An Understanding So Deep
Title: An Understanding So Deep
Pairing: HanHae
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance, Just a little angst, Fluff
Summary: Not much words are needed when there's an understanding so deep. (Uh, apparently I fail at summaries. Sorry!)
A/N: Dedicated to all HanHae lovers out there! *Holds champagne* Cheers! =)
No spot for Stef since she don't read Hanhae! LOL. (You remember our nonsensical joke right, Stef?!)
“Donghae!”
Said person stopped in his tracks and turned back to find the last person he wanted to see now running up to him.
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” Hankyung said while trying to catch his breath.
Donghae frowned. His friend hasn’t been looking for him ever since that girl went into his life. The couple met at the carnival which the school organised last week for a festive occasion and they had been inseparable since. He loves Hankyung in a way not quite acceptable to others and had thought the other felt the same. Well, looks like he was miserably wrong.
He couldn’t remember the name of the girl. He couldn’t remember particularly how they met. But he remembered his outburst when Hankyung had told him about her. He remembered the hurt he felt instantly. He remembered the humiliation when he had gushed “I love you!” and all he saw was confusion in Hankyung’s eyes.
“-like a brother… I love you like a brother. Are you sure she’s the one for you? What if she’s not as nice as she looks? What if she just wants-“
He had blabbered on and Hankyung had just smiled. “It’s worth a try, I think.”
“What do you want?” Donghae said with irritation evident in his tone and didn’t miss the wince Hankyung made at that.
Hankyung dismissed the irritation he heard in Donghae’s voice. There’s something more important than that now. He didn’t know why Donghae have been a little too hostile towards him lately. But he guessed it could be due to some personal problems that he didn’t seem to want to share.
“Help me.” Hankyung plead.
Realisation hit Donghae before he grabbed Hankyung’s hand. “Let’s go.”
It wasn’t the first or the second time. Therefore when Hankyung had said that two most vulnerable words he could ever have heard coming from his mouth, Donghae knew exactly what he was pleading for.
Hankyung’s mother must have called to tell him his father was drunk again. A normal drunk person is not scary. But a drunken Uncle Han is definitely terrifying. He never fails to stir trouble if he’s in public and if he’s at home, Hankyung and his mother would be the ones in trouble. He would beat them up as if his life depended on it. Hankyung was not strong enough so whenever his father comes home drunk, he would always call Donghae for help.
Even though Donghae was not much stronger than Hankyung, still, two is the better strength of one. As much as Donghae respects Uncle Han for trying every means within his ability to bring bread home for his family, he hates that he turns to drinking to relieve his stress.
***
“Uncle Han!”
Donghae called out sharply as if to sober him up a little. It was a total wreck when he and Hankyung had reached his house. His mother was hiding in one of the small closet and nearly cried out in relief when she saw them.
“Papa!” Hankyung cried out.
Both young men caught the elder man by the armpits trying to hold him down as he thrashed about shouted gruffly full of vulgar words. Hankyung felt helpless as he saw his mother huddled up in a corner of the house looking at them through shimmering eyes as tears spill from their depths. Her eyes just flashed that teeny bit moment of guilt before it was masked. He knew she blamed herself but for what, he didn’t know. His mother always blames herself for anything that happens in the house. He guessed all mothers are like that.
Not long after, his father grew limp and started mumbling incoherently while flailing his arms about every once in a while. That’s when they both carried him to the bedroom which took a little while with evidence from the size of Hankyung’s father. But when they finally did manage to place him on the bed, Hankyung softly asked Donghae to help check on his mother while he change his father out of his dirty clothes that was stained with vomitus.
Hankyung hates this. He hates that he has to always depend on Donghae to get things done. Donghae might not know it, but he loves him. He loves him in a way not quite acceptable by society. His mother knew of his feelings and had talked to him about it. She was not against it but neither was she supportive of it. He knows she would still want him to date girls even though she might just leave him to do whatever he wants so long as he’s happy.
Hankyung sighed as he looked down at his father who’s now in clean and neat clothes. His heart wrench at the sight of his father’s beaten state. He doesn’t blame him. He would never blame him. He knew he was just too drunk to even realise what he’d done. Too stress to even control his intake of liquor and too numb to even notice how much he’d taken in. Everyone needs a time out every once in a while. Deep in the far back of his mind, he knows how much this father loves his child and wife.
Sighing again, he suddenly thought of the girl he met at the carnival last week. She’s a nice lady and they hit it off well. For so many years, Hankyung had only Donghae as a friend due to his shy personality. But it’s only been a short three days when they opened up to one another. He’d told her about Donghae and she had told him about this huge crush she had on the captain of a basketball team.
Hankyung smiled. It’s nice to have a new friend.
***
Donghae moved to the kitchen where Hankyung’s mother was presumably making them things to eat. He could see from her back that she’s tired, exhausted, and… almost giving up. He went over to her and put his hand on her shoulder giving a light squeeze.
She jumped a little. “Donghae.” She said in surprise and gave a little sniff. “Are you hungry?”
Donghae gave a little nod and felt his heart contract at the delight he saw in her face as it lit up. She held up the plate of fruits she had just cut to Donghae and he took one of it. Biting into the juicy treat, he gave a grin which had her smiling that beautiful smile he’d always found she possessed.
“Thanks Auntie Han.” Donghae said cheerily.
“…”
“No, thank you Donghae. Dear boy… I -“ Her words were cut off as she choked on a sob.
“Auntie Han…”
“It’s all right. Donghae, I’m all right.” She forced a smile.
There was a moment too long of silence before Hankyung’s mother spoke again.
“I’m thankful to you for helping us out whenever we needed help. I’m thankful to you for still wanting to be Hankyung’s friend even after what you saw the first time this happened. I’m thankful you gave Hankyung so much more love than anyone else could have. I’m thankful for you, and you, for being you.”
She smiled shakily as tears shimmer in the pools of beautiful dark brown orbs that resemble Hankyung’s. Donghae felt the threatened spillage of saline drops at her words.
I’m thankful I found Hankyung and you guys.
He moved to her as she held out her arms and hugged him tightly as she would her own child and cried out her pent up emotions.
***
“Donghae?”
It was a few hours later when Hankyung had settled his father who was now clean and shaven. His mother had also given in to sleep on the couch and he decided to move her back to bed instead. He’s so exhausted right now he could just fall and sleep anywhere. That’s when he remembered about Donghae. Had he left?
“Donghae?” He called out again. Hankyung turned to the direction of his room when he heard an answer.
“I thought you’d left.”
“I was waiting for you.”
“Oh?”
“I wanted to tell you something.”
“Okay.” Hankyung sat down next to Donghae on his bed.
“Oh wait, but before that…” Hankyung stopped Donghae before he could speak. “I want to thank you for everything today. Well… In fact, I couldn’t really have done it without you.” Hankyung half laughed, half scoffed. “Isn’t it funny how I always seem to be depending on you? This is not good.”
Donghae stared at Hankyung who was looking down on the floor shaking his head profusely with a hand rubbing the back of his head.
“I love you.”
“What?” Hankyung snaps his head up looking wide eyed at Donghae.
“I said I love you.”
Hankyung looked at him as if expecting him to elaborate on it.
“What? I love you. I said I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you and nothing’s going to change it.”
Hankyung swallowed nervously. “Donghae…”
“I know you already have a girlfriend, but I just want you to know how I feel. I don’t love you like a brother, I love you as in love you love you.”
“Donghae, she’s-“
“I won’t expect you to reciprocate my fee-“
Donghae’s words were cut off as soft lips met his own. It was a little moment later that Donghae realised what was going on but those soft lips were already gone. He leaned forward to capture those lips again only to be stopped by hands on his shoulders.
“Now it’s my turn to speak.” Hankyung gave that familiar smile Donghae found he was addicted to.
“First, I don’t have a girlfriend. She’s just a friend whom I hit it off well with. Second, how am I going to reciprocate my feelings when you keep on blabbering? Lastly…”
Donghae felt his breath hitched as Hankyung’s words were repeated in his mind. “How am I going to reciprocate my feelings when you keep on blabbering?”
“Lastly, I love you too.”
“…”
“What?” Donghae couldn’t believe his ears. “You…”
“Yes, I love you as in love you love you.” Hankyung said with a release of a breath he didn’t realise he was holding in. “Lee Donghae, I love you.” He said with more confidence.
Donghae sat stunned but just for a tiny moment before he literally pounced on Hankyung earning a chuckle from the taller man.
“I LOVE YOU!” Donghae shouted happily which had Hankyung immediately pulling back and clamped his hand over his mouth.
“Shush. We don’t want to wake my mother.” Hankyung said with a grin as goofy as Donghae’s.
“Oops.” Donghae all but looked apologetic. He couldn’t care much for he was beyond elated.
Hankyung gave an almost too loud but delighted sigh and fell backwards onto the bed which Donghae followed suit by plopping himself on Hankyung’s chest looking earnestly up at him. Hankyung had his eyes closed while smiling softly.
Donghae never thought this day would come. He never thought he’d ever express how he felt towards Hankyung much less hearing Hankyung actually say he felt the same. He wasn’t at all miserably wrong after all.
“Hannie?”
“Hm?”
“Can I stay for the night?”
There was a soft laugh that could only be distinctively Hankyung’s. “Of course you can.”
There was a giggle as Donghae moved to snuggle against Hankyung who then put his arm around his boyfriend. He rubbed his back in soothing circles and Donghae snuggled deeper as he rubbed his head against his chest. He gave a contented sigh and whispered one last time. This time it was almost inaudible. I love you.
I love you too, Donghae.
END--