aah!
the weirdest thing just happened.
my sister left for YLA project adventure.
HILARY.
MY LITTLE SISTER.
i got kind of choked up when she left because it all sort of hit me at once.
i'm not a high schooler anymore. it's not the summer before 10th grade anymore and i'm not arriving at the camp and meeting my group and setting up my tent and being excited about the year to come. many of my friendships from YLA have come and gone. many are still going strong! but it's long over.
obviously, YLA was 2 years ago, but i still sort of had it in my mind this whole time like i'm still part of it or it's still kind of... there.
but now that hilary is doing YLA, it suddenly seems so far away and unreachable.
after the "i'm not a high schooler/YLA kid anymore" part hit me, the second one was:
hilary is now the high schooler/YLA kid that i still think i am.
she's that big and grown up. she's tall and smart and enthusiastic and she's making new friends and trying new things. and i'm not sure i'm ready for that.
and if that person is hilary, not me... then i must be someone else. clearly i know who that is-- a college kid, but i dont completely feel that way yet. i still feel like it's the summer before 10th grade.
this is all very confusing.
my sister left for YLA project adventure.
HILARY.
MY LITTLE SISTER.
i got kind of choked up when she left because it all sort of hit me at once.
i'm not a high schooler anymore. it's not the summer before 10th grade anymore and i'm not arriving at the camp and meeting my group and setting up my tent and being excited about the year to come. many of my friendships from YLA have come and gone. many are still going strong! but it's long over.
obviously, YLA was 2 years ago, but i still sort of had it in my mind this whole time like i'm still part of it or it's still kind of... there.
but now that hilary is doing YLA, it suddenly seems so far away and unreachable.
after the "i'm not a high schooler/YLA kid anymore" part hit me, the second one was:
hilary is now the high schooler/YLA kid that i still think i am.
she's that big and grown up. she's tall and smart and enthusiastic and she's making new friends and trying new things. and i'm not sure i'm ready for that.
and if that person is hilary, not me... then i must be someone else. clearly i know who that is-- a college kid, but i dont completely feel that way yet. i still feel like it's the summer before 10th grade.
this is all very confusing.