(no subject)
New Year’s: Beyond my wildest dreams. Not only did it confirm that I love Boston (and want to move there eventually), but I just had a lot of fun.
Now to be corny and typical and come up with my New Year’s Resolutions, even if they are 3 days late:
1. Stop letting one person define my entire life. I need to be able to define myself, and not rely on a sole person’s opinion.
2. Exercise. Duh. I feel very much like a big blob, and I think exercise will change that. Not to mention working off all of the cookies I’ve been eating.
3. Change what makes me unhappy. I withdrew from a lot of people this past fall, and tried to ignore all my problems. Yeah, and that went so well. I had 3 (almost nuclear) meltdowns in 6 weeks at the beginning of the semester, and a temper tantrum just before finals started.
4. Not take everything seriously. If you can’t find the humor in a situation, then you’re better off stuffed and in a museum exhibit.
Now to something that’s been bouncing around my mind for quite a while: transferring to a different college. It came up a lot while I was in Boston, since Chris (my uncle’s partner) likes to have discussions about difficult issues (which was fine, since I got some differing views on the subject that I might not otherwise have gotten). Here’s the issue: I hate my group of friends at school. Individually, I’ve hit it off with a few people, some more than others. Collectively, I hate all of them. I don’t like the fact that a minority controls the whole group. I don’t like that everyone is so close-minded, and so judgmental. I don’t like being sucked into something so tightly woven that I lose my individuality and my independence. I got some of it back this past semester when I pulled back from the group. I just couldn’t handle being so intimate with 7 other people (7 because Rachel doesn’t count, and let’s see: Marcus, Tommy, Jordan, Nisha, Lisa (sort of), Ali, Jess, Rachel and me: 9). Also, I needed to explore a little, test the waters, be on my own. Nisha said (and Rachel agreed) that I was the most independent of the group. I’m not afraid to go out and be alone. So if the problem lies in the group, then one might say change the group. Wrong. I’ve done that already. It didn’t make me that much happier. People at Muhlenberg fit into the same general mold: upper middle class, from NJ, eastern PA or southern NY, and completely immersed in the preppy/pop culture currently in vogue right now. No matter what group I hang out with, the basic structure stands, and I hate it. Nisha also said that she thinks I’ve outgrown Muhlenberg. The statement might seem a little odd, but it makes sense. I chose a relatively small college, very similar to my high school, in order to stretch my wings. Now that I’ve stretched them, I guess I’m feeling a little caged. I feel like I could better handle a larger school, with a much more diverse population.
So that’s it…Just some stuff that’s been brewing lately. Knowing me, I’ll probably graduate from Muhlenberg, but I know the option’s there, which somehow opens the cage I feel I’m in just a little bit.
I'm closing with this quote from the beginning of Love Actually, which I love, and watched just last night incidentally.
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think of the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion is starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. And if you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling that love actually is all around."
-me-
Now to be corny and typical and come up with my New Year’s Resolutions, even if they are 3 days late:
1. Stop letting one person define my entire life. I need to be able to define myself, and not rely on a sole person’s opinion.
2. Exercise. Duh. I feel very much like a big blob, and I think exercise will change that. Not to mention working off all of the cookies I’ve been eating.
3. Change what makes me unhappy. I withdrew from a lot of people this past fall, and tried to ignore all my problems. Yeah, and that went so well. I had 3 (almost nuclear) meltdowns in 6 weeks at the beginning of the semester, and a temper tantrum just before finals started.
4. Not take everything seriously. If you can’t find the humor in a situation, then you’re better off stuffed and in a museum exhibit.
Now to something that’s been bouncing around my mind for quite a while: transferring to a different college. It came up a lot while I was in Boston, since Chris (my uncle’s partner) likes to have discussions about difficult issues (which was fine, since I got some differing views on the subject that I might not otherwise have gotten). Here’s the issue: I hate my group of friends at school. Individually, I’ve hit it off with a few people, some more than others. Collectively, I hate all of them. I don’t like the fact that a minority controls the whole group. I don’t like that everyone is so close-minded, and so judgmental. I don’t like being sucked into something so tightly woven that I lose my individuality and my independence. I got some of it back this past semester when I pulled back from the group. I just couldn’t handle being so intimate with 7 other people (7 because Rachel doesn’t count, and let’s see: Marcus, Tommy, Jordan, Nisha, Lisa (sort of), Ali, Jess, Rachel and me: 9). Also, I needed to explore a little, test the waters, be on my own. Nisha said (and Rachel agreed) that I was the most independent of the group. I’m not afraid to go out and be alone. So if the problem lies in the group, then one might say change the group. Wrong. I’ve done that already. It didn’t make me that much happier. People at Muhlenberg fit into the same general mold: upper middle class, from NJ, eastern PA or southern NY, and completely immersed in the preppy/pop culture currently in vogue right now. No matter what group I hang out with, the basic structure stands, and I hate it. Nisha also said that she thinks I’ve outgrown Muhlenberg. The statement might seem a little odd, but it makes sense. I chose a relatively small college, very similar to my high school, in order to stretch my wings. Now that I’ve stretched them, I guess I’m feeling a little caged. I feel like I could better handle a larger school, with a much more diverse population.
So that’s it…Just some stuff that’s been brewing lately. Knowing me, I’ll probably graduate from Muhlenberg, but I know the option’s there, which somehow opens the cage I feel I’m in just a little bit.
I'm closing with this quote from the beginning of Love Actually, which I love, and watched just last night incidentally.
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think of the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion is starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there - fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the twin towers, as far as I know none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge - they were all messages of love. And if you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling that love actually is all around."
-me-