Frustrated
Today I'm super homesick. I 'm nauseous and tired and can't stop crying. I also can't shake the feeling that if perhaps I wasn't in Sydney and was at home instead or even in Brisbane which is familiar and closer and so much easier to escape from I wouldn't be hating myself half as much as I am right now. Even looking at myself makes me feel ill.
I hate that I get like this. I hate that when I'm down I'm so far down I don't think I'll ever get back up. And I hate being dizzingly happy cos I always end up ruining something somehow.
I also hate that soon (maybe tomorrow, maybe after a conversation or two) I'll be fine again and this will seem like nothing. I fucking hate hormones, and I hate excuses and right now I hate me too.
Fuck.
I hate that I get like this. I hate that when I'm down I'm so far down I don't think I'll ever get back up. And I hate being dizzingly happy cos I always end up ruining something somehow.
I also hate that soon (maybe tomorrow, maybe after a conversation or two) I'll be fine again and this will seem like nothing. I fucking hate hormones, and I hate excuses and right now I hate me too.
Fuck.