Comments | summer_flinging: Harry Potter: Merope Gaunt

dalasini in summer_flinging

Harry Potter: Merope Gaunt

Aug 18, 2006 08:25

Title: Forth from the Garden
Author: kitestringer
Fandom: Harry Potter
Characters: Merope Gaunt
Word Count: ~1700 words
Rating: G
Summary: Merope contemplates her escape.
Author's Notes: Spoilers for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
ETA: Many, many thanks to maverick4oz and rustler, for comments and encouragement, and to kaynyne, for lending me her "Britpicking" expertise. :-) ( Read more... )

harry potter, dalasini

Comments 32

hibernater August 18 2006, 18:51:19 UTC

This is really well written, I thoroughly enjoyed reading it -- for the language, and the insidious insanity of Merope's character -- but you left it too short. I bet the personality and her motivations were more . . fleshed out in your mind than they are to someone who reads this; the feeling she has for her father and her brother -- I can sense there's more, but you've not just left it unsaid, you've left it unhinted at. If you're writing more, I'd like to read it, that's all.

dalasini August 19 2006, 20:54:17 UTC

I'm glad you enjoyed it even though you felt it was too short. I guess what I had in mind for this story was for it to be very small in scope, just a brief vignette; I had thought I was hinting at more, but I suppose it might not have worked out quite as well as I'd imagined! *g* In any event, thank you for the feedback! :-)

hibernater August 20 2006, 04:08:18 UTC

No, you hinted at 'something', but I wasn't sure if . . . does shlove them at all? Her father and her brother? Feel at all sorry about them having been taken to the ementors of Azkaban. You'v sidestepped that instint ery well, just through her interactions with the snake- you'v given the loveliest hints of an insanity that has little room for what is not her immediate obsession, but I suppose I was wondering, bcause she was so meek in the Pensieve scene that I expect her to struggle either with fear, or with guilt . . . maybe it's just my personal interpretation and I'm having a hard time getting past it. Anyway, lovely story.

cmwinters August 20 2006, 11:26:33 UTC

This is lovely - I love Merope fics. She's such an underexplored character.

naomi_noelle did an excellent fic on her too, if you like Merope, which you might enjoy reading. I thoroughly did. :)

dalasini August 21 2006, 10:49:31 UTC

Thank you so much for the feedback, and for the rec! I haven't read any other Merope fic, so I'm excited to check it out. :-)

amelia_eve March 9 2007, 00:55:41 UTC

Have you got a link to the story? I browsed naomi_noelle's LJ but could not ferret out the fic.

I just recently posted a Merope drabble of my own for the Strawberry Fields challenge in this comm. It focuses on the same period in Merope's life as the fic here. Inspired by the Beatles' song, it's called She's Leaving Home.

cmwinters March 9 2007, 02:00:22 UTC

As a matter of fact - yes.

http://community.livejournal.com/naomisketchpad/tag/beautiful_days

Start with chapter 1, obviously.

Thread 7

lady_game August 20 2006, 11:29:32 UTC

I liked that! Nice work, you wrote Merope really well. I wouldn't normally read a fic about her but I'm glad I read this one. Thanks for sharing!

dalasini August 21 2006, 10:50:14 UTC

Thank you so much! I'm so happy that you enjoyed it. :-)

tree_and_leaf August 21 2006, 09:27:16 UTC

I really enjoyed this - very evocative of Merope's situation and conveys a good sense of place. The aura-seeing potion Merope accidentally invented was a good idea, too.

The second last paragraph confused me a bit, though. Are you suggesting that Merope invented amortentia, found a way to modify it, or invented a different potion that makes people do what they want?

dalasini August 21 2006, 10:53:24 UTC

I'm so happy that you enjoyed it! As for the paragraph about the amortentia, I meant to imply that Merope had devised a way of modifying it and, possibly, making it a bit more effective.

Thank you so much for the feedback!

tree_and_leaf August 21 2006, 12:59:48 UTC

That makes sense!

sampaguita_blue August 21 2006, 22:45:38 UTC

I very much liked this piece.

The tone was consistent, the pacing was just right... and though Merope's accent and cadence of dialogue jarred me at first (I wasn't sure when she first started to speak whether she was meant to be Irish or from the American South), but when I fell comfortably into it, it seemed to fit her very well. (By the end of the piece I imagined that she was from the North of England-- Manchester, perhaps.)

Well done.

dalasini August 23 2006, 10:01:11 UTC

I'm so happy that you liked it! As for her dialogue, I loosely based it on someone I know; I'm glad it didn't end up jarring you too much in the end.

Thank you for the feedback!