been drinking, have you?" he asked suspiciously. Sungmin wasn't one to drink, but Kyuhyun moved forward and sniffed the air lightly.
Sungmin scoffed. "Give me some credit. No, I just have a major headache."
Kyuhyun pulled up a chair quietly and sat down, bringing his legs up and crossing them on the chair. He laid his arms on the table and put his chin on them, staring at Sungmin silently. "What happened? You look like shit."
The other didn't say anything for a while, and Kyuhyun's eyes flickered to the covered pot on the stove, and the slightly-steaming rice cooker. He would have to check those. "Heechul's in my room," Sungmin finally said, his voice echoing slightly in the empty kitchen.
"Heechul-hyung?" Kyuhyun repeated, surprised. "What's he doing here?" Why hadn't he noticed an extra pair of shoes or something on the way in?
Sungmin's mouth pursed in that way that told Kyuhyun that he was unhappy. "He...did something at karaoke. So I offered him a place to stay, because god, you know how his parents are like and they'd flip their shit." Sungmin rubbed his temples, sighing. "I brought him here after driving Eunhyuk home." At this, he gave Kyuhyun a pointed look. "Because apparently, his friend wasn't there to pick him up."
Kyuhyun shrugged, innocent. "I was bored. Donghae offered to hang out, so I said okay." Rather, he was dragged, but he wasn't going to say that in front of Sungmin.
The other snorted incredulously, but Kyuhyun scowled at him and stood up to take care of the rice cooker. "So, what did Heechul-hyung do?" he asked amiably, waiting for what caused Sungmin such a headache this night.
Kyuhyun had known Heechul for most of his life; not as much as Sungmin, but it almost felt like it. The older man was twenty-one, an English major, and in his last year of college while Kyuhyun was in his first. He was known for being outspoken, loud, and certain in his beliefs. Heechul was expressive and unafraid of consequences to his actions, which often fueled his harebrained schemes. But Kyuhyun could see that Heechul was about the same as him; the same wit, the same sense of humour, the same mindset. He just wasn't as as exploitive as Heechul was, though.
"Kissed Hankyung in front of everyone," Sungmin informed off-handedly. "And then admitted he was gay."
Kyuhyun paused in his movements, and Sungmin watched him from the back carefully. Everyone knew that despite the young man's exterior, he adored Heechul. Sometimes Sungmin got jealous because of how much they were able to talk, but he was always reigned it back in when he was able to appreciate the close friendship he and Kyuhyun had.
The seventeen year old continued turning off the rice cooker and taking off the lid to let some steam out. "Well, it's about time. I should get him flowers or something for how far he's gotten."
Sungmin choked on air. "You knew?"
"Well," Kyuhyun paused, "It wasn't that hard to piece together, you know." At Sungmin's suspicious look, he continued, "Plus, Heechul told me a while ago."
Sungmin scoffed and snorted at the same time, making an odd sound that could only be attributed to him. "Of course. You're too airheaded to notice anything outside of your little dream world."
A flying spoon came scarily close to hitting Sungmin's head, who almost fell off his chair trying to avoid it. He was met with Kyuhyun's glare. "You can shut up. And turn off the stove; it's going to burn, goddammit."
"What's going to burn?" Heechul's sleepy voice caused both Sungmin and Kyuhyun to turn their heads to face him. Kyuhyun took in Heechul's ruffled hair and the slight tiredness in his eyes, the uncharacteristic sweatpants and over-sized shirt that Kyuhyun's only seen him wear when he was getting over a hangover.
"The ramen," Kyuhyun responded. "You finally woke up, hyung?"
"Don't give me that shit. Where have you been?"
"Don't sound like my mother, 'kay."
"Both of you shut the hell up," Sungmin piped up from his corner, reaching over to shut off the stove with a simple flick of the fingers. "And sit down. Heechul, you're going to eat, and Kyuhyun, you're going to sleep."
Immediate refusals were met at his commanding tone. "I feel like I'm going to throw up and you're making me eat?" "You're not allowed to be my mother either, Sungmin!"
Sungmin shot a pointed look toward Kyuhyun, who sobered and rolled his eyes. "Sungmin, I doubt that Heechul-hyung will feel better with all the mushy-crap talk that you'll give him once I'm gone."
"Don't you have class tomorrow?" Sungmin fired back quickly before Heechul could open his mouth.
"It's on Monday. Today is Saturday. Get your head out of the clouds. Are you sure you haven't been drinking?"
Heechul groaned. "Don't take about alcohol, please. I think that someone spiked something there, because my head hurts like fucking hell."
Sungmin stood up. "We have aspirin," he said, shuffling over to the cabinet on the opposite side of the kitchen. "It's in here somewhere..."
"Should be on the middle shelf," Kyuhyun responded absentmindedly, frowning. "Hyung, what about your sister? Taeyeon-ssi? How'd she take it? I know you guys are close, and no way she'd let you sleep somewhere other than your own room."
Both music majors quieted as the atmosphere in the kitchen changed. Heechul's face became morose, his eyes cloudy. His face looked paler with the halo of shockingly-red hair around his cheeks and forehead. They made light freckles on his nose-something that he would no doubt fuss over if told about-pop out a bit. All in all, he looked sort of sick.
"She needs time to think it over," he said distractedly. "And I'm giving her that time."
"She could tell your parents," Sungmin said quietly.
"It's a risk that I have to take. I chose to come out today, and so I did." Heechul pursed his lips. "She's my sister. I trust her to do whatever she's going to do."
Kyuhyun and Sungmin shared a glance. The words between them went unsaid as Kyuhyun began to scoop ramen into two bowls, spooning rice into another bowl as well and opening the fridge for some chilled kimchi that was left over from yesterday's dinner. Heechul's parents were well-known for being the most religious family you'd ever see; their father was a volunteer in the local church and their mother being one of those great, sweet, soccer mums that you saw once in a while. She was in practically every helpful organization you could hear about.
But they would, no doubt, be shocked by the news of their son being gay-something that Kyuhyun had heard Heechul's father speak out about more than once. Unfortunately, Heechul had gotten his short temper from his father. And his incredible stubbornness.
"What about Hankyung?" Sungmin spoke up suddenly, shaking them from all their thoughts. "What did he say? This is about him too, you know."
For the first time that night, Heechul smiled. It was one of those genuine smiles that you knew wasn't fake. "We're an item now. He asked me a few days ago and I said I would give him an answer soon. This was my answer."
Kyuhyun brought up a half-smile. "That's great, hyung," he said, wondering how the mention of one person could bring such an expression to Heechul-Kim Heechul's-face. "You must be happy." He set down the two bowls of ramen in front of them and wiped his hands on a nearby towel.
"You're not joining us?" Sungmin asked.
"I already ate." Kyuhyun ran a hand through his hair. "I'll just go to sleep, actually. It is pretty late."
Heechul nodded, picking up his chopsticks and saying a quick sentence under his breath. "See you tomorrow morning, dongsaeng." Sungmin motioned for the same thing, taking a large serving and shoving it into his mouth.
Kyuhyun walked with slow steps to his room, cleaning up random things on the way. He wasn't opposed to men liking other men or women liking other women; not at all. He learned that love was love in all its ways, but for some reason he couldn't find himself to understand how people were attracted to one another. He never knew the feeling, no matter how embarrassing that may be to admit. He had only ever seen men-woman couples, holding hands down the street and kissing in store corners.
He had to admit, he was sort of scared of the whole 'gay' thing. Not that he was homophobic; far from it. He was happy that Heechul had finally gotten someone to like, and he didn't care that it was another man. He just barely understood the topic of 'love' in general, really. To him, it was a sort of illusion that you didn't really understand until you experienced it yourself, and even then, he wasn't sure if it was really 'love'. What was love anyway? And emotion? Who could you feel it for and what did it feel like?
He was scared because it was new territory. And he didn't like new. He liked his familiar ways and all his familiar routines; he was almost sort of obsessed with it, if he was being honest with himself.
Kyuhyun opened the door to his room and shoved away all the confusing thoughts about Heechul and feelings in his head. He wouldn't think of them anymore-besides, he had a song to finish tomorrow and that took some time to accomplish to his satisfaction.
He made it to his bed and stopped at the sight of a leather jacket on his blanket. His eyes followed the loopy script of Donghae stitched into the back, and he blinked a few times and bit his lip again before grabbing the jacket and putting it on the back of his chair where he couldn't see it from the angle of his bed.
And then he slipped in between the covers and went to sleep, not bothering to change. His dreams were filled with bright, twinkling lights on water, musky cologne, and warmth.
.
Taeyeon walked up the paved road to her front door with her heels in hand, knowing that her makeup was ruined and that her older brother was probably crashing somewhere else for the night. Maybe for the rest of the week too. The slightly-rough texture of the ground was more than welcome to her aching feet, and she enjoyed the feeling of having her feet flat on the ground for once that night.
She hobbled all the way to her door, her mind flashing back to the sober moments of happiness before the whole night had taken a turn for the worse. Arguing with Heechul; seeing Sunny's smile; Seohyun's vibrato ringing through the room. Taeyeon's mind brought up pictures of Tiffany, swiping mascara over her lashes, and Jessica, speaking coldly and indifferently.
Honestly, Taeyeon was more than angry with Heechul and just a little bit jealous. To think that he would actually think that she would've told their parents! She was better than that! She knew better...knew the fear that he was going through, knew what kind of terrifying experience it must've been to throw caution to the wind. And, yes, maybe her words were slightly hypocritical, but she couldn't help it. She was hurt when Heechul had kept his orientation from her, and she knew that it would be made far worse if he knew that she was doing the same-and she still called him out on it. Knowing Heechul, she'd get more of a catfight than actual understanding.
Telling your family and friends that you liked girls wasn't exactly easy.
In Taeyeon's head, she was much better at it. Heechul had shown his flair for it outwardly, thinking back on it, but at the time she had attributed it to his naturally out-spoken personality.
Taeyeon was angry at herself, for not being able to help her brother at his time of need, angry at him, because he didn't trust her enough to tell her (and maybe, maybe she would've been courageous enough to tell him the same) and jealous, jealous because Heechul was free, free in a way that she wasn't.
She hobbled the way to her front door, looking up auspiciously to see that the lights were off in the second floor of the house, where her parents' room was. Taeyeon paused, her hands gripping her keys tightly as she stared at the doorknob.
No matter how much she tried to get herself to stick the goddamn key in and open the door, she couldn't do it. Her hand shook and pretty soon she was stuffing her keys back into her purse and flipping open her phone with one hand and putting on a heel in the other.
"Tiffany?" Taeyeon said, her voice clear through the dead silence. "I'm in front of my house. Pick me up and let me crash at your dorm for the night?"
Tiffany came about ten minutes later, when Taeyeon had made herself look at least a little bit presentable-as in, fixed her clothes and made sure that she got her bearings from wearing those tall heels again-and Tiffany got out of the car and crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow.
"I don't want to go inside," Taeyeon said in a way of explanation. Her eyes slid across the vast expanse of the no doubt, expensive looking house. "I'll sleep on the couch or something. Just-please."
Tiffany sighed. "You know I'd never say no, Tae. Get inside, it's cold out." Taeyeon smiled in weak relief and followed Tiffany inside the car, closing the car door after her. Tiffany slipped into the driver's side, starting up the engine.
"Heechul's with Sungmin and his dormmate," Tiffany said absentmindedly, backing up the car, staring forward into the night and not at Taeyeon. There were no words to be said; Taeyeon nodded understandingly, and neither girl said a word for the rest of the night.
.
Hyukjae was waiting for Donghae by the time that he came home, tired and patting his hair down. Strangely, he didn't feel all that sad about his jacket; he would just get it from Kyuhyun later. Maybe ask someone for his number. Thinking back on it, it was kind of stupid that he hadn't asked for his new friend's number; they had certainly brought out their cellphones more than once.
Donghae closed the door behind him when he heard, "Hae? You're finally back?"
He turned around, a little surprised, but the surprise faded into a scoffing grin as Hyukjae crossed his arms and raised a brow. "Please. Like you have never gone out later than I have."
"Yeah, but this time I had to get home with someone else," Hyukjae said, and Donghae noticed that he sounded sort of uncomfortable. Which was weird, because Donghae knew for a fact that even though he didn't know about Sungmin, Hyukjae did, and they were good friends. He didn't know why Hyuk would be uncomfortable riding with Sungmin.
"So...?" he trailed, prompting for an answer. Eunhyuk sighed. "Where'd you go?"
"Out with a friend I met," Donghae answered immediately. He shuffled forward. "What's up? Why are you acting so weird?"
"It's just..." Hyukjae bit his lip, and his eyebrows furrowed. Donghae waited for his best friend to continue on. "Did you know Heechul's gay?"
Donghae's head snapped around, his eyes wide. "R-really? Um..." His mind flashed to the feminine man, with a loud voice and exuberant personality. The corner of his mouth twitched, and he shrugged. "Well, that's not really surprising..."
Hyukjae, however, stared at him. "You're not-you're not surprised or anything?"
"Well, I guess I was for a second." Literally a second. "But you know Heechul-hyung-it's just...well, it's not really hard to believe." Donghae grinned. "That's great for him, I guess. Um...why? Does it...bother you or something?" Donghae knew that Hyukjae had lived a more sheltered life than he had; his parents were faithful Catholics, and before Donghae moved in right next door when they were ten, Hyukjae hung out with the other boy-next-door-Choi Siwon, a handsome guy who was as faithful as he was courteous.
Hyukjae saw the question in Donghae's tone and he immediately denied it-perhaps too fast for Donghae's sake. "No, no! I just...I guess I'm more dense than I thought. Apparently everyone saw it beforehand except for me-Sungmin-hyung, Tiffany, Hyoyeon..." Hyukjae ran a hand through his head. "It's really late. My brain is having trouble processing things."
"Doesn't it always?" Donghae got himself a punch in the shoulder for that comment.
"Go to sleep," Hyukjae snapped, but Donghae only laughed. He heard his best friend's voice echo behind him as he made his way to his room: "And stop being so chipper!"
Donghae ignored Hyukjae and changed into an oversized shirt and sweatpants, flopping into bed and forgetting all the thoughts and suspicions that had plagued him throughout the day.
so, once again, thanks to my lovely beta zoe :oo I'm thinking that I'll have a set time to post this. How's every Friday sound? well, in my time, at least, lol.
((oh, and try to guess the song that the one-line came from up on the chapter's title. free drabble of their choice to anyone who does. and no cheating. .-.))
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