Memory Lane
So yesterday Nat and I went over to kick it with Adrienne and Brie for a while, and it was fantastic. God those cookies were great and brie can cook some Mac and Cheese let me tell you.....
We watched The Notebook, and god that movie is soooo good, and I love it soo much, but girl did the tears flow, its amazing how to queens and to lesbians can just loose it all from a movie, but we sure did, not a clean tissue left in the house.
Watching that movie made me remember my senior year in high school, why? I'm not sure, but it brought me back to the times when the Ray of Light album was huge for me. I was hanging out all the time with this guy Jason, who was in his early 20's and gorgeous as ever. I had had several boyfriends before him, and several after, but for some reason he really had an effect on me in ways that many have never even come close to. The Ray of Light album always made me feel free, like I could accomplish anything I set my mind to, and well of course it reminds me of him and the amazing times he and I would have at his house, or at a picinic in the park or just driving around trying to find something to do. He set me up to be a big part of the person I am today, and I haven't been that type of a person in a long time. It's amazing to me how jaded and bitter we can become without even trying and we just sit there and wallow, and yet we have no idea we are there. Something hit me yesterday like a mac truck and for whatever reason, it just made me miss the time where I could love someone and not worry about anything about them, and be confident in myself to know that they love me that way too. I'm not looking for love right now per say, cause quite frankly who knows what it will bring, but I think I just haven't really understood that there was that type of companionship available in my friends. I always thought you had to search for it in a man to make yourself feel validated, or well... whole. But its not that way anymore, I have the ability to be that person I was so long ago, and to be carefree and well free in general. I can find what I'm looking for anywhere I look, and that is so AMAZING to me, cause sometimes I guess you just take it all for granted.
We turn new chapters in our lives every day, and well I've always believed that your life is what you make of it, and well cliche's are made for a reason.. cause they bring about much validation of lifes general concepts. Jason taught me that we don't need to get caught up in all the drama. My parents fought and fought hard for me not to be with this boy, they just couldn't see why he would want to be with me, but they never really understood him, and what he was all about. I chose to be with him, and I chose to defy my parents, because he tought me how to release my soul into the world. I learned from him that it's ok to be different its ok to go against the grain of everything as long as you remember where your center is. I've never regretted anything in my life, and certainly not being with him. What you can learn from someone is truly amazing. I've never told anyone about him, because he has always kind of been my special little secret, every once in a while I see him, and we catch up on old times, and well he's happily married now and has kids, but in the end he knows, what he has done for me, and how happy he made me. I'm learning again how to channel that energy and here it comes, and through it all, I will always survive, but at least now I know I can be free while doing it.
Much love
Brent
We watched The Notebook, and god that movie is soooo good, and I love it soo much, but girl did the tears flow, its amazing how to queens and to lesbians can just loose it all from a movie, but we sure did, not a clean tissue left in the house.
Watching that movie made me remember my senior year in high school, why? I'm not sure, but it brought me back to the times when the Ray of Light album was huge for me. I was hanging out all the time with this guy Jason, who was in his early 20's and gorgeous as ever. I had had several boyfriends before him, and several after, but for some reason he really had an effect on me in ways that many have never even come close to. The Ray of Light album always made me feel free, like I could accomplish anything I set my mind to, and well of course it reminds me of him and the amazing times he and I would have at his house, or at a picinic in the park or just driving around trying to find something to do. He set me up to be a big part of the person I am today, and I haven't been that type of a person in a long time. It's amazing to me how jaded and bitter we can become without even trying and we just sit there and wallow, and yet we have no idea we are there. Something hit me yesterday like a mac truck and for whatever reason, it just made me miss the time where I could love someone and not worry about anything about them, and be confident in myself to know that they love me that way too. I'm not looking for love right now per say, cause quite frankly who knows what it will bring, but I think I just haven't really understood that there was that type of companionship available in my friends. I always thought you had to search for it in a man to make yourself feel validated, or well... whole. But its not that way anymore, I have the ability to be that person I was so long ago, and to be carefree and well free in general. I can find what I'm looking for anywhere I look, and that is so AMAZING to me, cause sometimes I guess you just take it all for granted.
We turn new chapters in our lives every day, and well I've always believed that your life is what you make of it, and well cliche's are made for a reason.. cause they bring about much validation of lifes general concepts. Jason taught me that we don't need to get caught up in all the drama. My parents fought and fought hard for me not to be with this boy, they just couldn't see why he would want to be with me, but they never really understood him, and what he was all about. I chose to be with him, and I chose to defy my parents, because he tought me how to release my soul into the world. I learned from him that it's ok to be different its ok to go against the grain of everything as long as you remember where your center is. I've never regretted anything in my life, and certainly not being with him. What you can learn from someone is truly amazing. I've never told anyone about him, because he has always kind of been my special little secret, every once in a while I see him, and we catch up on old times, and well he's happily married now and has kids, but in the end he knows, what he has done for me, and how happy he made me. I'm learning again how to channel that energy and here it comes, and through it all, I will always survive, but at least now I know I can be free while doing it.
Much love
Brent