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Feb 25, 2005 12:59

Oh joy, progress reports day. Big surprise I made the honor roll. Bigger surprise, Nick Baker nearly had a heart attack because he got an A-. The freak. Turns out it should have been a regular A and it was a computer mark or something. Like I care? No, not really. Though, I would have paid good money to see the computer screw up and give him like a C in Trig. Though, it would probably kill him so maybe I shouldn't wish that on him.

My parents are going away for the weekend to some conference. They don't even ask me if I want to come along anymore. In fact, Mom asked if Eric would be staying for the weekend because she wanted to have the fridge stocked if he was. Hah. She so crushes on my boyfriend ever since he showed up with the boombox.

I told her I honestly wasn't sure because I can't remember if he said he has training this weekend or not. So, just in case, she'll stock it. They're going to Vegas. I hope they don't gamble away my college fund.

He keeps rambling about wanting to buy this brick house on Charleston street and rent it out. Right. Because real estate on the Hellmouth is a good investment? I worry about my father sometimes.

I guess it wouldn't hurt to check it out. It's kind of pretty with it's white picket fence and all. The door is open which, um, hello kind of weird because it is furnished and stuff. The lights come on and I'm standing in my room. I don't even remember going up the stairs. There is a knock at the door and I hear Mom calling for me to come downstairs.

I run down the stairs, and stop when I see Captain Morgann standing in the doorway looking like my father looks when he loses a patient. "Captain Morgann?" I ask, frozen at the foot of the stairs. I want to run back up the stairs, call Eric, I don't want to hear what Captain Morgann is saying to me.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am. I can't give out the details..." He rambles on, trying to explain that Eric was killed in action and that he died bravely and he was a hero. I don't care. I DON'T CARE THAT HE DIED A HERO BECAUSE HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO DIE.

"NO! No, he's not dead. I don't believe you." I'm crying and Daddy tried to hug me, but I push past him and grab at Captain Morgann's hands, squeezing them tight. "Please, please he can't be dead. Eric..."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am." His voice is so tight and I don't remember when I started hitting him.

"You're sorry? You were supposed to look out for him. He was supposed to come home to me! What happened? Tell me how it happened?" I'm pulled off of him by my parents and not once did Captain Morgann try and defend himself. He just keeps looking at me with these sympathetic and haunted eyes. Eyes that remind me of Eric and god I just want to die.

"I'm not at liberty.." He begins, but I scream. I'm screaming so loud and it's not words. It's just a scream and I see my father looking for the medical bag. I hear him tell Mom that he's going to sedate me. Good. Because I can't handle this. I can't handle losing him. Not when I love him this much. Fuck him, he had no right to die on me. Not after he made me love him.

I see the needle and part of me wants to stay and let Daddy take the pain away, but for some reason I run away. I run out the door and don't look back.

This is the house Daddy keeps talking about buying. I'd check it out, but I need to get to cheerleading practice and sneak in a call to Eric to see if he will be around this weekend.
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