i guess ill start updating again...
im gonna update this again.
just for the summer.
since i started it the day school ended freshman year.
and school ended today for my junior year.
lets see how diffrent this summer is.
start of summer= pretty shitty
sunday night was fun, but thats not the begining of summer.
it really sucks when the only person u can talk too about how your feeling is the person who is making you feel like shit.
im pretty sure part of me died tonight.
trust is nothing unless proven over a long period of time, but the second you break that trust, its back too ground zero.
he claims he wont be the same as everyother person, he wont leave me and fall out of my life.
hell hes worse than anyother person, atleast they left when they broke my heart, he stayed and did it more than once.
but i still love him too death, he is my best friend and my other half.
thats what sucks
im not even gonna sit here and whine about how my heart is broken, shatered on the floor.
im done opeing myself up, i dont want too alow myself too be hurt anymore.
no more opening up.
no more dating, im just destined too be alone.
i surivie, theirs worse things in life
atleast im breathing right?
thats really the only matter in life.
otherwise, the begining of today was good i guess.
not really
jesus just hates me today, for many reasons.
sucidie is the pussy way out, id rather just lock myself in my room and play mario all day.
witch is what i plan on doing tomorrow, since i called off work.
i think im done now
idk i dont want too go too bed
i dont want too half too stand that 30mintues or so of laying in your bed and thinking thoughts while your drifing off too bed
i had too fake being asleep a few mintues ago, and i wasent in bed for more than 2mintues and i was allredy tearing up.
please shoot me, someone.
or get me starbucks and come play mario with me.
___
We held hands on the last night on earth. Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves. It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river. So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea and the shattered seasons lay, and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease. In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner." The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress. The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop. The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime. I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked if you would accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't good for two. I rode alone. You said, "The cinders are falling like snow." There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence. Of blue and grey. Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city. The sun has stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines. Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward, and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched into the earth like a message.
just for the summer.
since i started it the day school ended freshman year.
and school ended today for my junior year.
lets see how diffrent this summer is.
start of summer= pretty shitty
sunday night was fun, but thats not the begining of summer.
it really sucks when the only person u can talk too about how your feeling is the person who is making you feel like shit.
im pretty sure part of me died tonight.
trust is nothing unless proven over a long period of time, but the second you break that trust, its back too ground zero.
he claims he wont be the same as everyother person, he wont leave me and fall out of my life.
hell hes worse than anyother person, atleast they left when they broke my heart, he stayed and did it more than once.
but i still love him too death, he is my best friend and my other half.
thats what sucks
im not even gonna sit here and whine about how my heart is broken, shatered on the floor.
im done opeing myself up, i dont want too alow myself too be hurt anymore.
no more opening up.
no more dating, im just destined too be alone.
i surivie, theirs worse things in life
atleast im breathing right?
thats really the only matter in life.
otherwise, the begining of today was good i guess.
not really
jesus just hates me today, for many reasons.
sucidie is the pussy way out, id rather just lock myself in my room and play mario all day.
witch is what i plan on doing tomorrow, since i called off work.
i think im done now
idk i dont want too go too bed
i dont want too half too stand that 30mintues or so of laying in your bed and thinking thoughts while your drifing off too bed
i had too fake being asleep a few mintues ago, and i wasent in bed for more than 2mintues and i was allredy tearing up.
please shoot me, someone.
or get me starbucks and come play mario with me.
___
We held hands on the last night on earth. Our mouths filled with dust, we kissed in the fields and under trees, screaming like dogs, bleeding dark into the leaves. It was empty on the edge of town but we knew everyone floated along the bottom of the river. So we walked through the waste where the road curved into the sea and the shattered seasons lay, and the bitter smell of burning was on you like a disease. In our cancer of passion you said, "Death is a midnight runner." The sky had come crashing down like the news of an intimate suicide. We picked up the shards and formed them into shapes of stars that wore like an antique wedding dress. The echoes of the past broke the hearts of the unborn as the ferris wheel silently slowed to a stop. The few insects skittered away in hopes of a better pastime. I kissed you at the apex of the maelstrom and asked if you would accompany me in a quick fall, but you made me realize that my ticket wasn't good for two. I rode alone. You said, "The cinders are falling like snow." There is poetry in despair, and we sang with unrivaled beauty, bitter elegies of savagery and eloquence. Of blue and grey. Strange, we ran down desperate streets and carved our names in the flesh of the city. The sun has stagnated somewhere beyond the rim of the horizon and the darkness is a mystery of curves and lines. Still, we lay under the emptiness and drifted slowly outward, and somewhere in the wilderness we found salvation scratched into the earth like a message.