bundle of emotions
right now I am such a mess. I hate it cuz I can't even explain why really. well I guess I can. sorta. I've written in my journal about a thousand times in the past few days, I've gone to have important conversations with so many people that so much and then stop myself cuz I don't want to have it, but I do. and I did have one. and that went fine. I mean the person could have been a bit more receptive. but whatever
so then I go into this stage where in awkward silence I'll spew out a few random thoughts that in my head seem to relate, and clearly they are just at the tip of my tongue. and then ehhhh idk.
last night at heather's I was laughing so hard and water came out of my nose. must say that that was a first. I couldn't really breathe for awhile and just kept laughing. like there was no reason. but it just felt good to laugh.
and on my way home I just started balling my eyes out. for any reason I could think of, for any reason you could think of. it all just, idk I just, I just oculdn't hold it together anymore. I had almost cried when I was spewing out random facts to heather, I had almost cried on the way over, I was really close to crying when writing in my journal. and then my car ride home, which became a really long drive, I just broke down.
don't get me wrong I am happy. I just have all these thoughts. and you would think they have to do with graduation and such and I guess a tiny part of them do , but right now I'm still in the stage where leaving high school has not affected me in the least, I feel like I'm on a vacation and nothing has really changed. so my emotions really aren't that high in this field. you just wait til august for that rush of tears. cuz they'll come. trust me on that one.
have a good day.
so then I go into this stage where in awkward silence I'll spew out a few random thoughts that in my head seem to relate, and clearly they are just at the tip of my tongue. and then ehhhh idk.
last night at heather's I was laughing so hard and water came out of my nose. must say that that was a first. I couldn't really breathe for awhile and just kept laughing. like there was no reason. but it just felt good to laugh.
and on my way home I just started balling my eyes out. for any reason I could think of, for any reason you could think of. it all just, idk I just, I just oculdn't hold it together anymore. I had almost cried when I was spewing out random facts to heather, I had almost cried on the way over, I was really close to crying when writing in my journal. and then my car ride home, which became a really long drive, I just broke down.
don't get me wrong I am happy. I just have all these thoughts. and you would think they have to do with graduation and such and I guess a tiny part of them do , but right now I'm still in the stage where leaving high school has not affected me in the least, I feel like I'm on a vacation and nothing has really changed. so my emotions really aren't that high in this field. you just wait til august for that rush of tears. cuz they'll come. trust me on that one.
have a good day.