Just thinking...
Today was if possible even more boring at work than yesterday. Went through lots of paper and listened music from my lappy.. and explained once again to ppl that boss is on vacation and will be back at July. Sometimes I wonder why boss didn't just announce her vacation plans to everyone.
I've been bit weird lately.. hardly able to read or watch my favourite series... And instead of using my time for something usefull I end up surfing around internet without reason. Just trying to find something interesting. Why don't I use all that time to do my homework? I might even graduate on time if I did that... but no. I'm not that reasonable. Have never been.
Lately I've been feeling a bit blue and lonely. I like listening tranquil music. (expect in car.. for some reason) Right now I found myself ending single from Amatsuki. And I've been itching to write lyrics to it. Either in English or Finnish. I've never understood why I need to write lyrics to every piece of music I like. But that's the way it has been all the time I've been writing poems. *shrugs* There's also some other new OP/ED songs I've been listening lately that just makes my fingers itch. Well... maybe it'll come out eventually. I'm not sure if my lyrics would ever be usable. Though there's one song that my friend composed to my poem... wonder if he has it still somewhere...
*found herself tapping lappy like it's piano ~now that's something new*
Lonely I've been because when ever OPA comes back from farmwork he's enthusiasticly playing some sort of strategy game with computer. (Don't ask me what it is. I know nothing of them. But it looks like map of Europe to me..) Not that I mind just staying in same room with him. And he does take break every once in a while to huggle with me. But there hasn't been much talking or even "just-us-two" time... (then again when has there?) I know I could always just go downstairs and start baking something. Mum-almost-in-law wouldn't mind. But I feel difficult to take her stuff and start baking... Even though I feel like home in here there's still some awkwardness in it.
And while I complain of all this I still feel quite happy, content and cosy.
Today they operate Grandpa. Meh.. Mum called. They didn't operate him at all today. Since there's been so much accidents, they had to do those first. And since Grandpa has some sort of bacteria they have to operate him as last patient of the day.. And today was so busy day that they just decided to operate him later.
I'm calm about this whole thing. I've had this feeling all the time that he wont die, not yet. Even though I'm scared sometimes and crying about it, (thanks, alek, hC and thyella for being there for me) there's still that certainty that everything will be alright. That I'll meet him.. sitting in wheelchair, sharp as ever and full of humorous puns to make us laugh.. And that he'll question OPA about some mathematical stuff again. Heee... poor OPA. But right now there's nothing else I can do than just wait that we get some more information and pray.
Bought chips today... I just might ask OPA to watch Lord of the Ring with me... Or Star Wars... Or then I just watch rest of Hana Yori Dango Live action season 2... Hmm...