"if i don't say this now, i will surely break"
so all in all, i was pleasantly surprised by saturday.
it's weird, because when i had first met james at the beginning of the trip, i had dismissed him as not the type of guy im usually friends with, let alone one id have feelings for... i guess my image of he and geoff and david was that they were the stereotypical teenage boys who like to make inappropriate jokes and who can never be serious. of course, i realized how nice they were by the end of the trip.
but wow! james and geoff were so sweet to me and jess, and i just felt so happy the whole time. james paid for me, and carried my purse and coat-- it was so cute! and when we all watched anchorman at jess's house, he was cuddly in such an adorable, gentle way (not in an attacking or creepy way). which was nice. i felt really comfortable. it was totally relaxed, not stressful. although i probably giggled a little too much, i still wasnt nervous. i didnt feel like i had to try to be anything or anyone different.
so im so glad i got to know him, because obviously my first impression was wrong. i guess it just goes to show that i shouldnt make first judgments on people. who knows where we will end up, but it seems to be going in a good direction right now :-) i mean, we dont have to have this super serious relationship or anything... college IS coming in a few months, but it cant hurt in the meantime, can it?
in other news, my dad heard from one of his colleagues who knows admissions people at bowdoin that bowdoin won't be going to their wait list at all this year... so if my dad's colleague is right... that's that. in a way im kind of glad that no one got in off the wait list, because then i dont have to feel like its personal. and now i can get more excited about conn! i really do love it there. next year will be fun no matter what. and also, this is kinda weird but i really hope i dont get in off the wait lists at wesleyan or vassar, because then id have to make the decision all over again. at this point, i just want to know. this is my future! i want certainty!!! erg.
life is so unpredictable. i wish i could change everything that goes wrong. i am feeling so grateful for my life lately-- i have it so easy that sometimes it makes me feel guilty. of course, it's not my fault that i live in such a happy family and that my worries are small. i just got lucky. sometimes though, i feel like i could be a better friend if only i understood what others are going through. but i really have no idea. i cant grasp it. im not wishing for anything bad to happen to me-- i just feel bad for being so naive sometimes. but im trying! i love you, dear.
wow, its a total downpour outside and i waited to listen to the intercom to see if they said anything about practice being moved... they called just about every other sport, but of course, we are still going to be out there running. good job, coach.
it's 2:10... i just wasted all the time i could have spent studying for the ap test tomorrow. haha... i never do anything when i come home early for a free block.
well, oh well.
it's weird, because when i had first met james at the beginning of the trip, i had dismissed him as not the type of guy im usually friends with, let alone one id have feelings for... i guess my image of he and geoff and david was that they were the stereotypical teenage boys who like to make inappropriate jokes and who can never be serious. of course, i realized how nice they were by the end of the trip.
but wow! james and geoff were so sweet to me and jess, and i just felt so happy the whole time. james paid for me, and carried my purse and coat-- it was so cute! and when we all watched anchorman at jess's house, he was cuddly in such an adorable, gentle way (not in an attacking or creepy way). which was nice. i felt really comfortable. it was totally relaxed, not stressful. although i probably giggled a little too much, i still wasnt nervous. i didnt feel like i had to try to be anything or anyone different.
so im so glad i got to know him, because obviously my first impression was wrong. i guess it just goes to show that i shouldnt make first judgments on people. who knows where we will end up, but it seems to be going in a good direction right now :-) i mean, we dont have to have this super serious relationship or anything... college IS coming in a few months, but it cant hurt in the meantime, can it?
in other news, my dad heard from one of his colleagues who knows admissions people at bowdoin that bowdoin won't be going to their wait list at all this year... so if my dad's colleague is right... that's that. in a way im kind of glad that no one got in off the wait list, because then i dont have to feel like its personal. and now i can get more excited about conn! i really do love it there. next year will be fun no matter what. and also, this is kinda weird but i really hope i dont get in off the wait lists at wesleyan or vassar, because then id have to make the decision all over again. at this point, i just want to know. this is my future! i want certainty!!! erg.
life is so unpredictable. i wish i could change everything that goes wrong. i am feeling so grateful for my life lately-- i have it so easy that sometimes it makes me feel guilty. of course, it's not my fault that i live in such a happy family and that my worries are small. i just got lucky. sometimes though, i feel like i could be a better friend if only i understood what others are going through. but i really have no idea. i cant grasp it. im not wishing for anything bad to happen to me-- i just feel bad for being so naive sometimes. but im trying! i love you, dear.
wow, its a total downpour outside and i waited to listen to the intercom to see if they said anything about practice being moved... they called just about every other sport, but of course, we are still going to be out there running. good job, coach.
it's 2:10... i just wasted all the time i could have spent studying for the ap test tomorrow. haha... i never do anything when i come home early for a free block.
well, oh well.