Dazed and Confused
Yet again I ask myself this question, a question that has been bothering me for about a year, What the hell do I want? and everytime I feel like I'm whining. I have a deadline to figure out where I want to go to school, I don't know, I am also confused with relationships, I don't try to be it just happens. I feel like my life isnt very fullfilling right now. Should it? I feel like I should know more, retain more knowledge, and feel more enlightened. In terms of a relationship, sometimes its hot, sometimes it's not what I want it to be. I've noticed that it's the best when he's not on anything, and it bothers me when he's intoxicated alot of the time we hang out. I mean I do this to, but not all the time. I'm sober most of the time. I also don't feel as apreciated as I should. should I plan out everything at my age? no, but it feels like that's what I'm being pressured to do. I'm happy, but I don't think I'm as happy as I could potentially be. I need some major reflection or just a talk with a friend. anyone want a hang out day? Maybe I should just relax and have a good senior year, and think about some things later. I don't know, I'm closer to insanity.