and steady, the walls close in...
this room is so huge without allllllll of my stuff in it. everyone seemed so surprised that i didn't want to move all of this stuff out, too, but i feel like there's just nothing in here. i guess from the perspective of the bed is different from the doorway. everything looks so empty and sad. the strangest thing about leaving this room--i know i've said that a lot, but really, the strangest thing--is that i don't have a single picture of it. i kind of regret that more than anything; condom jokes aside. the only other thing i really regret about this summer...well, there's a few, i guess.
i regret not seeing zac more. even though he drove me absolutely insane and even though i said so much about how much i can't stand him...i wish things had worked out, y'know? when he was down here and i was down here, everything was so fun and he was wonderful. and i know it sounds like a stupid girl making stupid excuses, but it really isn't his fault we never saw each other. i'm a big fan of getting angry at the drop of a hat...for completely stupid reasons. i don't know. i kind of hope things work out a little better during the school year. i used to have such a great time with him and i really miss that.
i also regret not seeing tommy more. that pretty much goes without explanation. i miss the friendship we had back in january--i used to have the best talks with that kid. i know he'll be back in september and i'm thrilled to know he'll be working in boston, and he'll be living right down here...but it's never going to be the same. i'm really, really going to miss that.
but i really regret how things happened--or rather, didn't happen--with shaun thompson. i said this to jamie the other night and i completely believe it--i honestly think i could've fallen completely in love with him with no problem. not stupid "oh my gawd i'm soooo in love with this boooooy" but honest to god could've someday married him love. he was smart in a way that didn't make me feel stupid, just like i was always learning when i was with him. he was so funny in a way that i'm funny, and so we understood each other. he was really sweet and honestly enjoyed learning. and he was so, so good looking. he had eyes i could've stared into forever. i miss him like crazy. i kind of wonder if he ever thinks back on our time together.
god, i miss him.
the point is, i know i keep writing about moving out of this room and i know it's repetative and whatnot. it's just strange. i just can't get over it.
i'm going to miss it, ok? ...i'm going to miss it.
i regret not seeing zac more. even though he drove me absolutely insane and even though i said so much about how much i can't stand him...i wish things had worked out, y'know? when he was down here and i was down here, everything was so fun and he was wonderful. and i know it sounds like a stupid girl making stupid excuses, but it really isn't his fault we never saw each other. i'm a big fan of getting angry at the drop of a hat...for completely stupid reasons. i don't know. i kind of hope things work out a little better during the school year. i used to have such a great time with him and i really miss that.
i also regret not seeing tommy more. that pretty much goes without explanation. i miss the friendship we had back in january--i used to have the best talks with that kid. i know he'll be back in september and i'm thrilled to know he'll be working in boston, and he'll be living right down here...but it's never going to be the same. i'm really, really going to miss that.
but i really regret how things happened--or rather, didn't happen--with shaun thompson. i said this to jamie the other night and i completely believe it--i honestly think i could've fallen completely in love with him with no problem. not stupid "oh my gawd i'm soooo in love with this boooooy" but honest to god could've someday married him love. he was smart in a way that didn't make me feel stupid, just like i was always learning when i was with him. he was so funny in a way that i'm funny, and so we understood each other. he was really sweet and honestly enjoyed learning. and he was so, so good looking. he had eyes i could've stared into forever. i miss him like crazy. i kind of wonder if he ever thinks back on our time together.
god, i miss him.
the point is, i know i keep writing about moving out of this room and i know it's repetative and whatnot. it's just strange. i just can't get over it.
i'm going to miss it, ok? ...i'm going to miss it.